Father Guido Sarducci. "you have to pay for your sins... Masturbation is 35 cents (it doesn't seem like much, but it adds up)". I remember him from Saturday Night Live but apparently he was part of Laugh In and the Smothers Brothers Hour. He also worked for Leo Burnett and was the author of the Lazlo Toth letters and at some point was a producer of SCTV. He wrote a never produced script with John Belushi. →[More:]

I have no idea how my mind works but I went searching for Father Sarducci because I was out for a walk today and while passing a church I thought of a welfare funding manager I ran into when I was out at a bar with friends when I was 28 or 29 years old. When I heard his name something clicked and I said "hey you used to be Father _____ at St. _____'s parish. I remember you!" He looked pained and asked "so what did they tell you about me?"

He had been one of the six or seven priests at my parish. He also left the priesthood after a few years and then came out as one of the first openly gay men I can remember in our town. Most of the others just left for greener pastures. I've been told he was part of a couple that was among the first same sex couples to be married in Canada.

I told him that my strongest memory of him was the new years eve before I would turn fourteen years old. I was awakened late that night by a commotion on the front lawn. I looked out to see Father ____, Father ____, Father ____, and my own father, drunk as could be, making snow angels on the lawn. My mom had died that year and that incident just seemed to be a sign that I would live through this.

Sometimes it's good to Irish and Catholic.