That in 50 years they're going to find out that tampons cause cancer.

AND that the tampons makers knew it and hid it from the public.

It's not a theory for long because someone is going to prove it really soon, but I truly believe that there is a hormonal shift in women around the time their biological clock starts ticking that also makes them afraid to fly, afraid of heights, and nauseated on swingsets and other things that used to be fun.

I have empirical evidence from at least 7 people that backs this up.

I believe that all those warnings telling us not to eat fish with high mercury levels is just a conspiracy to keep us from running really fast.

In the late 80s, AIDS was being spread via Richard Marx's debut CD.

The dust that gets under your mobile phone screen: extraterrestrial life-forms, multiplying in incubators we've provided for them!

I suspect that Montana doesn't actually exist. They take pictures of Wyoming and call it Montana. I've never been to Montana, I've never met anyone who's been to Montana, and those who claim to have been to Montana are stooges planted by the Wyoming crowd to convince us all of the reality of Montana.

I also think that sushi causes herpes.

Kenny Rogers and Lionel Richie are the same person. But no one really knows if he's a white guy who sometimes sings in blackface, or if it's the other way around.

I have similar suspicions about Martina Navratilova and Tom Petty.