Demetri Martin: Benjamin Franklin, Shakespeare and Galileo at a TGIF

NH: What film would you bring him?

TAZ: Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure

Darwin, dude, "selection in relation to sex" is wrong, the blending inheritance theory seems intuitivity correct, and people still hang on this this even though the ultimate conclusion is that we all would be hemaphroditic clones of each other by now. You know it as you wrote to Wallace about the perfect mix of Painted Lady and Purple Sweetpeas and the results were perfect but not intermediate. We are a mixture, not a fusion of two individuals. The peacocks tail didn't grow long just because females find it pretty, it's an advertisment for healthy. Your 'pure aesthetic whim in the female brain' ideas still haunts us women so many years later and people actually badger feminists with that crap. Oh, and everyone will pay attention to you no matter how badly they misunderstand the whole concept. Now pass the salt, please.

bloody ace article by the way.

YOU LIAR. YOU BLOODY LIAR. YOU BROKE EVERYTHING! YOU MADE HITLER KILL THE JEWS.

Then I'd give him a wedgie, make comment of his monkey heritage, hammer nails into his feet and set his beard on fire.

Finally, coffee and biscuits and maybe some cheese.

"Pass the salt."

I would discuss the long term effects of abortion on demand, prenatal prediction of gender and genetic disorders, advances in childhood medicine, the imprisonment of 1/3 of one race's males during their childbearing years, and other societal influences.

We talked about cribbage and his crazy mother while we had Italian Wedding soup and biscuits.

What? My step-son's name is Darwin.

I'd ask him all about his travels to the Galapagos, and how he liked sailing on the Beagle, and general travelogue stuff like that.

I'd decline and instead have Lunch with Lincoln.

or breakfast with Brecht.