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24 March 2009

MeFiTV If there were a Metafilter TV channel, what would you do to contribute your bit to programming? I want to do a craft show and be on a book discussion panel show.
post by: Orange Swan at: 10:54 | 47 comments
I'll be a pundit or host to pundits. (I'm thinkin' a big game show component tho .... hmmmm
posted by Claudia_SF 24 March | 10:57
I'm imagining killer cooking shows. I can see Jonmc as a VJ. And the talk show would rule. It would often feature anonymous MeFites appearing with paper bags over their heads and asking long, convoluted relationship questions.
posted by Orange Swan 24 March | 10:59
My mom and I would host the half-assed cooking show. In the wee hours, I'd be the weather bunny.
posted by crush-onastick 24 March | 10:59
I want to host the metatalk show.
posted by gaspode 24 March | 11:00
Oh dear I'm imagining a jeopardy style game show with challenges and counter-challenges to the legitimacy and accuracy of the quiz answers. That would be a bad show.
posted by Claudia_SF 24 March | 11:01
Heh heh.
posted by gaspode 24 March | 11:02
Other shows we shouldn't do include: weight loss reality shows, pet care shows, and circumcision shows.
posted by Orange Swan 24 March | 11:04
[sniff] Sorry, I don't do TV*. [/sniff]

long, convoluted relationship questions

OS, the audience would have voting buttons like See A Doctor and DTMFA.


*I know, so 90's.
posted by trinity8-director 24 March | 11:06
Of course we'd have to have some sort of call-in show, and in every episode, at least one caller would have to say, "Is this show something I would need a TV to be able to comment on? Because I don't have a TV."
posted by Orange Swan 24 March | 11:08
i'll be bob ross
posted by eatdonuts 24 March | 11:19
I'll randomly browse through Ceefax in the early hours before the real programmes start.
posted by chrismear 24 March | 11:30
Ooh, I wanna be Judge Judy -- I would listen to problems re noisy neighbors, hear legal and moral arguments from the audience, and then not rule.
posted by Claudia_SF 24 March | 11:30
≡ Click to see image ≡
posted by danostuporstar 24 March | 11:33
IS THIS SOMETHING I WOULD HAVE TO HAVE A TV TO UNDERSTAND???

Sorry, couldn't help myself.
posted by loiseau 24 March | 11:36
I would invite the camera into my house. My segment would be called, "How Not to Manage Your Day"
posted by LoriFLA 24 March | 11:36
I'll just make sure the green room is fully stocked and ready for anything. I'll also procure interns for a fee.
posted by Hugh Janus 24 March | 11:37
Oh, and I want a dating show. It'll be called "The Spinster" and feature me and half a dozen MeFites who would be vying to date me. Of course, instead of them being eliminated one at a time by me, they'd drop out until the last guy had the choice of me or whatever's behind door number two and said, "Nah. Not interested either," and went home with a new car.
posted by Orange Swan 24 March | 11:41
I'll do the house, RV, and garden shows (ianag)!

Where's Meatbomb? He must have a show. :)
posted by halonine 24 March | 11:55
I want to sell pitchforks and torches and popcorn outside the studios. I won't be on TV but I'll be rich. RICH, I tell you! Bwah ha ha ha!
posted by mygothlaundry 24 March | 12:02
I'll host the pet show we shouldn't do. I'll tell everyone what they must and mustn't do with pets and if the owners don't do what I say, because I'm always right of course, I'll threaten them with the SPCA and PETA.
posted by deborah 24 March | 12:04
i'll be bob ross

nooooooooooo! I want to paint the happy trees!

Actually I'll settle for oil pastels on really good paper. Then origami.
posted by lysdexic 24 March | 12:09
Dibs on life coach. This'll be pay-per-view, right? Because I'm going to address some seriously DLSV AC AL V SC topics.
posted by eamondaly 24 March | 12:16
eamon: I'd pay for that. Will you lift naughty things with your beard?
posted by crush-onastick 24 March | 12:37
I'll be the "Grumpy Old Man" from Saturday Night Live. "And we LIKED it!"
posted by Melismata 24 March | 12:40
Slots not yet filled:

Gossip Grrrl, the all-mefites version - Members: who's dating whom, who's breaking/broken up, who got into a fight with whom on the blue &/or gray, guessing AskMe anonymous identities

Mefi Cops follows the mefi detective brigade as they out astroturfers, SEO scum, and dudes using AskMe to help them sell boxes of rocks (as opposed to laptops) via EBay

Savage Favorite takes a frank approach to the masturbatory and orgasmic realities of metafilter "favorites". No holds barred.

Mefi Prison Break tracks down escapees from the Big Blue, and tells their desperate stories of absconding from the big house.

Member in the Middle is the bittersweet tale of a user number too high to be an early adapter, too low to be just a $5 dollar noob, and way too smart for his own good.

Metafilter's Next Top Poster tracks the fierce, sometimes heartbreaking, often humiliating competition between the beautiful users to become Mefi's most favorited/referenced member.

...

okay, I had more, but now I forget. Maybe I'll be back...
posted by taz 24 March | 12:45
I want to host a reality tv appreciation show. Kind of like a more sympathetic version of The Soup, where I show clips of the reality shows I watch and then talk about who my favorite people are and why the ones I don't like should be eliminated.

I also have always wanted to host a Swearing-While-Cooking show where I try to make really hard complicated dishes from various ethnic cuisines and swear a lot while doing it and messing it up. This one I think really has potential, call me if you're interested, tv folk!
posted by rmless2 24 March | 12:45
I would host the Mefite Tool Academy.
posted by msali 24 March | 12:47
I'll also procure "interns" for a fee.


Fixed that for ya, Hugh.
posted by trinity8-director 24 March | 12:53
I was under the impression that all interns were "interns."
posted by Hugh Janus 24 March | 13:02
Where's Meatbomb? He must have a show. :)

I want to be Fucko the Clown. I'll do chat shows, variety shows, special guest appearances, whatever... Anything is better with obscenity and vomit!
posted by Meatbomb 24 March | 13:13
We should also do a Saturday morning cartoon in which Mathowie appears in tights and a cape with an M on the front of his chest and the rest of use appear as literal interpretations of our username, i.e., a bomb made out of meat, a ceiling cat, etc.
posted by Orange Swan 24 March | 13:17
The Mefi Springer show.
Featuring only one guest. Her name is figflowers*

* changed to protect identity.
posted by special-k 24 March | 13:33
You know, now that I think about it, there would be room for a travel show. Instead of enticing people to see a wonderful new place my show would be "I'll go to these destinations so you don't have to".

It will be boring, ugly, or otherwise non-noteworthy destinations. The first episode will cover Detroit and Tacoma.
posted by trinity8-director 24 March | 13:40
The first episode will cover Detroit and Tacoma.

And to add even more: shot entirely within a budget hotel room, while the host surfs the Internet and comments on the quality of connectivity. Some cursory looks at local "things to see" pages of local attractions based on a quick Google search, each rejected in turn as overly mundane and not worth the effort.
posted by Meatbomb 24 March | 13:44
oh ha ha, i'm totally watching rmless's shows.
posted by eatdonuts 24 March | 13:52
I want to be a guest on the craft show.
I also want to do a martha stewart style show where I cook, make things, have guests. If martha stewart wore corsets every day and drank excessively.
posted by kellydamnit 24 March | 13:58
I want to host/participate in a political roundtable/Monday night wrestling program.
posted by Eideteker 24 March | 14:21
I'll be a viewer and I'll press the green button for favorites, and the red for flagging and call-outs.
posted by marsha56 24 March | 14:25
Dibs on zany, Metafilter-related Whose Line-style show.
posted by Lipstick Thespian 24 March | 14:57
I wouldn't mind hosting some kind of lyric-quiz game show.
posted by box 24 March | 17:56
I could do a extreme kitchen makeover series. Complete with destructo demolition segments. No chainsaws, tho.

And LMAO @ danostupostar!
posted by chewatadistance 24 March | 20:03
Ohhh, I can have Fucko the Clown on to circumcise cats showcasing msali's tools!
posted by deborah 24 March | 22:55
LOLcats Live!
posted by desjardins 24 March | 23:12
People, people, I've been waiting for all of your submissions. Where have you been? Get off your duffs and MAKE some of this, and I'll gladly post it.
posted by not_on_display 24 March | 23:33
Gossip Grrrl, the all-mefites version - Members: who's dating whom, who's breaking/broken up, who got into a fight with whom on the blue &/or gray, guessing AskMe anonymous identities

That's the one I want to host.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 25 March | 01:39
What about "Can I eat this?" - a reality tv show where we show people actually eating the things posted in the "can I eat this" threads??
posted by jonathanstrange 25 March | 07:25
If gaspode's metatalk show doesn't include people beating each other up, gladiators style, with padded sticks and suchlike, then I'm going for that job.

Also the Broadsword and Pit Variety Hour.

Ooh ooh, and the Pepsi Blue Shopping Channel, where I get to invite guests on, and they walk on set, pull their product out of a box, and before they can say anything, they get hit on the head with a huge (ban) hammer. That'd never get old.
posted by pompomtom 26 March | 18:15
← These are the best bands I caught at SXSW this year... || I saw a lone cherry blossom. →

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