Dead Critter Update →[More:]I ventured into the Heart of Darkness with my trusted guide, Wanzi, in search of the Beast of Death which was haunting these parts with it's foul emanations.

With trepidation I entered the sub-Saharan crawl space, facing strange and mysterious creatures while heightened senses kept my nerves on the razor's edge.

And while the stench of the Beast was everywhere, the monster itself was not to be found. Even though I consider myself quite the explorer this animal had bested me. It was time for a professional.

And lo! After 90 minutes of painstaking professional-pest-control effort, the source of the Odor of Death remains a mystery. The only hope in all of this is that the places where the animal might have reached that the pro could not were extremely small, so the Little Bastard who had the nerve to die in my house must, indeed, be small.

But, but, but the smell is strongest in the mother-loving kitchen. We are employing every odor-control stratagem known to man for the next several days. And I swear I can still smell it even here at the office.