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02 June 2008

It started out a day like any other for Bernard Van Wormer, and it remained so right up until...
he remembered that, tonight, he had to roll the stinking, plastic garbage, recycling, and compost bins to the curb.
posted by treepour 02 June | 22:01
This meant missing the beginning of the Mah Jong semi-finals on ESPN, but tarsh waits for no one.
posted by bmarkey 02 June | 22:09
At least tonight, the moon was out, so he didn't step on the rake and get racked this time. You lose, neighbor, he thought.
posted by lysdexic 02 June | 22:16
He paused for a moment to admire the reflection of the moon in a puddle on the sidewalk. While he stood there, thinking of other nights long ago, the neighbor's dog ran up and sunk his teeth into the back of Bernard's left calf.
posted by bmarkey 02 June | 22:27
"MOO!" cried the poor little thing, trembling in terror. Bernard knew he had to act, and act fast.
posted by taz 02 June | 22:45
Reaching down with his left hand, he deftly pried open the clamped jaws of the minature schnauzer while keeping his other arm draped reassuringly around the neck of the calf on his right. "Great. Just great", he thought. "The last thing I need tonight is another stampede."
posted by bmarkey 02 June | 22:56
Suddenly, a shot rang out.
posted by dersins 02 June | 23:39
How fortunate, Bernard thought, and drank the still ringing glass of Bourbon.
posted by Doohickie 03 June | 00:13
As he watched the recycling bin roll out into the street, it ocurred to him that he was standing in his driveway with a calf under each arm - where did the whiskey come from?
posted by bmarkey 03 June | 00:29
But then again, sometimes it's not wise to ask such questions. As Berny turned to go back inside,...
posted by Doohickie 03 June | 00:44
and mistakenly stepped into the puddle, spilling his glass of bourbon.


He then found himself tumbling and falling through the puddle into the vortex of another dimension.
posted by mightshould 03 June | 07:26
And then he woke up.
posted by dersins 03 June | 15:42
And the day started just like any other for Bernard Van Wormer, until
posted by rmless2 03 June | 17:43
he remembered it was bulk pick up time, and he had that hulking wreck of a shed to tear down. A shed he hadn't entered in a very, very long time.
posted by redvixen 03 June | 18:47
New 101 goals in 1001 list || I NEED A $#@$%^#@# SHOUTING THREAD!

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