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14 July 2009
Which words make you wince? Leverage your demonstrable expertise, liaise with your Metachat partners in this iconic thread!
Well, at work I'm often asked if I'm "across" some issue/process/project etc.
The first couple of times, I just stared blankly into space, wondering if I was really in the right team/job/department/company. Now I just wince (also I smile and nod, knowing that anyone asking if I'm 'across' something has NFI about how that something works...)
Pretty much anything said by marketing or sales people. Probably my most hated word in the world of computer marketing is "solutions." "We don't sell products, we sell solutions!" Ick.
"Take it offline" for "discuss it later" (used in offline conversations).
The worst was a while back when in a news broadcast about a new yacht, they talked about when it would "come online". You can't even "launch" an actual boat now...
When I read PC Magazine, 'solutions' for 'Road Warriors' used to drive me nuts. Figuring out which dongles to pack on your business trip is the hardest job a man can do.
Alright
Inflammable
Center of Excellence (long-term work project)
Best Practices
Lean Manufacturing
If current trends continue (they never do)
Pretty much any words that are PC or mask a less desirable meaning (i.e. just stop with the frigging wastefulness, already), and what octothorpe said
Phrases: Thinking outside of the box /// in the final analysis (another version of at the end of the day). Words: Synergy/synergistic /// zeitgeist /// oxymoron.
All used by people who want to sound as if they know what they are talking about, when they don't.
Nouns turned into a verb by adding -ize: productize, pictureize, promotionize (etc.) Tend to be used by people who don't understand the difference between "turn into " and "produce " (which is what they mean to say). On the positive side, I am all for words that seem to communicate their meaning through their sound: didactic, staccato, syncopated, susurration ... :-)
One of the Guardian commenters: A woman from the bank called me the other day and opened our conversation with the line: "Is it a good time to talk with yourself?"
- every sales/marketing/corporate-speak term ever invented. I've actually had conversations that went like this, with no irony attached at the time:
LT @ Work: "okay, by cross-platform swimlane buy-in leading to a best practices environment, you mean everyone here has to agree to what this plan is to minimize the problems we might have?"
PERSON LEADING MEETING: (pause)
PERSON ACROSS FROM LT IN MEETING: "Yes, that is what she meant."
LT: "Thanks. Fine by me then."
This is a transcript from my first-ever meeting at my old job.
rmless2, we have had this discussion before. So once again, you need start thinking outside the box and embrace the new paradigm of organizational synergy here. This mission-critical function is win-win as you bring value-added solutions and resources that leverage your skill set and exploit your core competencies. You really need to get this on your radar.
Going forward.
Gift, when used as a verb.
"Oh so" with any adjective at all.
Roadmap, when used to mean something like "schedule" or "plan".)
Pain points.
Man up.
Resources, when used to mean people.
I know it's probably technically correct but...I really hate "fora" vs. "forums". I mean, the Romans only had one forum so why try to Latinize the plural?
Can someone back me up on this? I keep changing it and the damn lawyers keep changing it back.
"Piece" to refer to any action or set of related actions that would take about 2 hours or less to complete, regardless of their content. Like, "Today I'm going to work on the budget piece, marketing piece, and a student piece" when what you really have to do is return a call to Accounts Payable, email an ad design to the printer, and talk to a teenager about their parent's divorce. It's creepy that anyone could think that all of these could possibly be comparable.
MY OLD BOSS USED TO ASK ME "WHAT ARE YOUR LEARNINGS FROM THAT MEETING?"
SRSLY, WTF? DUDE, YOU WENT TO MIT. PLS DON'T BE DUMB!
I also don't like argumentation when argument works just as well. Plus a lot of what other ppl have said. Pain points, take-away, drill down, and so on. There wasn't a day I didn't want to punch my boss in the throat.
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