I say put the sardines in the vodka, you'll have pickled fish and some sort of Eastern Bloc Misery cocktail infusion.

All you're missing is some tabasco sauce.

I think an Eastern Bloc Misery-themed bar/resto could be a great business idea!

Vodka and sardines seem nordic enough. Trade those beans for some cow.

Vodka and sardines seem nordic enough.

It's a viking martini. a vikitini. Garnish with a speared sardine.

A flaming speared sardine.

Yes, fire poached sardine a la vodka.

Sardine shots - swallow a sardine whole, then chase it with a shot of vodka. It's how my mother in law got through all of her pregnancies. Hand to heaven.

For the record, neither my husband nor his siblings have more than two heads, and they are all healthy as horses and tall and strong as bulls. Might've been the slivovic shots my MIL was taking on the side, but who know, test conditions weren't controlled...

Awesome combination, typewriter. I like sardines, but something about the way they're packaged has given me annoying allergic reactions in the form of rashes in the past. I tend to avoid them now, unfortunately.

Please try the suggested vodka/sardine combos and report back to us. Seconding the suggestion of tabasco.

It's how my mother in law got through all of her pregnancies.

!!!
But if she was preg--
For the record, neither my husband nor his siblings have more than two heads...

Oh, ok. Whew.

Health risks aside, that sounds incredibly badass and like something I want to try.
Except I'm not really a fan of vodka.

sardine on cracker with a splash of mustard
vodka chaser
(my husband loves this)
repeat

cook the kidney beans with some easily accessible 2-day recipe... eat in a lot of different ways
(my husband loves this, too, especially with a pressure cooker)

popcorn... do you really need instructions for popcorn?

A pickled onion may be in order.
And even a cocktail toothpick.

And if you get crackers, might as well get cheese.