Not as perfect as this, though.

We usually give the adults in the family cards that explain why we've given to charity instead of wasting money on more stuff. We do give hand-made/hand-written/original work/home recorded presents, though.

No one has ever had the balls to complain.

Way to stick it to 'em! And allows much more smugness than getting them something they want/need that will not be regarded as junk. Requires less of that difficult "thought" that the dames are always going on about.

And allows much more smugness than getting them something they want/need that will not be regarded as junk.

Exactly. My siblings and I don't buy each other anything. We don't even send cards. I probably would, but neither of them will, so it's pointless.

Everyone else in the family has lots of money, so a little charity shoved in their face is good for 'em.

Requires less of that difficult "thought" that the dames are always going on about.


Man, people suck. I tried that... and whatever I get is never good enough. So now, I buy goats and chicken for starving people. Hell, I may even buy a cow this year. Push the boat out, you know?

The only other solution is to buy people stuff that I KNOW is apt. Like, if Uncle Pete drinks too much, get him a DVD of Leaving Las Vegas. Cousin Marty likes to snort charlie? Scarface.

Aunt Claire is uptight? Pink Flamingo. That singing arsehole scene ought to loosen her up a bit.

Seriously, these people have more money than I do. They can buy their own stuff.

That reminds me of this tag I found on my suit when I bought it.

Dude! Where is this suit you speak of? You need to have someone take your photo in it.

The shirt you linked to looks cool, but I live in Boston. Wearing a shirt with flashing gizmo lights could get me arrested -- just in time for the holidays!

Everyone else in the family has lots of money, so a little charity shoved in their face is good for 'em.

That's the spirit, Chuck! Let spite be your umbrella!

Charity: When a picture of your middle finger just isn't enough.

That's the spirit, Chuck! Let spite be your umbrella!

*snort* She Who Must Be Named is in charge of Crimmis. I think you can see why.

Charity: When a picture of your middle finger just isn't enough.

Man, that's a good idea. My skinny white arse might look even better on a card! Good thing I have a remote shutter release.

***

In all honesty, we'll do what we always do and it'll be fine. The outlaws have been very kind to us... I just like to give them a little shit about their yacht and their 1000 cheap flights a year and their ridiculously huge carbon bootprint. They deserve a little ribbing for it.

Man, that's a good idea. My skinny white arse might look even better on a card! Good thing I have a remote shutter release.

Bwahahahahaha! Fair enough. I've been known to give charity gifts to people who know they have enough stuff and appreciate it. I gave my grandad eye surgeries in Asia through Seva Service Society for years, and my family agreed it was the best possible present he could have gotten (a doctor, not acquisitive at all, acutely aware of social injustice). I just had to give you a hard time about the 'in your face' attitude, and you took it with grace. Nicely done.

Also, I thought my family was alone in referring to it as Crimmass. Apparently I was wrong.