MetaChat - the semantics of volume

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09 October 2007

the semantics of volume (in which the bunnies are tasked with resolving a minor domestic squabble)→[More:]

Dear MeCha. The mister and I seem to have difficulty achieving resolution in a minor, yet niggling issue; to wit: the semantics of volume.

Please to be confirming which represents the most volume in the following examples:

- a shit ton
- an assload
- a metric assload
- (something else we've not established, to be determined)

To avoid confirmation bias, I will not slant the thread with our respective opinions. This has, however, become a somewhat contentious issue in the lfr household. So, following much unresolved debate and pedantry, this morning the mister threw up his hands in frustration and said (and I quote) 'why don't you just ask your internet friends!!'.

We both solemnly swear to abide by the collective wisdom of the MeCha braintrust.

Hope us!

post by: lonefrontranger at: 12:50 | 17 comments

a shit ton

posted by Hugh Janus 09 October | 12:53

shitton > metric assload > assload.

However, metric fuckton > fuckton > shitton.

There's no real basis for this, except I think "load" is less than "ton" and that metric functions as a superlative in cases like these.

posted by dismas 09 October | 12:53

dismas is undismissable in this case.

posted by danostuporstar 09 October | 12:56

Dirtier words and longer phrases both indicate greater volume.

posted by box 09 October | 12:58

A ton of shit is really quite voluminous. I mean even the goatse guy couldn't load a ton into his ass.

What about a gigashit?

posted by danostuporstar 09 October | 13:05

A metric tonne is larger in volume than an English ton. A shit ton is much larger than an assload, for all asses smaller than King Kong's (ton of shit versus single pile of shit). Ergo, a metric shit tonne is the max possible volume given the available descriptive options. Enjoy!

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 09 October | 13:12

I agree with dismas, although in our house shit-ton and ass-ton are used interchangeably.

posted by muddgirl 09 October | 13:20

dismas nails it.

posted by drezdn 09 October | 13:22

If you are at work or otherwise in an environment where saying "shit ton" is not acceptable, you can instead refer to the identical volume as a "crap ton".

posted by tangerine 09 October | 13:47

The proper term is "Metric Shitload."

A single load of shit is constrained only by the container it's placed in. Thus, it can be the contents of one's bowels, (small) the contents of a cargo container, (several tons) or the contents of an entire ship or fleet of ships. (dozens, scores, or hundreds of tons)

And "Metric" because it's used in more countries than Imperial, and is therefore more universal.

posted by lekvar 09 October | 14:06

Seconding 'metric shitload' as the only term I've seen so far that I'd use. But of your list, I reckon 'metric' is indeed an intensifier, and instinctively I think of 'shit ton' as being bigger than an 'assload' so 'metric shit ton' would win. But it's not on there.

I offer up 'Shedload' to be used in polite company.

posted by altolinguistic 09 October | 14:18

I agree with lekvar, "shitload" is correct. "Shit ton" is made up, like "asshat," by people who have no business making up foul language.

posted by Hugh Janus 09 October | 14:20

You can have my asshat when you pry it from my cold dead hands!

posted by danostuporstar 09 October | 14:24

I figure all I need is a good can opener, then.

posted by Hugh Janus 09 October | 14:29

I would say shit ton. But I think fuckload is the biggest (loudest?) of all.

posted by triggerfinger 09 October | 14:43

In my childhood household, it was called a shit load.
I vote for shit ton. Definitely bigger than an assload.
Metric assload? That's just silly.

posted by DarkForest 09 October | 15:19

woohah, what a busy day! Thanks to everyone who responded in this thread; essentially you confirmed what I'd suspected, which is we were both (half) right... or perhaps just halfassed. Mr. lfr was stumbling over the metric bits by arguing that centimetres are smaller than inches to which my response was that length has nothing to do with volume... um, nevermind. that plus I was getting hung up on the assload vs. shit ton deal.

The internets to the rescue! Domestic tranquility is restored! Hurrah for MetaChat!

posted by lonefrontranger 09 October | 20:39

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