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21 December 2008

"I'm Jennifer's husband, down the street? I'm locked out. Don't you recognize me?" I'm getting sick of my neighborhood. [More:]Our listserv is FULL of people reporting suspicious activity, and I just got to be the next one. A guy walking around the neighborhood, nice and friendly like, came up to me when I was sitting on the front porch. I asked him a ton of questions, including his name ("Mike Johnson") and his address. ("614") I informed him that there was no 614 on this street, at which time he said that it was actually the cross street. Of course, 614 on that street is about a mile and a half east of here.

I'm beginning to think the cops won't believe me if I keep calling them.
Hey, the good side was that at least the cop was pretty darned cute.
posted by Stewriffic 21 December | 12:18
ah, men in uniform!
posted by By the Grace of God 21 December | 12:24
Officer? I've been veeeery bad.
posted by MonkeyButter 21 December | 12:27
I'm pretty sure that I'd be laughed at by the 911 dispatcher if I called to say that there was a random guy who didn't know his address on my street. Unless there's an actual gun battle going on, the cops aren't going to show.
posted by octothorpe 21 December | 12:33
Yah, our cops are pretty good. Mind you, it wasn't that he didn't know his address. He was lying. This is a racket that's been going on for years, and the police encourage us to call. In the last few weeks alone this very scam has been reported about 5 times. Last year, one neighbor gave a guy like this a ride, at which point he robbed the neighbor at knife point.
posted by Stewriffic 21 December | 12:40
Walking for exercise in your neighborhood is probably not a good idea then, eh?
posted by Ardiril 21 December | 12:45
On the contrary, actually, this neighborhood is really tight-knit, and 95% of the time I feel great about living here. Walking is (feels?) safe, I know someone on at least every block in a 5 block radius, and we look out for one another.

But between the masturbator the other week and this guy, well, I'm getting fed up.
posted by Stewriffic 21 December | 12:49
Our cops are generally as good as they can be but they're underfunded and overworked. Even getting your car broken into doesn't warrant a housecall, they just call you back and give you the case number to give to your insurance company. Hopefully your police can stop this stuff before someone gets hurt.
posted by octothorpe 21 December | 12:52
Stewriffic, what was the guy trying to do, get inside your house?
posted by grouse 21 December | 12:54
So, you're not looking in that same neighborhood for your house? And you totally will not be a pain in the ass client. I know what you drink! LOL
posted by chewatadistance 21 December | 12:58
Here's the scam, as reported by our neighborhood cop-saint last May.

I’m Locked out! Can I get a buck?
Oh yeah! I’m sure that more than one of you has heard this story lately. It’s seems that it’s time for it once again as the low life’s are making their rounds. They prey on our being good people and our trying to help out our fellow man, but with a little bit of knowledge and know how…we can keep our money and send em' packing! Now, it pretty much works like this…”Hi, my name is Tom and I’m new to the neighborhood, I live a few houses down…near Jen’s. You’ve probably seen my wife and me, she’s a “insert a race opposite of his and the same as yours here” lady. My wife is at work…and I’m really embarrassed to say it, but I’ve locked my keys out of my house. I’ve tried to get in but cant and I really would appreciate it if you can loan me $40 for a locksmith. Can you help me out?


This guy didn't get to the part about money for a locksmith. I didn't let him, because I kept telling him that he didn't live here.
posted by Stewriffic 21 December | 13:03
Oh, I didn't mean unsafe but having to worry about someone calling the cops on you.
posted by Ardiril 21 December | 13:12
You have a neighborhood listserv? My neighborhood wouldn't even know what that is!
posted by WolfDaddy 21 December | 13:14
Unfortunately I've developed a distrust of just about everything. So I seem to begin with "this is a scam of some sort" and work backwards from there. I'll help out someone in trouble or need of help, but not before being comfortable with the legitimacy of their story. If they're too stern on driving the exact aid given, I'd be suspect. In the instance above I'd probably offer to call the locksmith for them and see if they still demand forty bucks and said they'd take care of it themselves. If what they actually needed was to get into their house that would help them, but not if they just wanted forty bucks.

I had a guy stop me at the train station a few years ago saying he lost his wallet and was hoping I could help with eight bucks for a train back home. I offered to take him inside with me and show him how to get a "commuter in distress pass" but he told me he couldn't go inside yet because he was waiting for someone outside. I wished him luck and started walking away when he told me "Don't be an asshole - help me get home to my family." I'm pretty sure that I wasn't the asshole in this scenario.
posted by Slack-a-gogo 21 December | 13:29
Yah, WolfDaddy. Most of the neighborhoods around here have listservs and active neighborhood associations (*not* HOAs). I live within spitting distance of a major, well-renowned private research university. The neighborhood is about 1/2 renters of the grad-student or young professional types, and about 1/2 homeowners. Among all the different neighborhoods around here, mine is especiallly community-oriented. We have block parties in the summers, first thursday happy hours, and later today is the holiday potluck. Then people will be going to watch another neighbor play live music at (whereelse?) a neighborhood venue.

Ardiril--nah, the only people I've called the cops on have either masturbated to me or fed me a well-known scam line.

chewie--if the right house comes up for sale in this neighborhood, I'll jump on it. Despite the downsides, I really like it here.

And on preview--I'm definitely wary, but it's tempered by knowing who almost everyone on my street is. The last time I was at first slightly freaked it was a young man who had lost his doggie. Talking to him for a minute, I figured out pretty quickly that he was on the up-and-up. It's a decent balance.

(I'm realizing that I sound like I'm the neighborhood busy body here. It's just that I love my front porch and a lot of people walk around.)
posted by Stewriffic 21 December | 13:40
...first thursday happy hours...

Are you kidding me!?!?! How freaking cool! I thought that kind of stuff in neighborhoods went out in the late 50s/early 60's. I know my parents neighborhood did something similar, but that was the last I'd heard of such a thing.

I'm envious that you seem to live an actual community, as opposed to a group of houses on the same street. I have a "driveway relationship" with a few neighbors, but nothing much past that.
posted by Slack-a-gogo 21 December | 17:59
fair enough, stew. we'll getcha a nice magnetic knife holder for super easy access to the big sharp ones.
posted by chewatadistance 21 December | 18:10
The neighborhood is about 1/2 renters of the grad-student or young professional types

These scammers seem to be targeting this demographic, based on their presumption that such people will be open, liberal and trusting, eager to help out someone who seems to be down on his luck.
posted by jason's_planet 21 December | 18:23
Yup. Awesome community here, which is why it's worth the occasional creepy happenings. I just got back from the holiday potluck, and I was met with a bunch introductions that went along the lines of "Oh, so YOU'RE Stewie McStewerson! What do you do to attract such weirdos?"
posted by Stewriffic 21 December | 18:27
These scammers seem to be targeting this demographic, based on their presumption that such people will be open, liberal and trusting, eager to help out someone who seems to be down on his luck


Bingo.
posted by Stewriffic 21 December | 18:27
Take his picture with a cell-phone cam & post it in the neighborhood?
Talk to city council about better enforcement.

It's awful to feel besieged in your neighborhood.
posted by theora55 21 December | 19:00
I know the scammers, too. My shop used to be right downtown, a couple blocks from the local informal "pickup day-laborers" spot, and a homeless shelter. Guys would walk through the back door all the time with sob stories. The usual was "I just got out of jail and need enough money for the Greyhound bus back to Dallas." I got suckered one time, then two hours later saw the guy walking out of the bar across the street. I yelled at him. He skeedaddled.

That's not the point of this laboriously long missive, however. The one I wanted to get to was the time (probably guy-through-the-back-door-number-fifty) this guy came in, breathless and smelling of auto grease, like he'd been under the hood. His sob story -- "Man, my truck broke down, just down the street, I don't get paid until Friday, and we had just enough for gas to get us through until then. My wife & kid are sitting in the truck, and I need sixteen more dollars to get the part I need to fix the truck and get to home in Round Rock." (about 20 miles). My first reaction was (internally) "Yeah, right, buddy. You and that army of winos." But for some reason, rather than hollering at him to get out like I had the previous several since being taken by Bus Guy, I said "hang on a sec," stopped the press, and looked in my pocket. I had exactly sixteen dollars in cash. I took it to be some kind of sign, told the guy so, as I hadn't given anyone money in a year, despite being besieged as I was in a wino-heavy area, but that I was going to take a chance on him. He thanked me profusely, and ran out the door.

After he'd been gone a minute or two, I thought to myself (To whom else would I have been thinking? Riddle me that.) "Self, you've been duped again. For your last sixteen bucks. You're such a tool." I sighed heavily, and got back to work. I worked late on into the evening a lot those days, and I didn't give broken-truck-with-family-guy another thought, ever.

Three days later, he came back thorough my back door, with a big smile on his face, and said "Man, you saved my LIFE the other night Thank you SO MUCH!" and he handed me back my sixteen dollars, and made his exit.

Most likely,you're being scammed, but you just never really know.
posted by Devils Rancher 21 December | 21:36
Bargain! OMG! || Fatherly advice.

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