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17 August 2008

Fuck weddings. Too bad it's too late to elope. Everything is crazy.

*glad she eloped*
posted by gomichild 17 August | 21:53

Alternately, delegate. of course, this only works if you truly don't care about the outcome. Worked pretty well for me.
posted by muddgirl 17 August | 22:00
It's never too late to elope! Of course, that's one of those things that's easier said than done. :-\ Hope things improve!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 17 August | 22:10
Agreed that it's never to late to elope. And what muddgirl said. Her approach is what I did.
posted by gaspode 17 August | 22:13
How much longer do you have?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 17 August | 22:20
My advice, after getting married in June, is to hang in there. We had similar doubts. It will be SUCH a relief when it's done. My best advice is to keep your sense of humor if at all possible.

posted by lilywing13 18 August | 00:02
Alternatively, if you decide to elope tomorrow, the official part will be done, and you might feel some relief from that. We strongly considered that option, too.

However you decide, congratulations!
Best wishes for your marriage, which is a whole different thing than the wedding.
posted by lilywing13 18 August | 00:04
You know, I didn't even know this was posted here, and I just asked him on a scale of 0 - 10 how strong his desire was to elope, and he said a 7.5. Of the few reasons he doesn't want to elope, and mullacc will appreciate this, one reason is sandwiches -- the delicious gourmet sandwiches that will be at the wedding. They're really good, in his defense.

I've wanted to elope for months. The itch came right after I had the girls order and pay for their bridesmaid dresses. Of course, right? Right when I made other people financially obligated, I wanted out.

To be truthful, that's the main reason I feel trapped in all of this wedding stuff. Because other people have made financial commitments and I'd feel guilty leaving them at the altar. I'd repay as best I could, of course, but...

A dear friend asked me tonight what would make me happiest, and after hardly any thought, I told her that running off to get hitched, then using the money we saved to run off elsewhere for even longer was what appealed to me most.

Twenty-eight Twenty-seven days left.
posted by viachicago 18 August | 00:43
I'd be afraid to face the elopement/sandwiches dilemma, myself.

Look at it this way, though -- eloping beats cold feet. Cold feet after financial commitments, well, that's meant lawsuits.

(When's the hall's back-out date?)
posted by stilicho 18 August | 02:22
Oh honey!

I totally understand, and we didn't even have bridesmaids because my kids walked with me and we got the aloha shirts for the groomsmen (in case I decided to take off running; I told them all to wear comfy shoes) as their gifts.

It's a LOT of pressure, no matter what route you take, but then after it's done... well, it's done.

At the end of ours, we were told it was the most fun wedding ever. What REALLY matters is how you feel about it. It will be just fine, even if everything gets fucked up somehow. No really. As long as the officiant signs off on that piece of paper, it's done. If it's a success for the families, too... BONUS!

If you really want to get married, and by the end of the day that part is accomplished, then you're good.

I'm speaking as a bride who had ice cold feet a month before and cried before I put my makeup on, mostly to get the emotions out of the way on the day. I was grinning my ass off during and afterwards. Here's proof (previously posted):

Yeah, we were casual, but the basic ideas are the same. Married at the end of it all. I hope the relief you feel is like what ours was.

PS to the happy couple,

Planning on eating is a fool's errand until afterwards, from my experience. Between the cookout (I ate token amounts so other folks would dig in and then we had the cake) and the afterparty, we got showered and tried to get a nap. My now husband asked me, "Have you eaten in the last few days?" Well, no, I hadn't. Not really. He didn't know for sure because he hadn't been around due to the bachelor requirements and family obligations. I requested Waffle House of all things (I wanted comfy breakfast food at 6:30pm), and we both totally scarfed down bacon, eggs, and toast so happily. As cheesy as it sounds, that was one of the happiest parts of our wedding day, to me. A comforting meal with my new husband in private before the last part of the festivities.

PSS. Sorry for going on. Hope you have a happy day and I want to see pictures!
posted by lilywing13 18 August | 02:42
Yeah, I know the feeling. Mine is six weeks away and I feel like crawling into a hole. I really don't have that much left to do; it's just the constant (well-intentioned) questions from friends and family that drive me insane. And I never thought there would be so many DECISIONS to make. We had six different options for napkin folds, ffs.

Also, my future mother-in-law is starting to drive me batshitinsane. I had to hound her for weeks for the addresses of his family members, to the point where I thought no one from his side would be able to come. Also, she keeps wanting to invite people that NEITHER of us have ever met. Mr Desjardins says no, we can't afford it, she throws a shitfit and sends him on a guilt trip, he says OK and then she stalls on giving me the addresses so I can't send the invites. WTF?
posted by desjardins 18 August | 08:34
My childhood friend backed out of being a groomsman last night which spurred this whole thing, and just this morning his former best man backed out. I hate weddings.
posted by viachicago 18 August | 09:06
You have an officiant? a license? and 2 witnesses? Everything else is just cake. The goal is to get married, and having friends and family there to witness & share in the ceremony, and celebrate together, is part of it. But the wedding industry has turned it into such a zany event. Stay focused on your priorities, and it will all end well. My ex's best man had his appendix removed 2 days before the wedding, so I commiserate. Good luck.
posted by theora55 18 August | 09:43
Custom boots? || Any francophones around?