that I'm 29 and have yet not built a life for myself

That I'm 44 and have not yet built a life for myself.

I'm going to a community college

That my penis is actually an antenna used for monitoring cell phone traffic for the Department of Homeland Security.

Actually, eek, you've admitted that before. (P.S. You're surprisingly easy to get drunk, and most expansive when you get there. Also, we're now officially banned from the entire city of Vegas. I didn't know one could do that, but there ya go.)

I voted for Nader. I'm sorry.

My house. I'm decluttering like mad, but there's still. so. much.

I'm a registered Republican and voted for George W. Bush the first time. I voted for Kerry in 2004. I'm not so embarrassed that I'm a registered Republican. I registered when I was 18. I'm 35 now.

I had to look up the word ennui the other day.

These are not my most embarrassing things.

The tape on my glasses.


I lived in Los Angeles when my brother in Buffalo met his wife to be. She only knew me from school pictures hanging around my parents' house and in a majority of them, my glasses were broken and were being held together with tape, usually white medical tape on black framed glasses. That tape epitomized my nerd persona throughout my school years. I worked hard in college to get past that.

When I went to Buffalo for the wedding and finally met my sis-in-law-to-be, her first words to me were, "So, where's the tape on your glasses?" At that moment, I wanted to die.

Holy CRAP elizard!!! Who woulda thought that little episode with female impersonator Elvis impersonator would cause all that?

Dang, hope my CIA links aren't exposed now too...

So many choices ...

I saw The Lady in the Water a few nights ago and genuinely liked it.

Farting. Seriously.