((mediocrity))

(insert mediocre response here)

Eh, it's not so bad.

I really do hear you jonmc, and I agree. I would like to share a little maxim that came to me yesterday:

It's a fine line between self-acceptance and giving up on yourself.

It's a line we all have to find and it's moveable, which is cool.

I embrace my mediocrity constantly. I just try not to get totally comfortable with it, either; I used to be more mediocre at a lot of things that I have since allowe myself to feel small amounts of pressure and frustration about.

Yearning for sainthood is one thing; yearning for degrees of progress is another entirely.

allowe

(One of the things that I have pretty much totally embraced is the idea that I'm going to misspell shit a lot. This is actually progress toward self-acceptance; I used to worry about spelling errors an awful goddam lot.)

I don't even yearn for progress anymore. Achieving stasis is enough work.

It's a fine line between self-acceptance and giving up on yourself.

Is there really? Isn't self-acceptance just looking at yourself, warts and all, and saying 'this is me, I guess,' and just living with it?

The perfect is the enemy of the good.

I think the distinction is between being okay with yourself and being without ambition to change. The two don't have to be congruent, and former's a lot more attractive to me as a goal than the latter.

</jokey response>

I think what you're praising here is subjectivity. I've taken courses on intelligence and I'm pretty sure that while there's an underlying quantity, quantifiable in dendritic connections between neurons, neural plasticity, lateral thinking or whatever; there's the question of how you use it. If you look at Gardner's Theory of Multiple Intelligences, you'll see that it's been hypothesized that someone can be a 'genius' in one way but not in another. And different cultures place value on different intelligences. African-American culture values bodily-kinesthetic (sports/dance) and verbal/linguistic (rap is possibly poetry's largest movement ever) but not so much logical-mathematical. Beauty is also entirely subjective. At least before there was mainstream media, standards of beauty and what different cultures valued as beauty differed.

So yeah, right on. Celebrate the subjective differences between us. I love you all not in spite of your flaws, but because of them. They make you who you are.

But there's also some value in aspiration. What's "better" changes from person to person, culture to culture, and year to year; but the strive for better is what drives humanity. It's what drives evolution. To forsake it entirely is unnatural. But sure, it's possible to get too wrapped up in it. That's why we have you, jon, to periodically post your thoughts on the matter and to keep our feet on the ground.

You can strive to be better without inducing a coronary. It's smiling on the subway, holding a door. It's nice to found a multinational corporation, or to win an Oscar/Pulitzer, but it's not for everyone, no matter what Warhol said. But that doesn't mean you should stop trying, in everything you do. Einstein wasn't just magically gifted, he had to work for everything he got. I'd rather be a mediocre person who strives to be excellent than be a genius who just says, "Eh, what's the point?"

Know your limits, and then smash them. Never listen to anyone who says that you're gifted/a genius/naturally talented-beautiful-whatever, and never listen to anyone who tells you to give up. You have to fight for what you want in life, but you have to know how to pick your battles, too.

I think the distinction is between being okay with yourself and being without ambition to change.

Yes.

That's kind of what I take from existentialism and apply to my life. At worst, nothing I do will make a difference; at best, something will. Can't beat them odds.

You have to fight for what you want in life,

what if all you want is to not be bothered while you sit around drinking beer, listening to records and screwing around online? There's no real fight involved there except against the incredulity of some people.

I'm kinda of the opinion that the 'beauty of struggle' and 'acheivement' is, for most people, bullshit. Ultimately, were animals, we eat, sleep, shit and fuck and 99% of what we do all day is attuned towards those goals. Or maybe ego gratification, which is really a combination of the nourishment urge and the sex urge if you think about it.

Uh huh. That's true for you, jon. I like Ardiril's outlook up there.

And trying to become a member of one of the elite groups I mentioned above only leads to pressure and frustration.

I've found the opposite to be true for me. When I quit my job in NYC and moved back to AZ, I was hoping to 'embrace' my mediocrity. In some ways, it was more frustrating and stressful than what I had left. So I got back on my former path, with a few key improvements, and so far it's been a comfortable mix of ambition and livable lifestyle.

what if all you want is to not be bothered while you sit around drinking beer, listening to records and screwing around online?

What if all you want is to not be bothered while you challenge yourself in your chosen path, listening to records and screwing around online? Worrying about whether your ambitions are "bullshit" or not seems besides the point.

jon, this isn't the first time you've started a discussion like this one. Just who are you trying to convince here?

well, no offense, but you are a member of the elite, at least by most estimations. (I think we can all stipulate that a PH.D. scientist has achieved more than a 37-year-old man who unloads spit-covered books for a living, and I fully realize that's my position in life due to my own faults and shortcomings).

I've just heard so much, culturally speaking and even in conversations, about how the greatest sin is not living up to one's potential. What if somebody dosen't have all that much potential? Is that so bad? I even overheard a co-worker the other day bemaoaning the fact that, as a society, we 'celebrate mediocrity.' He was a manager, so I fought down the urge to say 'so what?' The world is, by definition, filled with mediocre people, and we have lives, too, and we have things to tell the rest of the world (although maybe not so well).

Right, but when you make posts like these, your assertions seem very extreme. Like the only 2 options are to miserably strive for elitism or to schlub out on the couch with a 12-pack every night.

Now, I don't think that not living up to your potential is any huge sin. But I guess I just think, moreso than you obviously, that some degree of striving, or self improvement (in anything, not just career) is a pretty common part of being human. You don't seem to think that, again which is fine, but your repeated posts about how everyone should just stop doing it just smack of trying to convince yourself rather than anyone else.

I get a lot of fulfillment and yes, enjoyment about trying to achieve things in my life. And I don't think that has anything to do with me being one of the "elite".

And I feel like we've had this discussion many times before.

These conversations suffer from a feedback mechanism whereby jonmc states his philosophy on ambition/mediocrity using a lot of phrases that start with "as for the rest of us" and "we should" and then the crowd defends itself against what it interprets as jonmc's directives on how a life should be led. Jon takes these defenses as a condemnation of how he, personally, lives his life and then defends himself by issuing more "as for the rest the us"/"we should" pronouncements. And on and on it goes.

I don't think any one on MetaChat really objects to the way jonmc lives his life, but few people here have shown much interest in converting to that philosophy themselves. Maybe the sales pitch needs some work?

Sorry, I realize that by using 'jonmc' instead of the pronoun 'you', I sound like I'm talking about someone who isn't in the room. Not my intention, I promise.

well, that's because when I listen to most of my peer group, they seem to side with what you're saying ("self improvement..is a pretty common part of being human"). However when I mercilessly look at myself, I don't find that I feel that way, which makes me wonder if there's something wrong with me. So in that sense, maybe I am trying to convince, or at least understand, myself.

*even my music writing is ultimately noting more than wanting to share the hedonistic pleasure of the songs and a desire for people to tell me what a great writer I am, even if I know they're doing so because they're my friends

I've just heard so much, culturally speaking and even in conversations, about how the greatest sin is not living up to one's potential.

So don't buy into it and do whatever you want.

What if somebody dosen't [sic] have all that much potential? Is that so bad?

Not at all. Go and be happy with it.

The world is, by definition, filled with mediocre people, and we have lives, too, and we have things to tell the rest of the world (although maybe not so well).

Yes, it's true. So do it. Or don't. Strangely, it's all up to you.

Does that help?

Or, to state it more in line with my white trash roots, shit or get off the pot, dude.

No, there's nothing wrong with you. You just fall outside of (what I think is) a norm for your peer group. So?

I had a little "self drama" a year ago. This guy who works out at my gym, a urologist, has a daughter who is my daughter's age. They were in a drama group together when they were kids.

We were catching up, and he informed me that his daughter was accepted to Stanford, while still in her junior year of HS. Not bragging, but as a proud parent, which he has every right being. At the time, my daughter was sounding like college was not in her plans.

It made me feel crappy for a few days, how little my family has achieved (the mom is a full prof) then I realized that it really doesn't matter.

There are always going to be the Ivy-educated superstars around, and there are always going to be the people on the street corners with signs.

Mediocrity and excellence are more a function of self-talk and self-image than anything in the real world.

It's an internal vs. external question, really. I mean, do you define your life by what other people think or by what you think? I've found that I'm way happier when I just judge or, actually, don't judge my own life myself. Why listen to somebody else going on about "potential" and the fulfillment or lack of fulfillment thereof? Who cares what other people think? That way lies madness. Life is for living. It's for being as happy as you can in the time you've got and it's completely individual. Everybody lives differently and mediocrity or brilliance or whatever is a judgment call that's going to be different for each individual.

the greatest sin is not living up to one's potential. What if there is no sin? I mean, NO sin. Like, whatever you want (obviously, leaving out hurting other people & your right to swing your arm ends where the other person's face begins etc.) is a-okay and there isn't anyone sitting up there watching in judgment? What then? And what if you shrug off that idea of potential too, because, hey, who defined this potential idea to begin with? It's a false standard. I find that a way more enjoyable and entertaining paradigm, myself.

I mean, call my mother: she'll tell you how I haven't lived up to my potential for hours. That's her perspective; it's not mine. So I don't worry about it. From my own perspective, I'm mostly happy and my life - kids, chaos, couch eating dogs & so on - suits me to a T. It wouldn't suit a lot of other people but then their lives wouldn't work for me. There's room in the world for a lot of different ways of living, a lot of different kinds of potential, a lot of different everything. There's no better or worse or mediocre here, in the long run.

I'd just like to give a little SHOUT OUT to the other morally righteous, genius, sex symbols! Yo!

Oh, crap. That was kind of arrogant, wasn't it? I guess two out of three ain't bad.

'Course, if I'm actually stupid enough to go ahead and post this...

Guess I'm going to have to fall back on my looks.

It's an internal vs. external question, really. I mean, do you define your life by what other people think or by what you think?

Well, this where ideals and reality collide. Yes, the ideal is to do whatever we want and to hell with what anybody thinks, but that dosen't always square with how you feel (rationally or not). I more or less enjoy my life most of the time, but at the same time I realize that (when they think of me at all) a lot of the world views me as a loser or a fool and I'd be lying if I said that didn't bug me sometimes or make me wonder if I should as sleepy_pete says 'shit or get off the pot.' But I'm also smart enough to realize that the esteem of others is a lousy reason to do anything.

And yes, I realize that this is a symptom of self-absorption which is yet another of my character flaws.

what if all you want is to not be bothered while you sit around drinking beer, listening to records and screwing around online? There's no real fight involved there except against the incredulity of some people.

Hence this post? Methinks you doth protest too much.

As for bettering yourself, it's like I said: subjective. Are you telling me you've stopped finding out about new (to you) music, and reading new books? You choose the ways you improve yourself based on your values.

But 'looking like a fool' has never been a reason for not doing something. I'm not saying you should change, or that you should examine your motives for not changing. I'm saying that you can't say it's the right path for anyone but you. That's part of the subjectivity you're embracing/celebrating. You walk a very fine line between self-justification and advocacy whenever this topic comes up, and I think that's where a lot of the friction and backlash comes in.

Fill in the blanks on the popular internet saying:

Don't feed the -----.

This is more or less a rephrasing of what rainbaby said, but:

There's a difference between accepting one's limitations and deciding to be good enough ("I'm not perfect, but I'm going to do the best that I can") and seeing one's limitations as a reason not to try try at all ("I'm not perfect in everything, so what's the point in doing anything?").

I think the first is something that's good; striving for the unachievable in every aspect of one's life is crazy-making. My main objection to the second one is that it creates horribly boring people.

There's nothing wrong with mediocrity, but that isn't going to stop people dismissing those that they see as lazy.

And there's nothing wrong with trying desperately to be something more than you're capable of, but this doesn't stop people dismissing those that they see as being naive about there own abilities.

People have a huge problem with unfulfilled potential because they see it as a waste. "If I had what that person had," they say "I'd be able to do so much more than I am doing." It's like having a friend who got given the awesome xmas present that you wanted and they barely use. It provokes jealousy and anger that something you should have been given is being squandered. Even among more empathic people, this jealousy translates into "They're scared of failure. They need to be led to a situation where they try."

On the other hand, every thing I'm involved in is full of people mocking those that try and fail. Sites like Metafilter and slashdot are built on an almost feral criticism of those things that don't quite meet an expected standard. The poetry world is harsh. For what is basically a hobby for amateurs, it's overly full of people saying how shit each others work is. Television seems designed to mock those that we consider perfect enough to love and imperfect enough to spew vitriol at.

We hate those that do not exactly fill their potential, and it goes both ways.

Finally, if I told you (jon), that Bruce Springsteen was mediocre, would you consider it an insult. Because if you do, then maybe you have a problem with mediocrity too. And if you have a problem with mediocrity in others then you shouldn't strive for it in yourself.

And finally finally - Mr jonmc - You are anything but mediocre. You may want an easy life, but your desire for simplicity should not be confused with mediocrity. In many ways you are (like most people) exceptional.

(when they think of me at all) a lot of the world views me as a loser or a fool

I'm wondering who you think is doing the viewing here. Who's 'a lot of the world?' When was the last time you felt viewed this way? Are you sure, in other words, that it's some monolithic 'world' viewing you this way, or is that perception coming from you?

Most of the world is as busy thinking about themselves as you are about yourself.

What does one profit by chasing some lofty goal that neither makes you happy nor betters the lives of those you care about most? And all just to prove some hypothetical potential? If the path to fulfilling that potential gives you satisfaction, then great - go for it. If not, I think the best most of us can hope for in life is the chance to make our little circle of the world a little happier and to be the best us that we know how. That's a fine ambition, I think, and one I wish more people would embrace.

Are you telling me you've stopped finding out about new (to you) music, and reading new books?

Well...yes. I mostly listen to the playlist of the 'top 300.' I read books I've read before or new books by authors I've read before. Every night at 8pm, I watch reruns of MASH. Why? Because I know they'll deliver what I want. I don't know whether to be worried or satisfied.

you are (like most people) exceptional.

This sentence disagrees with itself. If everybody's exceptional then nobody is.

Sites like Metafilter and slashdot are built on an almost feral criticism of those things that don't quite meet an expected standard

Oh God yes. Some of the offhand snark people fling around there fills me with such...rage, especially since it's usually about petty things and usually thrown around by people who are no great shakes themselves.

The sentence doesn't disagree with itself because people are multi-dimensional. Find a bunch of mediocre (as in medium or average) people and get to know them. There's always going to be something they did that was amazing or some facet of their lives which blows you away.

You know this because you've talked about it in the past.

..people who are no great shakes themselves
There's a sentence that needs re-examining. I don't like the snark or criticism for the sake of criticism, but the perceived abilities of the snarker don't matter. No-one should get a free pass because they're brilliant.

people who are no great shakes themselves

and what's so wrong with that?

My take is that comparing oneself to other people is a fool's errand. On the other hand, (as the parable of the talents kinda illustrates) we need to do the best we can with what we got. The greatest sin being not trying.

I really do have to stress the "not comparing" part. I know my youngest always felt that people compared her and her sister unfavorably to her brother-brother is at USAFA and people tend to act like he walks on water (which he gets extremely annoyed at and doesn't appreciate.) Now that she's a married mom I think she has finally got her feet under her and is setting her own goals. I'm proud of her just like I am proud of her brother. More so, in some ways, because when she made some missteps she faced them, took care of business, and has consequently made a nice life for herself, with goals and plans to come.

Oh, and everybody is mediocre in some things, and everyone has ONE thing that they are meant to shine in.

For instance, I KNOW I play piano better than Lance Armstrong. ;-)

and what's so wrong with that?

Nothing, as long as one knows one is No Great Shakes, which most petty snarkers don't otherwise they wouldn't be snarking, they'd be pausing to realize 'hey, who the hell am I to break this person's stones?' which is kind of getting back to my original point about 'embracing mediocrity.' When you realize that you're not so great, it makes it a lot harder to cast stones at everyone else, which is a good thing.

Could someone fill me in on what this post is about? I've been busy writing yet another masterpiece, and just before that I cured the common cold. God, I am soo lazy today!! :P

Oh and also, FWIW, Lance Armstrong is totally mediocre at having two testicles.

Nothing, as long as one knows one is No Great Shakes, which most petty snarkers don't otherwise they wouldn't be snarking...


Sounds to me like you're engaging in the same process of evaluation and judgement that you are arguing here against.

Which isn't surprising. When you do a lot of judging others, it naturally feels like others must be judging you.

to illustrate my point better: in Tim Sandlin's novel Western Swing there's a scene where Lana Sue Potts, a Dallas high school girl in the early 60's meets Mickey Thunder, an alcoholic older steel guitar player who she has a fling with. He draws her a diagram of a pedal steel showing her all the foot and knee pedals and whatnot.

"Is that why you play the steel guitar, because it's complicaed and stuff?"

"Naw, I like it because it's played sitting down. I hate standing up."

[[ouch]]

I'm not trying to be mean, though that comment probably sounded like it. All I'm trying to say is that the key to personal satisfaction with life is to stop referencing an external standard. Jonmc is posting about whether it's okay to be "mediocre" or "a genius, superstar, etc." Who's doing the evaluating here? What is the external standard?

If you define your own standards - determine what is most important in life to you, and live in accordance with those values - then it hardly matters at all what other people choose to do. There's no need to judge them or to determine whether you think they have the chops to say what they're saying or do what they're doing. They're just out there doing it; it's what they want to do. Living that way is important to them, at least at this moment.

Why isn't it enough to live the way that's important to you? Why does it have to become not a personal choice, but a defense of some broad definition of Mediocrity? As defined by some unknown body somewhere who appears to be handing out the gold stars?

There aren't any gold stars, only self-knowledge.

I'd wager we all know people who object some social standard or other - for ambition, conventionality, achievement, whatever. But if they really reject it, they tend to be pretty comfortable with the rejection. I don't get the sense you're comfortable rejecting it, jonmc, because you bring it up every six months.

Finally, there's as much damage done in life - if not more - by people who have something great to contribute, but are too fearful, insecure, oppressed, or in some other way held back from what they could achieve, as there is by people who strive, overreach, and overachieve.

I say 'if not more' because people who are frustrated tend to spill that frustration out in other parts of their lives.

If you define your own standards - determine what is most important in life to you, and live in accordance with those values - then it hardly matters at all what other people choose to do.

That sounds uncomfortably similar to the 'self-esteem' building 'motivational' talks we used to get on the job I held before my last one. Our branch of the company went under less than a year later.

At this point, I'd much rather if someone told me, honestly, 'this is as good as things get. Get comfortable.'

Regardless of what it reminds you of, it's the truth. Do you want to be reacting to something you're reminded of that's in the past that you didn't like, or testing your assumptions in the present moment?

What's the opposite of living by your own lights? Deciding that other people DO get to determine your personal worth? What other people? Which ones? Who are you nominating? When do they get to vote? Is this the vote right now? What do you want us to say about how you should live? Why don't you just say it to yourself?

I'm damn glad I don't give anyone else the last word on my value as a person. Even I don't always know what I'm capable of or most need, let alone anybody else.

If you want to tell yourself you are completely happy and comfortable, like I said, you're more than welcome to. Always. In fact, you should, because no one else really cares that much about what other people do.

But what it sounds like you're telling yourself, instead, is not "This is as good as it gets. Get comfortable," but "This is as good as I'm going to let things get. Stay comfortable."

And then you're asking us to agree with that.

Take whatever attitude you want. It's your attitude. You don't need our endorsement. The more you question people about your own attitude, the more it seems like you don't really believe it.

This is what happens when he doesn't drink enough. ; )

Most of the world still strives for things like clean water, enough to eat, schools for their kids, medicine, freedom. Most of our individual worlds are so small. Most concerns, trivial. Even on the miniscule scale of this tiny planet in this sliver of the universe in this speck of time.

What the fuck does any of that mean? I haven't a clue.

My armchair diagnosis is he knows he's settling and wants permission.

I'm 49 and I still have plans and goals and stuff in life. I am not putting pressure on myself to be something I am not BUT I am looking forward to things. Training for things-aspiring for things. Jonmc seems to want to live out the theme to the lyrics to "Is That All There Is" and I think somewhere down deep inside even he knows that he shouldn't.

Look, Jon, no one is pushing you to come up with a cure for cancer or a solution to getting Britney into a psych unit...what a lot of us WOULD like you to do is to bloom and grow. You would be pleasantly surprised if you would allow yourself to do that.

And there is NO TIMETABLE for that. You can take your time. I certainly have!

A defining moment in my life happened when I gave up trying to Accomplish It All (at which I was constantly failing). It happened when I realized that I was never going to be the star of the show, but that I make a pretty good key grip.

Today I strive for the things that matter to me, and me alone. I don't worry about what others think.

It is up to you to measure your own accomplishments and decide what you want to do. No one else, but as Judge Smails said, "Well, Danny, the world needs ditchdiggers too".

My armchair diagnosis is he knows he's settling and wants permission.

Damn straight, bunnyfire.

Or maybe I'm just (at long last) putting away childish things.

nthing what everyone above has said so eloquently.

I think the part of you that hit the "post" button is a part of you that most emphatically doesn't want to be mediocre.

In all seriousness, not really. I just hear so much of the opposite that I felt like offering a different perspective. Obviously, it's not one shared by a lot of people. But it's mine.

And there is NO TIMETABLE for that.

Yes! Yesyesyesyesyes!

Thanks, bunnyfire, for articulating the thought that's been swimming 'round the top of my brain this afternoon.

As for the bulk of this discussion: I don't think there's anything wrong with accepting my own mediocrity in things that are of small importance to me or in things where I have little ability to improve.

An example: I'm clumsy, so I'll never be a great iceskater. I don't have a passion for iceskating, so I'm not investing the prodigious time and effort it would take for me to be even a competent skater.

Because I'm clumsy, I'm also pretty bad at dancing. But I like dancing, and it enriches my life. So I a) accept that I'll never be a great dancer, and enjoy it without worrying that I'm bad at it, and b) I notice what makes good dancers good, so maybe I can improve myself. For me (and maybe not for others), that's a comfortable compromise between accepting my mediocrity and trying to improve.

Well put.

Wow. There’s a lot of good advice and some real insights here. I had to go through [number redacted] years of therapy and $ [amount redacted] to get this sort of stuff; y’all are giving it away.

I’ve been kinda hesitant to jump in, for a couple of reasons. For one, I see a lot of my previous ways of thinking in jon’s approach to the world, and it’s hard to not say “don’t fuck up the way I did”. No one ever listens when people say that, so there really wouldn’t be any point to it. Also, when I was having similar thoughts, I was incredibly depressed. It’s possible that jon is, too, although it’s equally possible that he’s not. I’m in no position to make a judgment either way. Having said that, and having had the experience that I did, it’s difficult for me to frame a response that doesn’t have that underlying assumption.

But I’ll give it a shot.

Hey jon-

As many others have said here, measuring your life by the world’s yardstick is a losing game. Of course you want to be well-thought-of, but worrying about whether or not “a lot of the world views me as a loser or a fool” is just setting yourself up for a fall. Seriously. I used to beat myself up over just this very issue for years. I finally realized that, on the whole, the world doesn’t give a husky fuck what I do. Once that penny dropped for me, things became a lot easier.

The only opinions that count are yours and pips’. That’s it. And I don’t want to put words into her mouth, but I’m gonna guess that all she really wants in this regard is that you’re happy.

I guess the other thing I’d want to pass on is, don’t listen to what your head is telling you. Listen to your gut.

At this point, I'd much rather if someone told me, honestly, 'this is as good as things get. Get comfortable.’

The only person who can tell you that is yourself. It don’t mean shit coming from anyone else. And the thing is, I don’t honestly think that you believe it. If you did, you probably wouldn’t have made this post. Or the other, very similar posts you’ve made. It’s hard not to look at this pattern and see someone who’s trying to convince himself.

If you’re truly happy with the status quo (and I don’t mean the band), then you’re golden. This exchange says to me that maybe you’re not:

Are you telling me you've stopped finding out about new (to you) music, and reading new books?

Well...yes. I mostly listen to the playlist of the 'top 300.' I read books I've read before or new books by authors I've read before. Every night at 8pm, I watch reruns of MASH. Why? Because I know they'll deliver what I want. I don't know whether to be worried or satisfied.

If you were satisfied, you wouldn’t be asking. I can’t tell you how to be happy, but I can make a few suggestions as to how to break out of the rut you described. If you want to.

The first and really obvious one is to ask co-workers about some new (to you) authors. You work in a bookstore, man; take advantage of it. Explore a bit. The same is true musically: go down to Bleeker Bob’s (sorry, that’s the only record store in NYC I know of – if they’re not around any more, find the equivalent), and ask the clerks for advice. “I like X, Y, and Z bands. Who else might I like?” Having worked in a record store, I can tell you that those guys live for that kind of thing.

Or take a look at the Hype Machine. Sure, 90% of is pure shit, but you’ve gotta get your pan wet if you want to find the gold.

Maybe make a goal of exploring at least one new band per month. I’ll even get you started – check out Les Breastfeeders.

All of this is just pixels on a page unless you act on it. My advice, for what it's worth: don't settle unless you have to. Self-knowledge is great; self-abandonment, not so much. Engage the world, but on your terms.

I just spenta half-hour watching the American Idol auditions with pips. I'm more convinced than ever about embracing mediocrity now. Look where shooting for the stars got these people. Half the world is the kooks belting away like palsied cockatoos and the other half is pricks like Simon Cowell. Stay inside. Drink beer. watch TV.

There's a surprise. I, personally, am shocked - SHOCKED, that is - by this outcome.

well, viewing this lifted my spirits a bit. (that's outside Studio 54(!) at a Venom/Exodus/Slayer show. just warms my heart knowing that they desecrated that symbol of everything wrong with the world)

I just spenta half-hour watching the American Idol auditions with pips. I'm more convinced than ever about embracing mediocrity now. Look where shooting for the stars got these people. Half the world is the kooks belting away like palsied cockatoos and the other half is pricks like Simon Cowell. Stay inside. Drink beer. watch TV.

And I just watched ALL TWO HOURS of the auditions and came away inspired.

Look, what it got those people was a chance to be on TV and to HUG RYAN SEACREST. THAT's what they got out of it!

Jonmc, you know I'm a songwriter, right? You know how I became one? In my forties? By deciding that it didn't matter if I was any good or not, but that it was something I wanted to do AND could get good at. It wasn't like the world was waiting for a middleaged fat woman to start writing, you know.

I don't have a Grammy-and likely never will have one- but I did get a song on a cd and get paid for it. Which is way more than I would have gotten if I had decided I was too old to try, why bother, just stay mediocre. I have had the experience of people coming up to me and telling me what my song meant to them...which is worth more than any Grammy ever could be to me.

The key there is that I did something I wanted to do that blessed other people. Look, my dude friend, there is something in you that was meant to be shared. Get off your hiney and go share it!

(You KNOW you want to.)

And finally finally - Mr jonmc - You are anything but mediocre

I thought that bore repeating.

take it from me; I know what a true mediocrist looks like

*looks self in the mirror;)

*even my music writing is ultimately nothing more than wanting to share the hedonistic pleasure of the songs and a desire for people to tell me what a great writer I am, even if I know they're doing so because they're my friends

So? Other people's motivations are different simpler or purer somehow?

The world is, by definition, filled with mediocre people, and we have lives, too, and we have things to tell the rest of the world

Things to tell the rest of the world? Tell me how that IN ITSELF doesn't constitute a very specific ambition.

You know, this is pretty insulting. If you really think the people around you are constantly rating you on some scale based on how hard you're willing to bust ass to make money or get famous, then you sure aren't giving them (us) a hell of a lot of credit.

I agree with tang - I do the stuff I do because (a) I enjoy doing that stuff more than I would enjoy not doing that stuff and (b) I vainly enjoy it when people say "nice job." Those are perfectly fine motivations. Sometimes (b) doesn't follow (a), -- in other words, maybe my version of (a) didn't meet some standard someone else is walking around with applying to the universe-- but that's ok because I enjoyed (a) in and of itself and would do it anyway. See how that works?

even my music writing is ultimately nothing more than wanting to share the hedonistic pleasure of the songs and a desire for people to tell me what a great writer I am

You just proved my point.

Seriously, though, I love your music writing. While I'm not saying you have to do it professionally, it wouldn't surprise me if you could. Sure, you may get shot down any number of times, but are you just going to take no for an answer? That doesn't seem very rock'n'roll to me. You're not rebelling; you're surrendering. Don't get comfortable. You're scared to be uncomfortable; you should be scared to be comfortable. It means you're dead. Whatever happened to knocking down the gates of hell and kicking the devil in the nuts?

If you took your "300 songs" and compiled them into a manuscript (READ: cut and paste them into MS Word), combined with 1 or 2 CD-Rs stuffed with the mp3s you uploaded to vox, you might have some fun shopping them around. I bet if you put your ear to the ground, you could find a few people to shop it to. Agents moreso than just submitting them to Rolling Stone or the like. Have you shown the list to Handsome Dick? I bet he would get a kick out of it, esp. if you made a present of it to him. "From your biggest fan". Shit, he might even have some connections.

Just an idea. More to the point, have fun with it. Even if you land a non-paying freelance gig, I bet you'd have fun with it. And shit, you could sell the couch potato slacker lifestyle along with it. It gives your writing depth, character; that it's from an average Joe. And you are an average Joe, jon. So help me, that's what I love about you. You just happen to be a talented writer with an insightful musical ear, too. And that's all you need in this life. To have fun doing what you love; fuck the money. So what if it turns into a paying gig down the line? If it doesn't, you still work at one of the world's coolest bookstores. Plus, you have Pips, which is a heck of a lot more than most people could ever hope for.

Sorry to go on at length. Your writing gets me fucking amped, you stinking cocksucker. =P

You're still my hero, no matter how bad you (think you) fuck up.

Eideteker, if this site had favorites, I would be sitting here making sockpuppets just so I could favorite that comment more than once.

If you took your "300 songs" and compiled them into a manuscript (READ: cut and paste them into MS Word), combined with 1 or 2 CD-Rs stuffed with the mp3s you uploaded to vox, you might have some fun shopping them around.

Oh sweet mercy, does that sound like a freaking brilliant idea*.

*Maybe it sounds so thoroughly brilliant to me because I'm trying to get The Fella to try that with his huge collection of film writing.

While I'm on a roll, to get back to my original point, when you measure yourself against someone else, real or imagined, you're inherently handicapping yourself. Whether it's brains, beauty, money, or virtue, you're measuring the discrepancy between yourself and them. Better to compare yourself now with yourself in the past. See how much you've grown?

Have you shown the list to Handsome Dick? I bet he would get a kick out of it, esp. if you made a present of it to him. "From your biggest fan". Shit, he might even have some connections.

I've actually considered chatting up Handsome Dick on a number of things (he also works for Little Steven, remember.) But I nixed it since I know him only casually and don't want to come on like some asshole trying to use him.

Who is Handsome Dick?

(If anyone else on this thread knows him, send him a link to Jon's site. Dangit.)

Handsome Dick is Handsome Dick Manitoba (the guy I'm standing next to in this picture). He was the lead vocalist for pioneering proto-punk band the Dictators, who I am a huge fan of. he also currently owns a bar in the East Village that I go to sometimes and has a radio show on Little Steven's (Springsteen's guitarist among other things) radio network.

The next time you run into Mr. Manitoba, you should ask him about this "embrace mediocrity" business. I imagine he'd have some interesting things to say in that regard.

I've actually considered chatting up Handsome Dick on a number of things (he also works for Little Steven, remember.) But I nixed it since I know him only casually and don't want to come on like some asshole trying to use him.

I think the trick here is to drop him a line anyway and include the sentence "I don't want to come on like some asshole trying to use you." If you don't mention your connections to the Nigerian government or boost Amway, you're probably okay.

Everybody should pick up a guitar
It's the American Way
You can play your part
Give it all your heart
Soon, you'll be the no-good rage
Soon, you'll be there on the stage

Singin'
I Stand Tall
I stand proud of what I am
I Stand Tall
I stand proud of what I am

Huh, I wonder why that sounds familiar?

But I nixed it since I know him only casually and don't want to come on like some asshole trying to use him.

You don't have to use him. Just share your love of music with him. The operative word is "chat".

Like I keep saying, have fun with it. It's not about being successful. It's about having a great time rather than a mediocre time.

Eideteker, I get your larger point, but that 'I Stand Tall,' song is all about embracing mediocrity if you think about it. It's saying 'I'm a lazy TV watching pizza chomping American slob and I'm proud of it."

So why not get paid for that? That's all I'm saying. It's the American Way! It's the rule the Dics lived by in their music, I think. And the result was awesomeness in a way that brings us all closer together. In the quest for Pussy & Money. knowhutimeen?