Well, I did manage to accomplish a few things today. I called a few rental agencies, got a key duplicated and in a few minutes I'm going to do laundry. Crises can paralyze me with self-doubt but pride (and a healthy dose of fear) usually rouse me to action.

So shall we do this again, only in 2008 terminology or values?

I have published a few books and become pretty successful.

I have a lovely four-story brownstone in Brooklyn Heights, which has been renovated so that it is both historically accurate and includes all the modern conveniences I need, such as eight bathroom, each with a fantastic bathtub that is a work of art in itself.

My fans are fantastic, my husband and I are expecting, and life is pretty wonderful all around.

Problem is, this other writer named -- well, we'll just call her JKR for anonymity's sake; she was quite famous awhile ago -- won't stop calling my house. It's really inconvenient, because sometimes the she tricks the housekeeper into thinking she's someone I actually want to be friends with, like Tina Fey. And she just goes on and on about her financial woes and how she's got terrible writer's block, and to be perfectly frank, I don't give a shit.

So how do I get this woman to stop bothering me? I already sent her a dead goat's head, but she thought I was trying to help her write more.

From my real life:
Should I dip this demi-baguette in chipotle hummus, or cream-cheese-with-artichoke-and-crab dip? Oh, the indecision.

I've been losing weight at a somewhat-consistent rate for the last six months or so, and I'm getting a lot more attention for it. Which would be great, but all of these people keep favoriting photos of my feet on Flickr! How can I get their IPs from their Flickr profiles so I can send a Cease & Desist to their ISP?

Bunnies, seriously, I need help. I was trying to answer Anniversary Survey #3, and realized that I just can't pick from among all the compliments I get. I tried! Is it just me who gets complimented so constantly and effusively, or do other people also get this? If so, what is your solution?

Also tried to answer Anniversary Survey #2, and so far haven't thought of anything I'm not good at. I'm just full of fail today. Hope?

Man, I've got to buy a whole new wardrobe again! This is like the fourth time in two years. The weight has just dropped off, and I've got to say goodbye to the nicest shirts! Pants I don't care much about, unless they have lots of pockets.

And my love life? Fantastic!


This is the fantasy thread, right?

My life rocks because I have an actual job with benefits, a wonderful and loving girlfriend who hopefully soon will undergo a state-change into a fiancee, and I am getting a kitten in the next few weeks.