MetaChat - SHOUT! SHOUT! LET IT ALL OUT!

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03 September 2009

SHOUT! SHOUT! LET IT ALL OUT! →[More:]
MAN SITTING OPPOSITE ME ON THE CENTRAL LINE THIS EVENING. YES, YOU! DID YOU HONESTLY THINK NOBODY NOTICED YOU PICKING YOUR NOSE THE WHOLE WAY FROM STRATFORD TO SOUTH WOODFORD WHEN (THANK GOD) YOU GOT OFF THE TRAIN?? YOU FILTHY, DISGUSTING PIG!

AND I KNOW IT WAS ONLY A SCALE AND POLISH AT THE DENTIST THIS MORNING BUT MY POOR MOUF IS STILL SORE. I ONLY ATE A RIPE PEAR TODAY AND I HAVE A LOVELY DINNER COOKING BUT I DON'T KNOW IF I'LL BE ABLE TO EAT IT. AND I'M HUNGRY!!!

THESE ARE THE THINGS I CAN DO WITHOUT!

OK, YOUR TURN. SHOUT!

post by: essexjan at: 13:07 | 28 comments

I THINK ONE OF THE 15,000 COMPANIES I'VE INTERVIEWED WITH SHOULD GIVE ME A JOB. I'M A VERY NICE GIRL.

WE HAVE NO PLANS FOR THE REST OF THE DAY, OTHER THAN TO GIVE MY LANDLORD THE RENT WHEN HE COMES BY LATER. WE'RE THINKING COSTCO, MAYBE? OR MAYBE JUST MAKING COOKIES AND SITTING HOME AND EATING. I DUNNO.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 03 September | 13:13

STAB STAB STAB—STAB STAB

posted by Firas 03 September | 13:13

COULD I BE A VOLUNTEER COORDINATOR? I MEAN, I'VE COORDINATED VOLUNTEERS. WHY AM I AFRAID TO APPLY FOR THIS JOB?

posted by box 03 September | 13:41

WHAT GOOD IS AN IPHONE WHEN THE STUPID TOUCH SCREEN NO LONGER WORKS? IT MIGHT AS WELL BE A ROCK. IT'S MY ONLY PHONE SO NOW NO ONE CAN CALL ME. NOT COOL. I'M HOPING APPLE WILL REPLACE IT FOR ME, BUT DOUBTING THAT THEY WILL BECAUSE IT'S PRETTY OLD. GRRRRRR.

AND IF I DON'T GET A FULL NIGHT'S SLEEP SOMETIME SOON I'M GOING TO BE THE GRUMPIEST RUDEST PERSON AROUND AND I REALLY DON'T WANT TO BE!

AND WHY WON'T THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE OF THE SCHOOL I APPLIED TO HURRY UP AND LOOK AT MY APP? I USED TO BE AN ADMISSIONS COUNSELOR, DON'T TRY TO BLOW SUNSHINE UP MY SKIRT, ADMISSIONS RECEPTIONIST. I BROUGHT IT TO YOU ON THE 18TH, I HAVE A CHECK THAT SAYS SO! SO DON'T TELL ME I DIDN'T BRING IT IN UNTIL THE 24TH. RAWR. I WILL BE LUCKY IF I KNOW IF I AM GOING TO SCHOOL THIS SEMESTER THE DAY BEFORE SCHOOL STARTS.

posted by Sil 03 September | 13:44

YOU! SMOOTH-TALKING BASTARD IN THE OVAL OFFICE! IT'S OBVIOUS THAT YOU'RE GOING TO SELL US OUT ON THE PUBLIC OPTION! THE SIGNS ARE EVERYWHERE! SO JUST GET IT OVER WITH ALREADY!

posted by Joe Beese 03 September | 15:07

SOMETIMES I LIKE THE IDEA OF CHEESEBURGERS THAT ARE SELF CONGNIZANT AND THAT'S WHY I DON'T EAT THEM. IT ISN'T THAT I MIND OTHER PEOPLE EATING THEM BUT A SELF-AWARE CHEESEBURGER FREAKS ME OUT IN A 'OMG THE TITANIC IS DROWNING' SORT OF WAY, NOT THE 'OH, HE CALLED ME POJAMA PEOPLE' SORT OF WAY, BUT IT'S THE SLIGHT DERIVATIONS THAT YOU HAVE TO PAY ATTENTION TO WHEN DEALING WITH MEAT THAT KNOWS. RABBITS ALSO KNOW THIS AND THAT IS WHY THEY ARE 100% FIRMLY BEHIND THE 'NO EATING CHEESEBURGERS' STANCE ALTHOUGH WE ALL KNOW REALLY THAT CATS CAN BE FAT BASTARDS AND EAT ANYTHING PUT INFRONT OF THEM SO NO MATTER HOW SNOOTY THEY MIGHT ACT, THEY'RE STILL WILLING TO WALK THROUGH CREEPY AND DIRTY CREVICES OF WALLS AND PUT DEAD, NON-PROCESSED THINGS IN THEIR MOUTH SO DON'T LET THEM FOOL YOU!!! NO MATTER WHAT THE CAT SAYS, HE'S ONLY A CONNOISSEUR OF CROTCH LICKING, I TELL YOU WHAT!!

posted by eatdonuts 03 September | 15:43

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH

WARRARAGHKAUGIAIJNJAKLJAFL GGOAGIOAGIl!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

OK, I feel better now.

posted by occhiblu 03 September | 15:49

KIDS SHOULD GET OFF MY DAMN SIDEWALK WITH THEIR BIKES! RUNNING ME OVER AND SHIT. I'LL SMACK YOU! I MEAN IT!

posted by Dejah 03 September | 15:58

THERE'S NO WAY IN HECK ON A COUPLE OF TOOTHPICKS I CAN GET THIS DONE FOR YOU BY TUESDAY. IT'S AN ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF WORK, SO, NOT A CHANCE SINCE YOU JUST GAVE IT TO ME THIS AFTERNOON! THERE ARE OTHER JOB OBLIGATIONS THAT CANNOT BE PUT OFF, AND SINCE YOU DON'T PAY ME A SINGLE PENNY OF VACATION, OVERTIME, SICK DAY OR OTHER BENEFIT, NO, I'M NOT CHANGING MY PLANS FOR THE WEEKEND.

YES, REALLY, I'M CALLING IN AN OUTSIDE CONTRACT PERSON WHO I KNOW WILL DO A GOOD JOB AND BE ABLE TO HELP ME GET THIS DONE. FRACK YOU!

posted by mightshould 03 September | 16:17

YOU STUPID THIEVING TENANTS WHO SKATED ON MY DAD'S DEMENTIA-ADDLED GOOD GRACES FOR SO LONG AND THEN CLAIMED YOU WOULD NOW PAY THE RENT AFTER YOU LIVED ON OUR PROPERTY SINCE YOU WERE A LITTLE GIRL IN JR HIGH. WELL TASTE EVICTION BABY.

ALSO, FINGER-BITER GUY? WAY TO MAKE US ALL LOOK B AD. FUCK YOU.

posted by dhartung 03 September | 16:35

INTERNET COMMENTER ASKING "WHAT IS ___ ?" ... DID YOU FORGET THAT YOU ARE CONNECTED TO THE FREAKING INTERNET?! IF YOU AREN'T WILLING TO LOOK IT UP ON GOOGLE OR WIKIPEDIA, YOU DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT THE ANSWER! SO I DON'T REALLY CARE TO REPLY TO YOUR QUESTION! SEE HOW THAT WORKS?!

posted by Joe Beese 03 September | 16:49

YEAH, TAKE A LOOK AT MY PROJECT BOARD AND TELL PEOPLE I'M "APPARENTLY "TOO BUSY"" IN SCARE QUOTES AND EVERYTHING! YOU WERE HAPPY ENOUGH WITH THE RESULTS I'VE HAD UP TIL NOW.

YOU KEEP JUMPING WHENEVER SOMEONE SNIPES AT YOU, MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE IN ANOTHER LINE OF WORK. SERIOUSLY? IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOUR STAFF BECAUSE YOU DON'T ASK AND DON'T PAY ATTENTION, YEAH YOU'RE GONNA GET "BLIND-SIDED".

AND DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT BEING GONE, MR. VACATION FOR AT LEAST A MONTH EVERY YEAR. I HAD THREE WEEKS IN FOUR YEARS. SHOVE IT.

posted by lysdexic 03 September | 16:49

THIS CIDER GIVES ME GAS.

posted by kldickson 03 September | 18:04

(IT'S WOODCHUCK HARD CIDER. TASTY, BUT THE BACTERIA IN MY GUT ARE GOING NUTS. )

posted by kldickson 03 September | 18:07

GAAAH, STUPID COMCAST'S INTERNET SERVICE KEEPS GOING OUT AND THEY DONT HAVE ANY IDEA WHATS WRONG. I HATE TYPING ON MY PHONE WITH MY THUMBS, NO WONDER I NEVER TEXT ANYONE.

posted by octothorpe 03 September | 18:22

KIM AND LEIGH I'M TALKING TO YOU, BOTH OF YOU. YOU AREN'T RELATED TO EACH OTHER BUT YOU COULD BE. YOU ARE THE TWINS OF STUPID. YOU SAY DUMB STUFF AND YOU'RE SO CLUELESS. THE WORST IS THAT YOU'VE MISTAKEN BEING LUCKY FOR BEING GOOD. YOU COULD NOT HANDLE WHAT I DEAL WITH. I HAVE NO RESPECT FOR EITHER ONE OF YOU. SO NEXT TIME WE SEE YOU AT THE PARK AND YOU SAY SOMETHING SMUG ABOUT HOW WONDERFUL YOUR CHILDREN ARE WHILE LOOKING SIDEWAYS AT MINE, JUST KNOW THAT WHILE I MAY ACT POLITE, IN MY HEART I'M FEELING SORRY FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING. AND IN MY HEAD I'M POKING PINS INTO VOODOO DOLLS THAT LOOK LIKE YOU. BOTH OF YOU, THE TWINS OF STUPID.

posted by Kangaroo 03 September | 18:33

HERE I AM IN AUSTRALIA AND I'M 26 AND I DON'T HAVE A DEGREE AND SINCE I GOT KICKED OUT OF COLLEGE I DOUBT ANY PLACE HERE WILL ADMIT ME AND THE ONLY JOBS I'M QUALIFIED FOR ARE WAITING TABLES AND RUNNING A REGISTER. AND I HAD TO GIVE UP A REALLY GOOD JOB, A THREE-BEDROOM HOUSE (RENT-FREE), A CAR THAT I LOVED, MY HORSE WHO'S ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS, MY HAMSTER (DITTO), MY CHANCE AT A DEGREE, AND REGULAR CONTACT WITH MY FAMILY. NOW I'VE GOT NONE OF THAT, NO PROSPECTS, AND NOT EVEN A FRIEND TO CRY TO EXCEPT MY HUSBAND WHO'S SICK OF MY WHINING! I AM UNHAPPY!

GRRRRRRRR. RAWR. ARGH.

posted by po 03 September | 18:58

IT'S YOUR CHOICE NOT TO SPEAK TO YOUR FATHER FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE BUT DON'T EXPECT ME TO RELAY MESSAGES FOR YOU.

posted by desjardins 03 September | 21:43

TO MY MOTHER: THANKS FOR THE GUILT TRIP. MY BAGS WERE ALREADY PACKED ANYWAY.

posted by desjardins 03 September | 21:45

DON'T COMPLAIN WE HAVE NO FOOD IN THE HOUSE WHEN I ASKED YOU THREE TIMES TO GO GROCERY SHOPPING LAST WEEKEND.

(SORRY, I HAVE A LOT OF SHOUTING TO DO)

posted by desjardins 03 September | 21:58

MICHAEL VICK REINSTATED INTO NFL TODAY. SCUMBAG PONDLIFE WHO SERVED NO TIME FOR ANY ANIMAL CRUELTY CHARGES BECAUSE HE COPPED A PLEA DEAL AND ONLY ADMITTED TO FEDERAL RACKETEERING. WHEN HE ELECTROCUTED DOGS SLOWLY AND WATCHED THEM DIE IN PANIC WHEN THEY COULDN'T GET OUT OF HIS SWIMMING POOL. I HOPE HE BREAKS HIS LEG.

posted by Susurration 03 September | 22:08

OBNOXIOUS LOUDMOUTH AT BAR SAYING HE LIKES ANIMALS MORE THAN PEOPLE! YES BECAUSE MAYBE THEY AREN'T REPULSED BY YOUR ODOR AND PERSONALITY LIKE HUMANS ARE.

posted by The Whelk 03 September | 22:41

LIVING WITH TEENAGERS IS LIKE LIVING WITH THE CRAPPIEST ROOMATES EVAR- AND THERE'S NO WAY TO GET RID OF THEM.'TIL THEY GROW THE FUCK UP!!!!

posted by readery 03 September | 22:41

BY THE WAY WITH A BAD MEMORY STICK REMOVED MY PC IS VERY SLOW AND IT MAKES ME CRANKY JUST SO YOU ALL KNOW.

posted by dhartung 03 September | 23:24

CALLING VICK A SCUMBAG IS DOING A DISSERVICE TO SCUMBAGS!

posted by deborah 04 September | 00:20

HEY ASSHOLE, YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WAS BABBLING TO YOUR FRIEND, NOT WATCHING WHERE YOU WERE GOING AND KNOCKED ME OVER!!!!!

THE WEATHER FINALLY TURNED NICE, BUT I WANTED TO BE OUT OF NYC WHEN IT WAS NASTY THESE PAST FEW WEEKS!

I'VE SAID BEFORE VICK SHOULD BE STRIPPED, HAVE HAMBURGER SMEARED ON HIS COCK AND LET THE PITS AT HIM.

MY KNEE HURTS!!!!!!!

posted by brujita 04 September | 01:00

Would that make you feel good, brujita?

posted by danostuporstar 04 September | 07:43

Not really, but quid pro quo.

posted by brujita 05 September | 02:06

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