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24 November 2008

grrr, life's little disappointments... →[More:]

I just opened a jar of sandwich slice pickles (which I rarely buy but was craving) to make a sandwich and discovered to my very disgusted chagrin that they're GODDAMN BREAD AND BUTTER PICKLES.

I HATE BREAD AND BUTTER PICKLES!!! L:-(

hrmpf.

so, um, wtf am I gonna do with a jar of bread and butter pickles, dare I ask?
post by: lonefrontranger at: 22:50 | 49 comments
They're the sweet ones, yeah?

Bleurgh!

Dill pickles I can eat by the jarful. And I do.
posted by jonathanstrange 24 November | 22:53
yes, jonathanstrange. why ANYONE would put sweet pickles on sandwiches is entirely beyond me. I, too, can eat dill pickles by the jarful. These are the expensive refrigerated kind, too.

I AM FAIL!
posted by lonefrontranger 24 November | 22:55
OH NOES!!

Maybe you can make them into an installation art piece somewhere?
posted by jonathanstrange 24 November | 22:56
right. or take them down to the railyard and photog. them next to some grafitto'd up old boxcar. BECAUSE ITS ART, or something...
posted by lonefrontranger 24 November | 23:00
or lay them lined up on the tracks and photograph them, before and after the train runs over them.
posted by danf 24 November | 23:02
danf, you may be onto something!
posted by lonefrontranger 24 November | 23:03
Ugh, those things don't deserve the name 'pickle'. Put 'em on a platter for Thanksgiving and toss what's left.
posted by Ardiril 24 November | 23:04
Shit, lonefrontranger. I know how you feel. You look forward to something and discover that it's not there. It's sort of like when I'm craving a Diet Coke and there is no Diet Coke in the fridge and my nerves go on edge and I slam the fridge shut like a pouting child.

I like a bread and butter pickle. A restaurant I go to serves a sandwich with a bread and butter pickle and it is yum. I can't think of the sandwich at the moment. It's not Chick-Fil-A. Now I'll try to remember this sandwich all night.



My sharp husband knew what I was talking about! It's Cracker Barrel's chicken tenderloin (haha, chicken tenderloin?) sandwich on sourdough!
posted by LoriFLA 24 November | 23:06
Lori, look out I might mail 'em to ya.
posted by lonefrontranger 24 November | 23:09
*sigh* I shall pout (and eat sour cream and green onion potato chips) instead.

I do like Ardiril's idea of taking them to Turkey Day. Some of the mister's weird relatives are bound to enjoy these things.
posted by lonefrontranger 24 November | 23:15
Do it, LFR! I'll make many chicken tenderloin sandwiches on sourdough, line them on railroad tracks, take a pic, and then eat them. Or, feed them to hobos.
posted by LoriFLA 24 November | 23:15
I do like Ardiril's idea of taking them to Turkey Day. Some of the mister's weird relatives are bound to enjoy these things.

Yes! A relish tray! Don't forget the pearl onions, gherkins and olives. :-)
posted by LoriFLA 24 November | 23:18
I like bread and butter pickles. And super-sour pickles. Any sort of pickles. Oh, I miss the pickled onions that you can get in New Zealand (and the UK, I guess). Mmm pickles, sharp cheddar, soprasetta on warm bread.
posted by gaspode 24 November | 23:18
dammit gaspode, I even have sharp cheddar here. but no pickles worth eating.

argh. and these potato chips are nowhere near as good as I'd anticipated.
posted by lonefrontranger 24 November | 23:22
I always loved this clip from Kath and Kim.

Maybe you could serve the pickles like this at Thanksgiving?

(on preview: gaspode, pickled onions are the BOMB.)
posted by jonathanstrange 24 November | 23:23
I hate pickles.

Once I got called to do a focus group on pickles. $60 for an hour and a half. I said yes. What could be easier?

I've eaten one pickle intentionally, and a couple more accidentally. I find the very taste of them abhorrent. But I wanted the money. I figured I could bluff my way through it.

I showed up and found myself seated at a table with seven other women. For the first 45 minutes we discussed our favourite kinds of pickles, what brands we like, where we buy them... all our feelings about pickles and the role they play in our lives, their part in the human condition.

I worried my glaring lack of knowledge of pickle cut, size, configuration and flavouring was obvious. I vaguely described pickles that were sliced vertically into quarters as my favourite. I vaguely remembered spotting such a thing at the grocery store in the past.

For the last 45 minutes, we were shown some television commercials and asked our opinion on them. We were asked, were this brand of pickles a person, what kind of person would he be? Who would a Vlasic pickle be? I described him wearing a plaid shirt and a bowtie.

On the way out we were handed our booty -- $60 in cash in a plain white envelope.

I haven't eaten a pickle since, and I don't plan to.
posted by loiseau 24 November | 23:38
Lori, if you make those sandwiches, make sure to put ample cheddar cheese on.

pickled onions... the old-timey grocer out in the sticks in Ohio when I was little used to have jars of pickled onions, pickled eggs, and pickled pigs' feet on the top of the deli cases... along with various jars of penny candy, medicine jars, cookies, and many many jars of god-only-knows what, not to mention a real live apothecary at the back. good times.
posted by lonefrontranger 24 November | 23:40
Damn you all, now I want cheese. Especially since I was just describing welsh rarebit to BOP before I came up here. And now this. *shakes fist* It's too much, I tell you. I also want good pickles. I'm with you on the bread & butter hate. Actually, I'm very picky when it comes to pickles but I won't buy a jar of my favourites (Claussen's with garlic, in case anyone's asking) until we've finished the humungously large jar of tasty-but-not-flawless-and-too-small-for-a-sandwich ones sitting in the fridge. Which is taking forever because they're not, y'know, the perfect pickle.
posted by elizard 25 November | 00:39
Ugh I hate bread and butter pickles. My dad used to always buy them when he got groceries but I never saw him eat the damn things, ever. Consequently, we'd have like 3 jars of that nastiness in the fridge at all times. Man I hated that.
posted by puke & cry 25 November | 01:21
Bread and butter pickles? What on earth are they?
posted by chrismear 25 November | 05:08
I was wondering, too, chrismear. I don't think I've ever seen bread and butter pickles. Is that what it says on the label?

loiseau that is a serious sacrifice for $60 LOL
posted by chewatadistance 25 November | 08:47
gross, chrismear, they are gross. they're "sweet-and-sour" but mainly just disgusting.

especially when you're expecting to bite into a nice garlic kosher.
posted by lonefrontranger 25 November | 08:49
I like 'em.
posted by danostuporstar 25 November | 08:52
I'm glad I'm not the only one who doesn't know what they are. I'll try just about anything pickled, though, so I may have to look for some.

I used to have a friend who was Iranian, and her mom would break out some 11 to 15 year old torsi on special occasions. It doesn't look like much, and when you first taste it you think you're going to die from the tartness, but then you realize it is pure pickled heaven.
posted by BoringPostcards 25 November | 09:34
I like bread and butter pickles (I've always thought of them as a Southern thing, but I have no idea), but I can certainly imagine that when it's not the flavor you were expecting, it would be disgusting. Like when you like your coffee without sugar, and you accidentally take a sip from someone else's cup and they've loaded it up with sugar. You can barely swallow it, if you even manage to instead of just spitting it out all over the floor instead. And then you think, "hell, there's really nothing all that horrifying or disgusting about sugar or a sweet taste, so why did I react like that?"

It's the shock.
posted by taz 25 November | 09:39
BoPo & Chewie, you must have had them. They are just. . .sweet sliced pickles. A favorite of home picklers. Yes, you can get them in the grocery store, but they are one of those things that taste different/better home made.
posted by rainbaby 25 November | 10:04
sweet sliced pickles

Ah, okay, I've had those. Good with tangy barbecue.
posted by BoringPostcards 25 November | 10:15
I like both sweet and dill pickles fine. I have discovered however that I do not like hot pepper jelly.
posted by DarkForest 25 November | 10:17
Like when you like your coffee without sugar, and you accidentally take a sip from someone else's cup and they've loaded it up with sugar.

Or like when you do what I did today, and forget that you already put sugar in your tea because you haven't had any tea yet so you're not awake and so you put more sugar in and now the first cup of tea tastes more like milky syrup. Okay, that's not quite the same, but it just happened so I'm sharing it with you. Speaking of life's little disappointments.

And it's a good thing some of you like them. Someone's got to eat them, and keep the bread & butter pickle-makers employed, and the bread & butter pickle-makers' children fed and roofs over the bread & butter pickle makers' families' heads.
posted by elizard 25 November | 11:16
So, would you say that the people who like bread & butter pickles are the bread & butter pickle makers' bread & butter?
posted by Atom Eyes 25 November | 11:41
You know what, they don't even HAVE decent kosher pickles in this country. They have GHERKINS. and they are SWEET. What I wouldn't give for an actual New York kosher pickle, either extra hot or garlic.
posted by By the Grace of God 25 November | 11:54
Good with tangy barbecue.

thanks for the tip BoPo, I shall have to try that. There is a RAWKIN bbq joint up the way that I adore. On Sundays they even have a big drum roaster going out back smoking up the neighbourhood. I dunno how they get away with that seeing as it's a completely residential area, but, well, it IS the ghetto.

loiseau: best. pickle story. EVAR.

taz: yea, it's partly that, partly that I'm just not-a-sweet-things kinda gal. I don't particularly care for sweet slaw, sweet dressings or sweet bbq sauces, ketchup, sweet pickles, marshmallows, sweet-n-sour chinese, or many, many other things that figure prominently in the midwestern white trash arsenal. Now don't get me wrong, I LURVES me some good ol' white trash comfort food: "mashed" potatoes-inna-box with cheap brown jar gravy, sausage rolls, corn dogs, chili fries, mac-n-cheese, tuna casserole, etcetera younameit. I just don't like the sweet element.

the relish tray is a smashing idea. that, or a metric shit tonne of tuna salad...
posted by lonefrontranger 25 November | 11:55
BtGoG: ew. you poor, poor dear.

I am going to the deli for lunch this afternoon to cure my pickle angst with a nice fat half-sour from the jar on the case. Only a dollah!
posted by lonefrontranger 25 November | 11:58
So, would you say that the people who like bread & butter pickles are the bread & butter pickle makers' bread & butter?

Precisely! When bread & butter pickle patronage plummets, the bread & butter pickle profession is imperiled and bread & butter picklers' progeny are pained, so ponder purchasing a peck of bread & butter pickles promptly.
posted by taz 25 November | 12:08
I like pickles. Recently, I had occasion to be in the Charlotte airport, where they serve Barbecue. I like barbecue an awful lot. There was a fried item on my plate, which I thought must be some sort of hush puppie. Deep-fried food being generally yummy, I bit right into it. It was a Deep Fried Pickle. My mouth was sooooo not ready for that. The barbecued pork sandwich, with extra barbecue sauce, was delish. The slaw was crunchy and good. I was unable to reconcile the strangeness of the pickle.
posted by theora55 25 November | 12:22
What's with all the hate? Bread and butter pickles are teh yum.
posted by mudpuppie 25 November | 12:26
Oh, and if you want gross, there's this pickle recipe that was faddish in Texas a few years back that was absolutely an abomination against all things pickled.

It started with one of those gallon jugs of crinkle-cut dills -- you know, like the kind you're probably get at McDonald's. Then they added a buttload of sugar and I don't remember what else. You basically ended up with candied dill pickles, but the dill and the vinegar were still very much in attendance. Oh god, were they gross.

Not to mention the fact that part of the charm was that you made a gallon at a time.

*shivers*
posted by mudpuppie 25 November | 12:30
'pups are you thinking of kool-aid pickles? because I remember that fad and it was scary.
posted by lonefrontranger 25 November | 12:38
I like, no, LOVE bread and butter pickles. I like them on sammiches. I like them beside sammiches. I like them by themselves out of the jar. I also like dill pickles, but I LOVE bread and butter pickles. The secret of the delicious Hardee's Six-Dollar burger is not only that it contains 18 million calories but also that it features bread and butter pickles.

Also, deep-fried dill pickles are delicious, but only for the 12 seconds that they are piping hot. After 13 seconds they become congealed salty nastiness. The first time I had them was in 1989 or 1990 at Ezell's Fish Camp in Nanafalia*, Alabama and they were an accompaniment to fried catfish. Awesome. For about four bites. Then, not so much.

In general, I'm pickle-positive. A sandwich without a pickle is a sad sandwich.

Pickled okra, though, is fucking nasty.

*I guess Ezell's is technically in Lavaca, since it's printed on their menu, but everyone knows it's really in Nanafalia. (Pronounced "nan-uh-fuh-LIE-yuh", not "nan-uh-FAIL-yuh")
posted by BitterOldPunk 25 November | 13:01
A sandwich without a pickle is a sad sandwich

on that, at least, my dear BOP, we may agree.

All this pickle chatter hath made me peckish, so I am off on a sammich safari.

*grabs thirty-aught-six, adjusts deerstalker*
posted by lonefrontranger 25 November | 13:39
I'm really happy to see that, except for minor denominational differences, MetaChat is basically pro-pickle.
posted by BoringPostcards 25 November | 14:27
'pups are you thinking of kool-aid pickles? because I remember that fad and it was scary.

Nope, I am talking here about an entirely different pickle fad.

Pickled okra, though, is fucking nasty.

Okay, them's fightin' words.
posted by mudpuppie 25 November | 14:40
I just remembered something: at the original Bunnystock, at mygothlaundry's house, she brought out some homemade pickled green beans that she'd made:
≡ Click to see image ≡

I've never seen any such thing before or since, but damn, they were good.
posted by BoringPostcards 25 November | 14:45
A lot of people are put off by the slimy texture of pickled okra. I however, love all kinds of okra.
posted by puke & cry 25 November | 14:49
Oh yah! We had pickled green beans! Excellent as a bloody mary garnish. And not the only thing pickled that weekend. . .hmmm. . .no wonder we are largely a pro-pickle group? (loiseau, you can fake it for a price and that's better than good enough)
posted by rainbaby 25 November | 14:54
All pickles are good except okra which is horrible no matter what you do with it, even deep fried, although as everyone knows, you can deep fry anything - tennis shoes, old pieces of carpet, tofu, frozen pizza - and it's delicious, except for okra. Perhaps the same goes for the pickling process. I like bread and butter pickles. I like those little sweet gherkin things you get at semi authentique French bistros, which are really bread and butter pickles in a different shape. And I like sour pickles, or I think I do; I can't remember - my son inevitably eats the entire jar within the first 24 hours after it hits the fridge. Pickles are numzers.

Those dilly beans were the bomb; I have to do that again. Maybe next summer I'll have a bumper crop of green beans and get all inspired.
posted by mygothlaundry 25 November | 15:02
All pickles are good except okra which is horrible no matter what you do with it...

DOES NOT COMPUTE

(Aren't you from the south, mgl? Cuz that's some godless yankee agitator talk right there!)
posted by Atom Eyes 25 November | 17:14
Atom Eyes, sounds like she got brainwashed by those goddamn Bawlmer hippies, is what I'd say.

hell even I eat okra and I spent my entire childhood (just a few millimetres) north of the Mason-Dixon line.

I love all you guys so much. This thread is the best ever.
posted by lonefrontranger 25 November | 17:27
I don't think I've ever had okra, but its appearance plus cookbook warnings about what happens when it's cooked are enough to keep my curiosity at bay.

(Plus, the look of them triggers a mild version of the sick feeling from that lotus/breast pic.)
posted by loiseau 25 November | 19:10
← Now this is neat || Clint Eastwood to punks: →

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