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07 October 2008

Opinions, please, about this dating article? Seems to be making the rounds, from Cosmo. [More:]It makes the men sound awfully immature, that we women only have a chance with men only if we come along at exactly the right instant. In other words, we have a better chance of being hit by lightning than finding a meaningful, long-lasting relationship with a man? Hmmm. Seems a bit extreme.
A Cosmo article full of sexist stereotypes??? I'm simply stunned.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 07 October | 13:18
um, I don't know that it's tremendously gender-specific. I've dumped guys for several of the stated reasons in that article. flakiness and fear of commitment are not something the dudes have a monopoly on, much as these shallow rags would like to keep us drinking that kool-aid.

also, as per above: yanno, it's a mainstream article that's selling mainstream stereotypes to buy eyeballs. I'm not so sure that's entirely a good thing. I mean, I don't expect objective journalism from that source.

I'm sure it's making the rounds because there are a lot of females out there who would like to buy into the "men are like THIS..." implications, there and feel all warm and fuzzy with the ensuing confirmation bias therein.

y'all who're better at psychology and feminist issues are welcome to disabuse me of these notions, natch.
posted by lonefrontranger 07 October | 13:23
I've never dumped anyone for any other reason than I no longer liked them "that way." I kind of thought that was the only reason anyone ever dumped anyone.
posted by jrossi4r 07 October | 13:34
My opinion is that it is "vague generalities purporting to explain the complexity of human relationships in such a way that applies to every specific situation always which can somehow insulate you from the irrationality, pain, joy and surprise of human interaction in the future".
posted by crush-onastick 07 October | 13:50
There was this phase where every guy i went out with got married right after dating me. i joked that if you wanted to get your friend married i should go out with him. But seriously, it had nothing, or little, to do with me. These weren't "relationships" or serious or even time consuming, and i wasn't, and have never seriously been, interested in being married for the sake of being married. In most cases, they were just ready to get married.
Some guys just want to be married.
And i agree with lfr, it's people who do this.

Maybe men with lots of men friends reinforce certain attitudes and pack mentality behaviors that haven't been written up in Cosmo yet, but i always have to wonder about those guys for whom the telling of an event is part, if not most, of the reason and pleasure of whatever it is they do. That i don't really get. There's a handful of reasons why, but none of them reek of stable mental health.
posted by ethylene 07 October | 13:52
My opinion is that that's a really ugly shirt.
posted by danostuporstar 07 October | 14:05
I don't know how I'd ever get to a point where I'd consider someone who gets dating advice from Cosmopolitan magazine as dating material.

Is that an opinion?

pesky inside voice...
posted by Lipstick Thespian 07 October | 14:06
My opinion is that that's a really ugly shirt.

I was just coming in to say that the men in Cosmo photos always have such clean and well pressed shirts.
posted by Meatbomb 07 October | 14:12
Typical mainstream women's mag pap designed to make us feel like shit and buy the crap advertised to try and soothe our feelings.
posted by brujita 07 October | 14:25
Stop the presses: Some men dump women because they want to play the field and/or aren't ready to get married.

Next month: New Evidence Proves Many People Eat Food When Hungry
posted by The Gooch 07 October | 14:31
Honestly, it is not a horrible article. I read it and agreed with about 65% of it which is pretty good for a Cosmo article. As much as people like to believe they are special snowflakes, generalizations can be a good confidence interval for making educated guesses about people. What this article is really saying is not that men can be immature, it's that guys can have different reasons for getting into a relationship and those reasons, and our expectations and ideas can change - and those impact all relationships. If a guy is going into a relationship and wants something long term or develops a long term/lets get married opinion while in the relationship, then the relationship can move in that direction. If he doesn't have/develop those ideas, the relationship is going to end. Sure, it is a people thing but since Cosmo is targeted to heterosexual women, I wouldn't expect the article to be written any other way.
posted by stynxno 07 October | 15:32
Honestly? I skimmed it and thought "oh grow up".
posted by Specklet 07 October | 15:55
A Cosmo article full of sexist stereotypes??? I'm simply stunned.

LOL

Yes, it's a people thing. People who aren't ready to get into longterm commitments don't do it. People who aren't with the right person when they're ready break up with them. But "You have to date a lot of people before you find a keeper and the timing is right for both of you" doesn't make a splashy cover teaser.
posted by Miko 07 October | 15:57
Whoah... Ultra-Gorgeous Earth From Above photos. || EW's Worst Lines of Movie Dialogue Ever

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