I don't much like this day.
I asked someone out for like the first time ever a few weeks ago. Which was a major, major, major step past my abject terror of rejection (I think when it's physcially painful and causes you to vomit a lot of goes past fear).
At least not in the romantic sense: I've gone through two - let's be fair and say two-and-a-half - serious relationships at a relatively young age, and after the last one ended I went through this big "been there, done that" phase - not exactly in a jaded way or denying myself any opportunities, at least, I think - but it just hasn't dominated my desires as much for some time.
Now I feel I'm at this point where I can't exactly say the same thing anymore: I'm focusing a lot of my time and attention on other things, things that make me happy, yes - but I can't say I'm not "looking". At the same time, I'm not looking looking, if you catch my drift.
So this is where I should make this serene, poetic statement about whatever crosses my path will cross it, but in reality I'm just kicking myself for never knowing quite what I want.
I have friends and family I care deeply about. I don't feel unloved, and I know I'm not. But today I wish I was spending a bit more time loving.
Happy birthday, Mrs. Pants, happy birthday! I hope your cold gives you the gift of disappearing completely. It's tough to have your birthday on another holiday --- extra birthday cake and wishes for you!
Oh, kellydamnit, that's too bad. It is an experience of abject terror. I kinda like it.
I hope it doesn't discourage you from doing it again sometime. The best guys I've ever dated were ones I asked out, not the ones who asked me.
You're amazing, and you deserve the best. Go find it!
I'm feeling a little lonely today, too. Family all sent e-mails, but it's just not the same thing as a hug in person. And let's not even think about romance! Maybe in the same way as gnfti, that's just not even been on the radar for awhile, either from lack of possibility or desire, I'm not sure.
Thanks for starting this thread, divka. It feels good to get that out.
I've never got a Valentine's in my life, until now that is, and they were all so sweet--each and every one of them. Thank you so much for caring, and like divka, I too would like to send out warm, squishy snuggles to anyone who wants them.