MetaChat - Does anyone here read Miss Manners?

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27 August 2008

Does anyone here read Miss Manners? Why do people write in so frequently asking how to troll for gifts? Don't they know that she frowns on that sort of thing? Have they ever read the column before?

I guess it is just like people who post on Ask MetaFilter asking what to do about their poorly matched significant other.

post by: grouse at: 09:44 | 15 comments

I love Miss Manners. Love her, love her, love her. I was reading her big guide to etiquette just last night. And now I'm looking at today's column, which I assume prompted this post- ha, yes! "We didn't get a present from his parents. even though they hosted a party for us, how do we get them to give it up?" lulz lulz lulz.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 27 August | 10:08

I love the second letter in today's column...

My husband and I recently went to a very lax after-dinner party where we knew only the host and one other couple. While we were there, the host as well as several other guests kept texting other people.

It seemed that every time I was in the middle of a conversation (at least five different times), the person I was talking with started to text someone from his cellphone.

There are two different people that I've completely quit hanging out with thanks to this issue. It is SO freaking rude and annoying.

posted by BoringPostcards 27 August | 10:20

I think people know somewhere that they're trolling for gifts, but they rationalize somehow in *their* situation it's different, so they plead their case to Ms. Manners to tell them they are the exceptional case (which she never does).

posted by Claudia_SF 27 August | 10:23

I ** LOVE ** Miss Manners.

I have no ideas about the gift trolling thing.

posted by small_ruminant 27 August | 11:25

I love Miss Manners so much I could marry her. She'd probably turn my proposal down in a stunningly erudite way, though.

posted by WolfDaddy 27 August | 11:31

I agree it's beyond tacky to troll for gifts, but geez, those parents must really hate their new daughter in law to not even send a card.

posted by The Gooch 27 August | 11:51

They threw her a party! What more does she expect? The clue about how they're "quite stable financially" suggets to me that a card would not have been enough.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 27 August | 11:56

As much as we snark those AskMe people who need help with a relationship, we should remember that it probably helps them enormously, both to write the question in the first place and to read the answers.

posted by Melismata 27 August | 12:33

I have never seen cards as a big deal, especially if they were there in person for several days. Cards are for people who can't be there in person. Not that I don't like getting cards. :) I am surprised at The Gooch's reaction.

Yes, you are right, Melismata. It is not exactly the same thing.

posted by grouse 27 August | 13:00

Miss Manners rocks. I made mrs chewie go see her when she guest lectured at a woman's college here a couple of years ago. She was great!!

posted by chewatadistance 27 August | 13:02

She'd probably turn my proposal down in a stunningly erudite way, though.

She wouldn't have to! If she weren't inclined to accept, she'd simply say "Oh, how lovely, but I'm afraid it's simply impossible."

If pressed for the reason, she'd smile blandly and reply, "Oh, it's just not possible."

posted by Elsa 27 August | 13:10

I wonder if it's the same reason people send fake letters to Ann Landers (or successors). Or maybe they're actually trolling to get another elegant put-down.

I can safely say that if you don't get Miss Manners, well, you won't get me.

posted by stilicho 27 August | 13:43

Miss Manners is the absolute best!

posted by theora55 27 August | 20:02

She has an amazing sense of humor- that's really what's made me love her so much.

posted by small_ruminant 27 August | 22:32

I saw her several years ago at the 92nd St Y and asked what was I supposed to do when something I was meant to eat with silverware was served with a chip, candy or the like stuck in the middle of it. "Finger food with fingers, fork food with a fork"

posted by brujita 27 August | 22:41

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