Eeeeek!

Aw, I got lots of spiders at El Rancho Endwell... they keep the cockroaches who hitchhiked up from L.A. from taking over; and if I lay real still, they're going to weave me a new blanket - I think.

I concur! I myself just did computer chair battle with an emissary from the enormous species of ant that is prevalent out here. Rolled him over and over under my chair wheel and it took twelve tries!

All this before even one sip of morning coffee.

I swear to God, it's like Jurassic Fucking Park out here in the summertime.

The little, teeny weeny ants that were here last week have appeared to move on. Although, they're so teeny that maybe I'm not seeing them. I killed the last bunch with a squirt of Windex on a damp rag. They're fragile little things.

Wasps have made a pretty big nest in my enormous rosemary plant growing outside in a terra-cotta pot. I don't have the heart, or the bravery, to destroy it.

And yesterday as I was walking into the hospital I noticed a very prehistoric looking lizard with scalloped plates on its back. All through my childhood, and beyond, we used to have the cutest little green chameleons. They have been eaten and taken over by these lumpy-bumpy, scary, larger than need be reptiles from Cuba. Or so I'm told.

This concludes my creature update. :)

Is it just me or do spiders like to show up early on Sunday mornings?

I talked to my mom today and a rather large spider was lounging in her laundry room first thing. She sent it on to spider glory with the help of a fly swatter.

Yesterday I'd had a shower and went into the living room wearing a wrap-around towel that fastens with velcro. My sister said "Jan, there's a HUGE spider on your towel" and I thought she was joking until she leaped off the sofa and ran for the patio door. Off came the towel, with me shaking it at the same time and this enormous brown spider fell off and onto the floor.

It was so big that its body wouldn't fit into my bug wand, so I had to hold the vacuum button down to keep it sucked over the opening and stop it from escaping until I could get to the door, still nekkid, and throw it out.

Too big for the bug wand?

*shudder*

Back when I lived in the woods near Pittsboro, I once had a mouse run down / across my arm in my sleep. I tell you now, that will wake you RIGHT the fuck up.

That ain't nuthin! Once when I was laid low by a nasty ass stomach virus (the kind that double-barrels you, if you take my meaning, and I think you do), a rat climbed OVER MY EYEBALL WHILE I WAS IN BED.

I defy anyone in the joint to come up with a better story than bivalve vomit diarrhea all night, only to be jarred awake on your deathbed by a enormous grey rat crawling over your goddamn eyeball.

I think the word you were searching for is *worse*, not *better*.