MetaChat - euphemisms for guys peeing?

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26 August 2007

euphemisms for guys peeing? Talking to some friends (okay, okay, mudpuppie and mullacc), I said there's tons of euphemisms for guys peeing but not for women... →[More:]

But then I could only think of "drain the lizard" and "see a man about a dog". What else do we have, for either sex?

post by: taz at: 06:00 | 22 comments

Take a slash.

posted by gomichild 26 August | 06:11

My dad always said "see a man about a horse," not a dog.

I like Bart Simpson's "I gotta whizzle."

I think in some old book, I read "making water."

A quick Google (can't believe I'm Googling this!) reveals:
Squirting the dirt
Writing your name on the wall
Making yellow snow
Answering the call of nature
to point percy at the porcelain

posted by IndigoRain 26 August | 06:29

"I have a 2 o'clock appointment."

That one deals with #2, of course.

posted by sciurus 26 August | 07:03

I thought "see a man about a dog" was a synecdoche (I just spent half an hour googling that) for any kind of errand, and not specifically toilet related.

I've always been a fan of "spend a penny", mainly for its extreme prudish obtuseness.

posted by cillit bang 26 August | 07:18

"a fine frenzy"
"the polyphonic spree"

Okay, so these aren't really euphemisms, but band names that could easily qualify for a urination euphemism.

Sue me.

posted by Lipstick Thespian 26 August | 08:00

Female: shake the dew off the lily

posted by danostuporstar 26 August | 08:53

"bleed the lizard" or "bleed the giant"
"drain the main vein"

Ah, highschool, a wonderful time for euphemisms.

posted by doctor_negative 26 August | 09:39

There's a little more to seeing a man about a dog/horse.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/See_a_man_about_a_horse

posted by nthdegx 26 August | 09:58

Female: shake the dew off the lily

I actually kinda like that.

Of course when a woman says she is going to powder her nose she is off to pee.

posted by gomichild 26 August | 10:17

I think it depends on context. In my family "see a man about a horse" was exclusively used about bathroom trips. But obviously for others it has a broader meaning.

Michael Quinion says that since its euphemistic necessity has largely disappeared it's almost always used facetiously, which I would say is true in my family.

posted by dhartung 26 August | 10:19

In Alaska we always called it "watering the trees". Well, whenever we urinated in the woods.

posted by agropyron 26 August | 12:02

The Onion did a little blurb about such euphemisms a couple of years ago.

posted by jason's_planet 26 August | 12:30

Not sure this counts as a euphemism, but for me it's "I gotta pass some urine through my urethra."

Out of my ass - how about "undrink," as in "I have to go undrink this morning's juice."

posted by Hellbient 26 August | 13:00

Hellbient: I like "undrink." Very suave.

A friend said "I've gotta go solve some problems" earlier this year, and it's been my favorite ever since.

posted by me3dia 26 August | 13:28

I sometimes say...

"I gotta return the beer I rented this evening"

[afternoon|morning ... if you're jonmc].

I also use one I recall from an early M*A*S*H episode...

"I'm off to the little general's room." OR
"Can you tell me where the little general's room is, please?"

I like "shake the dew off the lily," dano. Bravo, sir.

posted by terrapin 26 August | 14:02

I'm going to see a dude about a thing...

posted by pieisexactlythree 26 August | 14:44

If I've been drinking, then it's "breaking the seal."

posted by amro 26 August | 14:57

I've always kind of liked, "I'm going to go free Willy"

posted by King of Prontopia 26 August | 18:26

"gotta listen to Urethra"
"gotta lighten the load"
*sigh* "gotta bargain with my prostate"

posted by rob511 26 August | 18:28

I have a buddy who insists on "chucking a piss"...which I've really never got comfy with.

I have also heard the "take a slash" variant. My mom, and grandmother used to ask if we had to "piddle". Weird.

I'm assuming the (in my experience) common, "take a leak" has been heard elsewhere?

posted by richat 26 August | 20:43

There used to be a school supply store here called "the little professor's bookstore." So for me it's "off to the little professor's bookstore." Which probably just creeps people out or confuses them.

posted by craniac 26 August | 20:50

I usually say, "Excuse me, I need to go call my bookie," replacing a socially awkward announcement with a socially unacceptable one.

posted by Hugh Janus 27 August | 09:52

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