Came home aggro, took a pill.

Hearting seanyboy

1. I am stuffed. I ate too much. At the end of a huge meal my husband says, "I bought some Halloween candy (Butterfinger, Twix, and other yummy stuff) that I need for my meeting, but I bought us a tray of mini Snickers! Yay, Snickers all around! Ugh, I feel ill.

2. I ordered both of Nina Garcia's books. They arrived in the mail today. I think I'll read them and dream about how stylish I will be while husband watches football. (I also ordered Whatever It Takes and a book about being a perfect housewife before these and they haven't shipped yet! Hmm.)

1. -- Did a hundred reps workout today with the kettlebell. Felt good. Recovered very quickly, which makes me wonder if moving up to a heavier weight might be a good idea.

2. -- Registered for Facebook and LinkedIn today, to help with the job search. *crossing fingers*

1. Shuttled my stepdaughter to work. Shuttled my stepson to the doctor. Shuttled my stepdaughter home from work. Really needing one of those "Mom's Taxi" stickers for the minivan.

2. Feeling pretty serene. Mr. V is in Pennsylvania for business, but he's called a couple of times already; the kids are all really good right now (knock wood), and there's ice cream in the fridge. Can't ask for more!

1. I have to cut down my epic trip plans. I've just got too many destinations and not enough time. (Which is sad, because I'm not sure what I'm going to cut out. And it wouldn't be an issue if the Schengen thing wasn't around. Argh.)

2. I've been feeling very grownup and in control of my shit lately. I filled out forms for my FSA without consulting my parents. I'm getting ready to pick my benefits enrollment for next year (without my parents). I gave a medical consult (read: yes you do have a sinus infection. plz go to real doctor now) to a friend of mine over the phone. (She called me Dr. House, which was hilarious.) My credit card is almost completely paid off. Of course, I still need to figure out what is going on with my finger and find a way to get more money. But that's just typical shiz.

1. I want to slap Andre Hall. I don't care if he's twice my size and height. I want to slap him.

2. And I really want to smack around the Bronco defense. Holy hell, TACKLE SOMEBODY! STOP TRYING TO HUG THEM! YOU ARE NOT BARNEY! YOU ARE PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL PLAYERS!

(it might be a long night)

1. Had a terrible bad-moody day yesterday. No special cause. Maybe caffeine.

2. Decided I needed to do some introspection today. Listened to some Elliot Smith and photoshopped a really bad photo of my face, creating a pair of left-side/left-side and right-side/right-side face composites. The left/left one looked like the person I've always wanted to be. I could picture that guy doing all the kinds of things I've wanted to do. Kinda made me think.

1) tore a chunk of my epidermis off in a neat looking triangle on the ball of my left hand. Am struggling with pain, indecision about whether to bandage or not, and overcoming my desire to show everyone. I will try to post pictures later.

2) I've just taken a large-ish dosage of Benadryl, hoping to get to sleep early enough to be rested tomorrow for a long day. It's kicking in. I swear I got out of teaching high school for a reason--I can't be *on* for three 90 minute blocks. How can the kids be?

3) (Because I agree, two isn't enough) My hair still smells of campfire even through two shampoos.

1. Last night, I polished my shoes for the first time in a million years. Now there's shoe polish under my fingernails.

2. I'm listening to the Cathy Rigby version of the musical "Peter Pan". I noticed that they changed the word "Redskin" to "Warrior"; the whole original Mary Martin version was pretty un-P.C. if I recall.

1. I'm so fucking tired that I feel half-drunk. I've felt this way for a couple of weeks now and it's starting to get me down, but I just don't seem to have the energy to care that much.
2. I'm three weeks or so into my new job and I just feel like I am floundering still. I feel like a complete fraud even sitting in that office, although if I could get to sit in there more often, I might get some of the work done that is slowly growing on my desk. I want my old job back, but it's gone so there's nowhere to go but forward :-(

1) I was worried my friend hated my guts but she just sent me a nice fb message and I am like, stupidly relieved.
2) My head is becoming clearer by the minute!

1. Had a great, sweaty work out this morning, so I'm feeling all fit and skinny (pay NO attention to the fat rolls on the tummy kthxbai)

2. Finally recovered from the Saturday Birthday Bash for the Boys. I'm very glad I waited until they asked for it, so they could appreciate it.

1. Saturday was a wash. I spent the day hung over and depressed in a way I haven't been in a long time. I've pretty much shaken it off, but what was bothering me is still bothering me... which is...

2. I emailed a guy I like. This is a guy I have liked since last summer. I mean I fell for him. HARD. And it didn't seem to be going anywhere at all, so over the spring and summer I made a strong effort to forget.forget.forget. And I haven't contacted him in months and felt it was good for me not to pine over him. He was away most of the summer so it was nice. But, he came back. And I saw him at a show on Friday. And I didn't talk to him. And I came home and emailed him. And then I woke up feeling like a jerk.

Now that he's back and I've seen him I'm right back where I started from. And it hurts.

3. I'm at work, I biked in the rain to get here this morning, my belly is grumbling empty, I've been distracted and not wanting to work.

However

4. I have had two cans of Amy's Lentil Soup recently and damn, with a little salt and pepper they are AWESOME. More than I expected from Amy's, which is usually blandness.
Lentil soup is very good for aching autumn hearts.
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1. On my way to Doc for CT scan results

2. Dropping books off at library

1. mmmm. Soup. We need another soup thread. I want inspiration. Soup inspiration.

2. From now on, I will only do work for musicians. They're the best.

Bah! Almost missed this. I blame every time zone that is not my own, although I also hate my current time zone.

1. My jaw seems to have fallen out of alignment. There was no incident, I think I may have slept on it wrong. By biting down on successively smaller pieces of paper, I've gotten it to the point where the teeth on the right side come together gently, and there's only mild pain when I bite down. (As opposed to this morning, when they were inches apart, and any attempt to bring them closer meant intense, shooting pain.) I've ruled out it being a teeth issue, and it seems like my plan is working. If it's not gone in two days, or if anyone speaks up and tells me to go to the doctor because this could be a sign of X, then doctor it is.

2. SO is sick, so I'm taking the dog to class by myself today. He's often more obedient when it's just us, (as opposed to me and SO or just her) so I expect him to be a model student.

1. Bf is texting me for answers from his pub quiz. I'm answering only the ones I know off the top off my head, not googling, but I'm still a bit cranky. I feel there shouldn't be 'phone a friend' at the pub quiz, but he sees it as efficient use of the resources available to him. Harumph.

2. Sore, after hiking and camping in the Lake District for the weekend. But England in autumn is gorgeous, and it was well worth it.

3. (Two isn't enough!). Cooking all evening! Carrot cake to take to work tomorrow, pear and cardamon cake, stewed apples and pears, apple crumble (I have lots of carrots, pears and apples atm, so much I'm thinking about buying a juicer and/ or a cider press - we already bought a dehydrator and there's still too many!), roast potatoes, cauliflower cheese (to use up the milk about to turn) and a big container of steamed veges for lunches for the rest of the week. I meant to make a batch of mushroom (al funghi) sauce but forgot to get cream, so I'm drinking the wine I bought for it and will get more tomorrow (with the cream!).

1. Annoyed with UPS for not telling me there was a problem with the address for my package and me having to find otuby tracking it over and over and call to fix it.
2. Going on a date tonight that I am not too excited about, but I am looking forward to seeing "W."