Yeah, I have this too. Not on the same level, since I don't have any real talent to speak of. I can feel like a loser if I forget an umbrella.

The opposite is worse, though, I think - when you encounter a really, really terrible book, like, something so awful, so badly written, worse than The Da Vinci Code, even, that you simply cannot believe that author has been published and you haven't. I know I'm never going to write as well as John Crowley or John Fowles or William Faulkner or any of the others who totally floor and amaze and inspire me, but that's okay, because what I'm doing with my writing is just, well, different than what they do. But oh my god, sometimes the levels of dreck out there blow my mind and bring me down. I know I'm a better writer than the person who wrote this craptacular opus, for one (look, I needed a book on tape for a four hour car trip. The library didn't have much. I didn't know what I was getting into, I swear! Augh, do not ever read this book; it will break your brain) but have I gotten it together and gotten something finished and out there? No. It's particularly hard when good things go out of print and I can't find them and heinous monstrosities (Piers Anthony springs to mind) get reprinted and reprinted.

The amazing this is that Richard Price probably feels the same way about his favorite author!

It's a little different, since I'm not a musician, but in the early 2000's I had a couple of chances to meet Jeff Mangum while hanging out in Athens.

Both times I sort of ducked out and hurried away, mostly because In The Aeroplane Over The Sea is so beautiful to me, it kind of exists outside of space and time. Nice as I'm sure he is, I didn't want to meet the guy who created it and then have the album always remind me of a smoky, beery night at the 40 Watt Club, instead of the dreamy, transcendent images it conjures up in my mind now.

I totally feel you, Run-JMC. I read Quarantine, by Jim Crace and despaired of ever being able to convince another human being of anything using written language.

And Mygothlaundry, you are so right. Dan Brown should be pummelled for his nonsense.

Young Richard Strauss went to see Falstaff and sent a fan boy letter (and one of his scores) to Verdi. Verdi mistook him for Johann Strauss, the walzer guy, and asked his publisher, why does this guy write me?

it's OK jon, we have idols and they might not necessarily react to our admiration. this doesn't make them less great.

oh, and I'm starting Lush Life this coming weekend jon

Three points:

1) When Hendrix was starting out, he had to practice scales, just like Bloomfield.

2) Going from the conversation you had with Price, he's down to Earth, just like you.

3) I am Grimaldi. (rimshot)

The point is, you've got your own voice, and you're honing it, just as the "giants" do. They're only giants, 'cause their names are more visible. Look around the web, and you'll see others that are knocked over by your writing, your stories, and your incredible knowledge of music. As they'll tell you, you just make that look easy!

I totally feel you, Run-JMC. I read Quarantine, by Jim Crace and despaired of ever being able to convince another human being of anything using written language.

Okay, quick sidebar: Is that any better than Being Dead, because that came highly recommended by several people and I just couldn't get why. I mean, I finished it, and at the end, I was questioning why I even started it. Kind of put a bad taste in my mouth for Crace.

Mr. Mc...if, *cough* one were to say hit up their local used bookstore (not in NYC..Dallas, natch, but we have several good ones here) and start out on Richard Price, what would you recommend?

Ladies Man. No question.

Just because I like to drive jon nuts with contrarian Richard Price suggestions, I think that Samaritan and Freedomland are both better books. I'd go for the latter, unless you've already seen the movie version.

When I was in 6th grade, and in my second year playing the alto saxaphone, my oldest brother (9 years my senior) thought he'd encourage me to play jazz by playing some records for me. One was one of the greatest live jazz recordins: John Coltrane's "My Favorite Things". When I listened to it, I ran to my room and cried. My brother, shocked at my reaction followed me and asked me what was wrong, and I said "I'll never be able to play like that." And, that was the best musician I ever was.

I ended up being a pretty decent sax player, but I've always been very immature. I did work hard at my lessons, but I didn't get it. I didn't get what creating the music was all about. I got it when I heard other people play, but I couldn't figure it out for myself. I thought it was all about fast, and avant garde, but that wasn't it at all. I do take solace in the fact I knew greatness at such an early age, but I regret that I couldn't capitalize on that.

The things that John Coltrane had beyond what any normally gifted person had were twofold, and maybe more: he was visionary and genius, and heard things that us ordinary people don't, and he was driven by it. He worked HARD. He was so driven by what was in his brain he played 8 hours a day. That's the difference between the talented, and the truly great. Real visionaries. There are lots of talented people that are lazy since they have their talent to fall back on, but there are a rare few that have the focus, desire, and drive to be truly great. You can name them in just about any discipline from the arts through science, and that to me is the difference.

I'm a late bloomer, and I get things now that I didn't 20 or 30 years ago. There are things I've done that I could have been great at having natural talent, but I just don't have the drive to do. It's only a loss to myself, and perhaps I've wasted some gifts, but I've lived my life as I have, and I can't have any regrets because every decision I've made, I've made completely consciously. The thing that I'm best at is being a dreamer.

Kenny is an asshole!

Of course he is, that's the whole point of the book: Kenny discovering the precise type of asshole he is.

it's OK jon, we have idols and they might not necessarily react to our admiration.

Actually, Price was nothing but cool to me, probably more so than any celeb I've met besides Dick Manitoba or James Ellroy. I'm just saying that meeting him in the flesh makes his talent that much more intimidating.