Goddamn! Only One-Half Of My Nose Is Running! →
I'm sitting here at the library, looking for work, and exactly one-half of my nose is running (right half). I keep pawing at the offending nostril like a hobo, and getting up for more Kleenex.
I want to be respected at this library, and not have other patrons see me as a louche bastard off the streets who can't control his holes.
Please invent the best possible cure for this uninostrilar malady.