I'm a little confused on the backstory, but I'm sorry you're having a rough time.

Sucks. For you, for son, and DIL. Sorry to hear it.

Well better you know early on. .. .

Yes, I don't know the backstory either, but breakups suck so I wish you well. Be kind to yourself.

Not much backstory to tell, I haven't been in the area long and we met soon after I found the cabin to sit for the owner. It started off great but then her daily family life started cropping up in the conversations, and clearly she was usurping her daughter-in-law's role as mother to the kids. Then yesterday she broke our date for the stated reason.

Sure, her kids are grown and moved out of the house, as she said, but then she moved in with her son and now she doesn't want to leave. I will give her a bit more time but also let her know what I think. I don't play secret testing games. That way she can choose her path with full information.

If the relationship's new, maybe just go with the flow. Let her know it bummed you out that she cancelled your date, but try to be understanding? Stay nuetral on her family issues? Let her talk when she wants to, but refrain from judgment? Nod a lot?

Good luck, anyway... If you like her, it seems like a minor bump. Maybe having you in her life will help her let go of her son a bit more. I wouldn't push, though.