MetaChat - Rock Stars I Would Not F@ck

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17 December 2007

Rock Stars I Would Not F@ck Who's on your list? →[More:]Oooh, jrossi, this deserves its own thread! Also, for the purposes of this thread, you can totally imagine the rock star in question at any point in his career, like, I would definitely, most definitely, have fucked Mick Jagger back in the day but now, not so much. See also, John Lennon.

Ted Nugent. No. First off, he killed all the animals which makes him ineligible for fucking by Geneva convention rules.

Ozzy Osbourne. It's the bat, man.

Paul McCartney. Just because I hate him.

David Crosby. Outlived his welcome long ago and even then, man, no. Sorry.

Anyone from Kiss, AC/DC or, frankly, any hair n' makeup n' weird ass costume band. The makeup would smear and they would probably get pissed off by my uncontrollable laughter.

Boy George and/or George Michael.

Michael Jackson. Not even before he was replaced by the aliens.

I know there are more I can't think of offhand. Yours?

post by: mygothlaundry at: 12:10 | 27 comments

Bjork. Mainly because I'm not quite sure that she's an Earth Woman.
Britney Spears. Just on general principles and because I hate fake boobs with a passion. You want that shit, fill two ziplocs with saltwater and have yourself an orgy.

posted by jonmc 17 December | 12:21

Dan Fogelberg. Because his songs are sappy, and I find him a bit of a stiff entertainer.

The rest of 'em, though, send 'em over.

posted by Hellbient 17 December | 12:22

the first name that came to my mind was amy winehouse. well, maybe before she got into heroin, but that would probably put her in her middle teens, so that's out...

posted by syntax 17 December | 12:24

John Frusciante. Love his music, and his voice, but when I see his face, I'm always like, "Aaauggh! Dude! Did the heroin do that to you or were you born that way?"

Thom Yorke. See previous entry, minus the heroin reference.

Wayne Coyne (Flaming Lips). Not because he's not a hottie- I think he is- but because he has such a big-brother vibe going on anymore that thinking about him "that way" just feels creepy and wrong.

I'm sure all three of these guys are just SHATTERED at their rejection of nookie with a middle-aged guy, but c'est la vie.

posted by BoringPostcards 17 December | 12:35

I don't think many of the female rock stars I like play on the straight team.

posted by chuckdarwin 17 December | 12:44

This list is totally against the rock and roll ethos. You should all be ashamed.

posted by pokermonk 17 December | 12:48

also: Joni Mitchell. I love her music but she looks like a coke-addled duck and she's indirectly responsible for Jewel.

posted by jonmc 17 December | 12:51

Lemmy

Ossie Osbourne

Steve Tyler

Jagger

McCartney

Any of the over-60s, really.

Noddy Holder

Bowie

Dylan

Springsteen (I keed, I keed, he would totally get it)

posted by essexjan 17 December | 13:03

My list of rock stars that I would do is a lot shorter, so I'll go there.

Bruce Springsteen. I'm not really a fan of his music but he's really hot, especially his overbite and his butt.

Er...wow. I can't think of anyone else. Uh there must be someone else. So anyway, the list of people I would not do includes everyone except Bruce Springsteen.

posted by iconomy 17 December | 13:05

I think I would have a harder time coming up with seven musicians I would bed.

posted by Elsa 17 December | 13:07

So Iassume all you ladies (and BoPo) would do this guy? this guy? this guy? even (good heavens) this guy?

Human generosity never ceases to amaze me.

posted by jonmc 17 December | 13:20

The young Joey Ramone, yeah, totally. The guys in the third and fourth photos who I don't even know who they are? Not even as a mercy fuck. But smart/dark/funny/talented can trump looks for me anyway.

posted by mygothlaundry 17 December | 13:24

The third is Ronnie James Dio, the fourth guy is Dee Snider from Twisted Sister. The second is Handsome Dick Manitoba of the Dictators (in the foreground in the skullie).

posted by jonmc 17 December | 13:33

I would also not do:

Iggy Pop

James Brown

Michael Jackson

Michael Bolton

The Hoff (he's a rock star in Germany so it counts)

Keef

Cliff Richard (yeah, like he'd be interested in a woman)

Joe Cocker

That boring twat who's married to Gwyneth Paltrow

James Blunt (although I would give him a kick in the face, just for luck)

Brian May

Marilyn Manson

Pete Burns

posted by essexjan 17 December | 13:35

Aw, man, I'd totally do Iggy Pop.

posted by gaspode 17 December | 13:40

Celine Dion, although she's not a rockstar.
Madonna.
Courtney Love.

Actually I can't think of any female rock star that I have an undue attraction for. Now in the folk idiom, there's lots, but restricted to rock, um, can't think of any. I know it's hard for a lot of them to hear, but they'll deal, hopefully.

posted by danf 17 December | 13:54

A friend of mine was come onto by Iggy Pop, including what was supposed to be a friendly hug turning into a tongue (still attached, fortunately) down her throat.

Needless to say, she passed.

posted by danf 17 December | 13:56

eej is picky today! No Steve Tyler? He's lovely, really. I was an extra in a video. I didn't F*%K him or anything, but I saw him up close.

Tom Petty. Love the voice, don't get the look.

Danzig. He scares me a little.

posted by rainbaby 17 December | 14:00

jonmc: a big no on all of those. But a complete list would keep us here all day.

posted by BoringPostcards 17 December | 14:28

All male rock stars EXCEPT Morrissey.

posted by pieisexactlythree 17 December | 16:11

Not "rock" exactly, but has nobody said Seal yet? I would guess that he'd be towards the un-doable end of the scale. But then he's with Heidi Klum and I'm not. So I'll go back over here and be quiet now.

posted by Joe Invisible 17 December | 16:30

has nobody said Seal yet
He fell in love with Heidi while she was pregnant with someone else's child. He refers to that child as "my daughter Leni." Those two things make him not only doable, but lovable.

posted by jrossi4r 17 December | 16:52

Seal at the un-doable end of the scale? Are you crazy? Rrrrrrrowr!

posted by Specklet 17 December | 17:05

Seal and Heidi Klum are Giant Tall Beautiful People and I root for them and do not begrudge them their birthrights of both being freakishly hot.

posted by rainbaby 17 December | 19:33

Amy Winehouse. (*shudders*)
Lily Allen
Madonna
Victoria Beckham

Maybe Nicola from Girls Aloud (Although that seems a bit unfair. (Gawd Bless Her Ginger Heed))

There are *many* more...

posted by seanyboy 18 December | 10:01

Classic wasted Iggy. He'd be energetic, that's for sure.

posted by goo 18 December | 12:06

Meh, I'm really not that fussy, actually.

posted by dg 19 December | 03:48

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