Bizarre dreams.... →[More:] About marriage, of all things.

I had two really weird dreams about marriage and weddings last night. Or maybe they were the same dream. You know how sometimes you can't tell?

Strange marriage dream #1: I was sitting around in a group of people, and two people away was this person whom I barely knew, but to whom I was engaged. We were giggling because there was a sign nearby announcing the engagement, but no one had seen it and everyone was in the dark, even though we kept dropping hints and making jokes.

Turns out I'd taken some online quiz that tested X-Files knowledge. When it finished and my score was tabulated, the website matched me with this woman (who was supposed to be, I think, the sister of a high school classmate, although in real life that classmate was an only child). So on the basis of that quiz, we decided to get married.

At some point, folks finally figured out that we were engaged and started congratulating us. We said thank you, and I turned to my intended and said, "You know, I probably cheated on that quiz."

She laughed and thought I was kidding.

"No really," I told her, "I hardly ever watched the X-Files. And on online quizzes, I often Google the answers so that I can feel smarter than I really am."

It ended there. I'm not sure what her reaction was, but I suspect I was immediately dumped.

Strange marriage dream #2 (or, possibly, #1B): There was going to be some sort of community-wide gay-marrying event on Saturday. The coordinator of my community garden told me about it. It was going to be shoe-horned in between some lecture series in the morning, and then a slow food potluck in the evening, hosted by arse_hat.

Of course, I had to go.

One of the couples who signed up for the gay marrying was a pair of bearded gay guys. I don't know any bearded gay guys, in person, in real life, but for some reason I was in their wedding. It was scary because we had to stand on very tall dressers [???] up at the altar and I'm afraid of heights.

Anyway, we had the rehearsal for that one, then I went to sit in the audience and wait for the whole thing to start. Scores of people were pouring into the venue. I recognized lots of them -- cousins, high school classmates, Metachat people, etc.

As I was sitting there waiting for my girlfriend to show up, the dream took one of those weird turns where another plot element is added, but was never officially revealed: GF and I were getting married too.

So I'm sitting there waiting, and the crowd is getting bigger and bigger, and she's running a little late, and I'm getting a little antsy. (This is, as you may have guessed, a bit of a real-life issue.)

Iron & Wine showed up to play a song. (And boy, was he FAT! And he had a little tiny head!) He prefaced by saying "I don't normally play at weddings." I thought that was cool because, hey, Iron & Wine was playing at my mass gay wedding!

Anyway, during the song, GF shows up and starts wandering down the aisle looking for me. I wave her over.

Holy. Shit.

She's wearing a clown suit.

She's wearing a big, red, frilly clown dress. Her face is painted like Buttons the Clown from The Greatest Show on Earth (which I watched recently). She's got this big white bonnet on her head.

"Are you seriously wearing that?" I asked her.

"Are you seriously asking?" she replied.

I don't remember much of the rest of the conversation -- just that I insisted that we talk about the fact that everyone was going to laugh at us, and she accused me of being too serious. We had to go talk elsewhere in order to keep from disturbing everyone, so we found an elevator and discussed it in there.

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Anywho. Just wondering how all of this got into my head. We happened across a wedding in a campground in the mountains this week, and were talking about how cool it would be, in a general sense, to have that kind of wedding, so I'm hoping that's it.

(I left out some details that would make all this too easy to over-analyze, like the fact that we ended up stuck in the elevator.)