Ugh. Fear based behavior is the toughest to deal with. Good luck!

Is having a spouse come in ever a good thing in this kind of situation?
i have no idea.
If he can listen without prejudice, go for it.
Sorry for Mrs. P.

That situation sucks so fiercely, plinth.

But yeah, you always need the Can o' Whup-Ass in the background as an option.

Reason and goodwill don't always work with all people.

I hope you and Mrs. P are doing better. Good luck.

The situation sucks but I really don't believe any conversation will induce the old manager to rescind the new managerial hire. Worse, it could start bad blood that could follow Mrs. P into future jobs and will likely get security personal or even the police involved.

I know if an employee or report of mine's spouse came to talk to me about office politics I would immediately pop out to get security involved.

That is a very scary thing.

My goal now is to meet with old boss and induce new boss to be fired.

The situation sounds like it sucks. But it sounds as though you and your wife have made the right decision-- she SHOULD quit; it's never worth it to stay in a work situation that makes you miserable. There are always other jobs.

However, if she is quitting, I don't see the point in your meeting with the old boss. Although it might be satisfying to see the new boss fired, it is still petty and vindictive, and should be beneath you.

Revenge is for the small. Don't be the small.

Seconding dersins. Mrs. P is doing a good thing for herself - getting away from the bully. She may need help/counseling to put herself back together. Or even a different job, volunteering somewhere. Go here for some good advice.

I'm betting old/big boss is aware of the new hire's incompetence, but can't (or won't) get rid of her because she's "getting results" or some other bullshit that basically means he'd lose face. If Mrs. P had talked with him and gotten any reassurance it might be a different story. But if there's no support from that end, you going in there gunz ablaze will do no good and might do harm.

I understand the impulse, I really do. My old bully boss was specifically warned by several people to stay away from my second baby shower at work because both my mother and my husband would be there. I could hold one of them back but not both.

I found out later that someone from my office volunteered to take my mom to said former boss' new office. Thankfully she didn't take the offer.

I'm not doing this for revenge. If new boss stays in place, Mrs. P is out immediately. If new boss is fired, Mrs. P is likely to stay longer. I'm not sure that he is fully aware of the extent of the circumstances because of the role of new boss. She basically massages old boss to make him happy and insulates him from the people that report to her, who she bullies.

I've met old boss and I have respect for what he's trying to do - it's a small company with aspirations of being a much larger company. New boss is poison and is an effective impediment to his goal by chasing away the talent (Mrs. P is not the first) - that can tank his company. The other issue is that by bullying, she is creating a hostile work environment she is opening them up to lawsuit. And while I'm not a lawyer, even if it isn't an easily won case, I don't think his company can afford to be in litigation. He doesn't want to lose his company.

We're also trying to buy time. Due to circumstances, we're in a position where we have to purchase supplemental health insurance from the state to cover physical therapy for my daughter at roughly $12K per year. In order to make that happen we *have* to pay for daycare at an additional cost of $10K per year and additional nanny care at a cost of $1K per year. She can walk, but has roughly 4 months before our emergency savings is depleted by 50%.

Mrs. P is so broken that she can't fight this fight. I'm going to be her advocate.

You're a good man, plinth.

That's a very different situation than I was in, then. The Bullybusters site might have some stuff you could show to old boss about the hostile work environment.

There's a lot of stuff that depends on the company's size though. Some of the employee protections might not apply.

I'll say it, too. You're a good man.

Thanks, I try.