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22 October 2008

I just had to kill a black widow and now I'm sad. :(
She would have done the same to you, if she's had the chance.

I overheard her bragging about it when she was drunk, down at the Tangled Web Saloon. Four beers in as many hands, a whiskey chaser in the fifth, and banging on the bar shouting, "I am ta kill that mudpuppie!!" while the bartender nervously poured her a fresh drink, and the poker players in the corner pulled down their cowboy hats and mumbled amongst themselves.

You did what you had to do.

hands mudpuppie her star back
posted by BoringPostcards 22 October | 16:47
Yup, sometimes a mudpuppie's gotta do what a mudpuppie's gotta do.

I've sent a few spiders to their eternal dirt nap myself.
posted by bunnyfire 22 October | 17:00
I don't think I've ever seen a black widow in person, though I've always remembered this profile I read of an entomologist who said that they are common enough that given a half hour, he could find one in any household in America. I guess they naturally tend to stay out of the way.
posted by Miko 22 October | 17:29
Funny thing is, I probably wouldn't have seen it -- I heard it. They make really messy webs. I opened the screen door and heard the distinctive sound of a spider web ripping and thought to myself, "That's *got* to be a black widow." Looked up in the corner of the door frame and yep, sure enough.

If it had been more out of the way, I probably would have let it be. It was right over the doorway, though, so I thought it best to dispatch the problem.

I still feel bad about it. Immediately afterwards, though, my backyard jays came up to me and requested peanuts. After feeding them, I felt that my karma had recovered somewhat.

Still, I apologized to the spider as I was doing the deed. I'm sorry, spider!
posted by mudpuppie 22 October | 17:34
I have seen them in my yard and storage building.

They are rather dramatic looking.
posted by bunnyfire 22 October | 17:49
I have never seen a black widow web. . .

Why couldn't you relocate it? (knowing that doing that would result in its death, or the death of another black widow, most likely. . .). .but just curious
posted by danf 22 October | 17:54
I thought about it, danf, but couldn't really think of a safe place to put it. (Safe for me and the animals, that is.) I didn't want the chickens to have access to it either, because I'm not sure if eating it would be bad for them. I suppose I could have put it in a jar and taken it out into the fields....
posted by mudpuppie 22 October | 17:58
Oh, and their webs -- they don't really have "webs." They just kind of throw a bunch of silk around.

If I were a spider and had to make a web, it'd come out looking like that too.
posted by mudpuppie 22 October | 18:00
Aaargh. I woke up one morning to a black widow hanging out immediately over the pile of clothes I was about to put on. I put my hand out to grab my pants and felt the web crackle. So I went and put on long pants and long sock and socks and shoes over my hands and proceeded to kill the everliving hell out of it. I feel no regret. It was over my PANTS.
posted by Fuzzbean 22 October | 18:58
I have never seen a black widow.

Mudpuppie, that spider was going to spell "Radiant" in her web for you and you killed her before she got the chance!

I hate killing living things, too, but I would have smashed it without a second thought. Or, screamed like a imbecile.
posted by LoriFLA 22 October | 20:02
Well now I'm paranoid about bitey spiders and I have that Barbra Streisand stuck in my head.

The black, black widow is sitting in the middle
of the web, it's the fly she seeks...
posted by jrossi4r 22 October | 20:21
Ok, I don't like spiders. AT ALL. They are horrifying be-legged creatures that make me shiver and shudder uncontrollably.

That being said, I did spend a few minutes looking at a black widow in my garage, once. I was armed with a broom the entire time, in case "Charlotte" decided to make any fast moves. The females are amazingly elegant creatures. I've never seen a male (being the post coital snack and all.) Her glossy blackness and delicate, spindly legs were truly an embodiment of beautiful death.

I felt bad when I swept her out the door, too.
posted by Luminous Phenomena 22 October | 20:35
I hate killing living things, too, but I would have smashed it without a second thought. Or, screamed like a imbecile.

I have it on good authority you CAN do both. ;-)
posted by bunnyfire 22 October | 21:40
I had to kill a brown recluse once. I had a jar on top of it, and I remember I thought for a long time about how to best do it, as in "kindest to the spider"... I don't remember what I ended up doing now, but altogether it was much more stressful than I would have expected.
posted by taz 23 October | 02:17
There are no two ways about brown recluses. Kill that motherfucker dead ASAP.
posted by trondant 23 October | 02:23
Yah, brown recluses are way scarier than black widows. I adhere to the "spiders are good" philosophy, but you can't let them stake a place in or near your environs, you just can't. I'm not zen enough to relocate either. I killed Some Kind Of Honking Scary Spider last month that had staked a calim to the front porch. Can't have that stuff falling on you or your guests coming in and out the door.
posted by rainbaby 23 October | 09:51
I once had a black widow drop down on a web from the inside rim of an urinal in a state park while I was, uh, taking care of business. Right at me. Needless to say, my aim may have suffered a bit for a second, there.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 23 October | 11:34
Judge Judy FTW! || omg bunny