My thoughts are with you, middleclasstool.

And your story was a riot! Your grandfather is a true problem-solver: "I GOT A RUBBERBAND ON IT!"

*head skritch*

Thank you for the story; I enjoyed!

Will be praying for your grand pa'

"TURNED IT BLUE!"

Aaaahhh.

That was one of those stories that, from about the third line in, I knew deep down in my gut that I should not continue to read, but I couldn't stop myself.

Good luck to you and Grampa, and Grampa's blue penis. I'm glad he made nice with the family. You are a gifted writer, btw.

*skritchy skritch*

Sending good thoughts and further skritchin's your way. I didn't quite hoark, but then I don't have a dangle, which no doubt makes the whole thing even more excruciating. Thanks for the tale; he's quite the fellow!

And here's a head skritch for you.

≡ Click to see image ≡

In the spirit of sharing, let me add this corollary story:

After Hurricane Katrina hit, everyone in my wife's family lost their homes. For five weeks, I had 22 people living in my three bedroom, one and a half bath, home. In the initial chaos of the first three days of their arrival, I noticed a problem with the bedroom toilet.

The water was only half-filling the bowl. I adjusted it, flushed, and it refilled the whole bowl. Everytime I'd check it, though, the water would not fill the entire toilet. Thinking I had a water pressure problem (dishwasher, showers, and washing machine chugged along near-constantly for the first week), I called a friend who was a plumber, but he couldn't find a problem.

Finally, one night as I got home from work, I remarked out loud that something seemed to be wrong with the bedroom toilet. My brother-in-law sheepishly told me that he'd been adjusting it ever since they got there.

"Well, why?" I asked.

"Uhhhh..."

"Because," shouted my wife's blind, angry, 89 year old grandfather, "my balls keep dipping into your toilet water."

No more was said on the subject.

Holy crap, that's funny.

Thanks for the good wishes and skritches, everyone. I don't have anything solid yet, dad just got to the hospital from out of town so he hasn't had a chance to speak directly to a doctor, but the gist so far sounds like they may have him stabilized. I'll update when I have something firm to go on, but that's all I got for now.

You guys are awesome.

Best thoughts are with your grandpa - and with you and your family.

That is a magnificent story. Am sending good thoughts and skritches your way post haste.

middleclasstool, good thoughts to your grandpa. It might not be as bad as it sounds. He sounds like a riot with his blue penis and all!

That's a great story, middleclasstool. Best thoughts to your grandpa, with the hope that he will be the subject of many more!

Prayers for your grandfather -- and the penis stories made my day!

in a hushed tone: Hang on, now. Do the various bits and wobblies... uh... descend with age?

Sweet mercy.

I'm so sorry, middleclasstool. I hope everything turns out okay. It's wonderful that he's found happiness at last--not to sound flaky, but maybe that will help. Great story, too--both you and ColdChef made me laugh out loud.

*sends head-scritches and whuffles*

That is a brilliant story, middleclasstool, and it sounds like you have an awesome grandfather. I'll be hoping you continue to have him for some time to come!

Looks like we will, thankfully. Dad just called -- he is indeed stable and alert, and Dad got a chance to talk with him. The doctors still don't know what's caused this, so they're going to keep him for tests and observation, but they stopped the bleeding and think he'll be fine. We're still sort of holding our breath until he's released, and we don't know how long that will be, but so far it's sounding like he'll pull through just fine

That's a great story, and a well-written one at that.

I'm sending warm and encouraging thoughts to you and your family. And whuffles. Lots of whuffles.

Glad to hear it, middleclasstool! I hope it continues to look better and better for him!

Glad to hear things look more positive. Good thoughts for grandpa and a head skritch for you.

Oh sweetie I hope everything turns out ok. Big hugs.

Just got another update about half an hour ago. Seems he's still bleeding a bit -- not enough to cause alarm, but the doctors are still trying to pin down what's causing the bleeding. They've taken him off his blood thinner, of course, and have given him something to help with clotting. Dad says he's in good spirits and eager to get it all resolved.

Take care, mct.

*hugs*

He's home from the hospital now, and the bleeding appears to have stopped. They did a colonoscopy and other fun stuff, but I don't think they know for sure what happened. Leading theory is that it was his blood thinner.

My mother was at the store where she works, laying out stock in preparation to open and chatting with the staff, when the phone rang. Answering machine picked it up, and this came over the speaker:

THIS IS JIM. TELL LINDA THAT I JUST HAD A BOWEL MOVEMENT, AND THERE WAS NO BLOOD IN IT.

At that point she sprinted for the phone.