I had a kitten once who, whenever I was home alone and on the toilet with the door open, would watch me with one eye only. I used to test him - if I moved out of sight, he'd move so that the one eye could still see me, and if I moved the otherway so I could see all of him, he'd quickly run so that only one eye was watching again.

Hehe.

I confess to being a bed nazi. The sheets *must* be on the bed the right way around. That is, the pattern must always be against the sleeper and the big edge of the sheet must always be at the top. The bottom sheet must be pulled drum-tight. Blankets must be aligned perfectly so that each side has the same amount of drop and so that they only come up to my chin when pulled up.

I have turfed the husband out of bed and remade it if he's put them on *wrong*.

I am also obsessive about the sheets.

I am most obsessive about clear pathways - if my husband leaves something on the floor in the bedroom, I freak. Closet doors must be closed.

I must circle the block 3 times before entering a building. All of my napkins must be folded in three sheets and I have to live at an address that's divisible by 3. No wait. that's not me.

if it makes you feel any better, i don't wanna watch you going potty either.

I confess to being a bed nazi. The sheets *must* be on the bed the right way around. That is, the pattern must always be against the sleeper and the big edge of the sheet must always be at the top. The bottom sheet must be pulled drum-tight. Blankets must be aligned perfectly so that each side has the same amount of drop and so that they only come up to my chin when pulled up.
You sure we aren't related? Hospital corners, too, I assume (otherwise a bed isn't really made).

Bathroom: My husband has electronics books in the bathroom and they're all Greek to me, even though they're in English, so a few months ago my attention was caught by a particular section heading, "Aerial Coupling", which gave me a lot of fun imaginary visuals. The next day, I again scanned the pages the book was open to (different pages) and again found something amusing and/or thought provoking when taken out of the electronics context...

So every morning now, I use it as a sort of I Ching, or meditation koan (despite the fact that I don't actually meditate), scanning the open page to find the heading or headings that constitute my daily message. Today the book was closed (drat!), but recent ones have been "Active Pull-Up" and "Logic Identities".

One of my all-time favorites was "Johnson Noise".

I can't open the book or turn the pages myself; it has to be left open to wherever V. was reading, and he knows nothing about this ritual. I think if I tell him, it will ruin the magic. :)

(Also Sky doesn't want to see us when we are on the potty; she comes trotting in, takes a look, then goes just to the other side of the door, which is usually half open, and lays down half in the bathroom, half in the hall, but facing the hall so she doesn't see us. If I'm just putting on makeup (whoah!!! signal we might be going out OMG OMG OMG!), brushing teeth or whatever she comes right in and tries to hurry me along - but actual business is private as far as she is concerned.)

One of our cats loves to sit in the sink when we are in the bathroom. She's stealthy too so I've almost spit on her when I'm brushing my teach after she jumped into the sink when I wasn't looking.

Our youngest cat will pee every time my wife does, since one of the litterboxes is in the bathroom.

She (the cat) will not go in there when I am using the commode, but when my wife does, the cat needs to show a sisterly bond and pee also.

We have all sorts of reading material in a basket, including old New Yorkers, a Bloom County book or two, and a book of Buffy quotes.

I had a knitting magazine in the bathroom for awhile. The back cover had a cute, chubby, blond-haired boy in an Aran sweater, running through a park or something. MuddDude swears that the kid looks exactly like any future munchkins we may have (he's got a point - it sort of looks like a cross between Toddler Me and Toddler Him).

Anyway, he swears that magazine mysteriously turns over so the boy is facing MuddDude when he pees. Creepy little toddler eyes staring at him. I don't have the guts to tell him I turned the magazine back over whenever he left the bathroom :)

Shoes must be lain as they would sit on feet. No crossing, no flipping. You are just asking to have you ankle twist.

I never step on cracks, and endeavor to have my feet step over them one after the other.

I don't use "to be" like most people. Pie pointed this out. I'll say "This pot needs washed," rather than "This pot needs to be washed".

That last one is a regional thing isn't it, sakura?

It may very well be. Though pie and I both grew up in the Mid-West and now live in OR. Might also be a class thing. (That's not a put-down, we just grew up at different socio-economic and educational levels.)

I have one: I always lock the doors in any car I'm riding in, and now that all cars have those "power locks" that lock all the doors at the same time, it sometimes ends up annoying my fellow passengers.

I know where this comes from, though... the little town I grew up in had a mentally ill man who lived near the town square, who was called O.C. He would sometimes wait until cars were stopped at the stoplights there on the square, then get in the passenger side of your car and demand a quarter.

When I was sixteen and a brand new driver, I'd never heard of O.C., but I happened to drive across the square on one of my very first solo drives, and damn if he didn't climb into the passenger seat of my '71 Corolla, demanding his 25 cents.

It flipped me the hell out. I was still getting used to the idea of driving, and to the idea of driving without my parents around, and suddenly there's a stranger INSIDE my car, demanding, "GIMME A QUARTER!"

To this day I always feel like someone's about to step off the curb and jump in my car, so I instinctively lock the doors as soon as I get in.

I can't bear to have any of the covers facing me and always turn them around.

I do this, but with my partner's comics. That's right: I can't have superheroes stare at me on the toilet.

If a book is particularly scary and has a cover illustration, when I stop reading and get ready for sleep, I'll flip it over so the cover is facedown... so the scariness can't get out and, y'know, get me. If the cover illustration also adorns the spine, I'll put it facedown and spine facing away from the bed. So it can't see me, I guess.

Shut up.

We're non-tuckers, so hospital corners don't apply. But the topsheet and blankets should be oriented properly with the top at the head of the bed.