MetaChat - TPS and Stynxno not engaged to be married!

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22 August 2007

TPS and Stynxno not engaged to be married! At all! Seriously! No congrats to those crazy kids! I'm not setting up a registry at Target.com, and I hope you all won't get 'em a toaster or whatever!

post by: cortex at: 15:13 | 63 comments

I will not be inviting you all to be my bridesmaids! No shiny green hoop skirts with matching parasols for you!

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 22 August | 15:15

Did I miss something?

posted by bunnyfire 22 August | 15:15

No! Not a thing!

In related news, the sky is not orange and water is not dry.

posted by cortex 22 August | 15:16

Can I not bring a date? No congratulations to you!

posted by PY 22 August | 15:16

Not reading your save the date. Not sending in my RSVP.

posted by PY 22 August | 15:17

If anyone here has any reason why these two should not be wed, please zip it (makes zipping-it gesture), chump, because nobody cares!

posted by box 22 August | 15:18

Sorry, stynxno, we'll have to send that stripper home who has been living at your place. It's time for the staying-a-bachelor party.

posted by mullacc 22 August | 15:19

Here's not wishing them a happy life together!

posted by cortex 22 August | 15:20

I won't be bridesmaid, or have sex with the best man.

posted by essexjan 22 August | 15:20

Not sending good wishes from L.A.! Not wondering if this means another MeCha Wedding Blowout in Vegas, baby, Vegas!

posted by scody 22 August | 15:21

/me reforms all the broken glasses and plates

posted by stynxno 22 August | 15:21

I won't organize TPS's awesome bachelorette party! With lots of pink drinks and musical theater!

posted by gaspode 22 August | 15:22

I won't be held upside down between a stripper's legs!

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 22 August | 15:25

I would like not to say a few words.

posted by cortex 22 August | 15:26

Crap. I can't not return the Hanson towels that were not monogrammed with TPS and S 4EVR....grrr. And what about the flair that I didn't buy for stynxno's caps? This sucks!

posted by iconomy 22 August | 15:27

I offer no toasts to the happy couple.

posted by crush-onastick 22 August | 15:28

No shiny green hoop skirts with matching parasols for you!

/cancels appointment for green sparkley pedicure.

does this mean you're not inviting all your fabulous theatre friends?

posted by lonefrontranger 22 August | 15:28

In the early 70s, Sweet Dick Whittington, the LA radio semi-legend I later went to work for, got himself ordained by the Church of Universal Life and staged a (live on the radio) mass Un-Marriage ceremony for the entire San Fernando Valley suburb of L.A., unofficially renaming it the "Sin" Fernando Valley because everyone there was now "living in sin". (Remember, EARLY 1970s) The ceremony was a series of reverse Wedding rituals, with a half-dozen couples present involved in "throwing back the bouquet" and the "EVERYONE objects" shout-outs. This reminds me of that.

posted by wendell 22 August | 15:30

I'm NOT spreading the rumor that TPS is pregnant (which is why she DOESN'T look so chubby in her gown).

posted by muddgirl 22 August | 15:32

I don't recall how they accomplished the "putting the cake back together" part, but remember, it was RADIO!

posted by wendell 22 August | 15:33

Oi, wendell, have you seen my brother?

posted by cortex 22 August | 15:34

and the brides walking backwards up the aisle may have inspired Michael Jackson's moonwalk schtick...

posted by wendell 22 August | 15:35

No congratulations for you!

posted by brownpau 22 August | 15:36

Standing in the Shadows, cortex?

posted by wendell 22 August | 15:36

This isn't incredibly amazing! I would never congratulate you both!

posted by grouse 22 August | 15:36

It won't all end in tears, mark my words!

posted by cortex 22 August | 15:38

I will not get too loaded to eat the chicken marsala, critique the way the other guests are dressed, then shake my tits furiously to Jungle Boogie.

posted by jrossi4r 22 August | 15:39

Thank god I won't have to miss a wedding between people I know from these not cold impersonal sites, don't have a great time

posted by edgeways 22 August | 15:39

I hope the doomed couple will be very unhappy apart.

posted by wendell 22 August | 15:41

I'm especially happy to not hear that the blushless non-bride will not change her name to ThePinkStynxna.

posted by wendell 22 August | 15:43

We will not do a dollar dance!

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 22 August | 15:44

OPPOSITE SONGS FOR THE UN-WEDDING!

"There Goes the Groom"

"You've Not Only Not Quite Finished"

and of course, that immortal lyric:
"Oh the breakup of your bodies there
has caused Her to go away
for whenever one or less of me
are alone in Her number
there is Hate, there is Hate."

posted by wendell 22 August | 15:52

So, what's the address to not send a huge mess of VHS pornography to? Also, this fake-flesh cockring thing that's totally creepy and sitting around in the office ("love donut" I think it's called).

posted by klangklangston 22 August | 15:54

STYNXNO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

posted by JanetLand 22 August | 15:55

I am not sending you this very classy greeting.

posted by desjardins 22 August | 15:59

I am not unconfused by this thread.

posted by dersins 22 August | 16:06

Not planning on intensifying my weight workouts in unpreparation for jumping out of the cake at the bachelorette party. ..

posted by danf 22 August | 16:06

I won't picture in my mind TPS being held upside down between a stripper's legs! I won't do it! I won't!

...

um

.

posted by mischief 22 August | 16:14

I don't not understand whether TPS and Stynxno are really not engaged.

posted by brina 22 August | 16:15

I am wearing pants.

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 22 August | 16:18

I am not wishing all the best to them, nope, not at all. Not hoping there's a MetaShower sometime when I can actually not attend. Not smiling while I read this sad, lonely thread, nor getting all verklempt.

posted by theora55 22 August | 16:23

I'm not feeling a mixture of guilt and glee for confusing people.

posted by cortex 22 August | 16:29

I'm not bacon.

posted by mudpuppie 22 August | 16:36

i am bacn

posted by wendell 22 August | 16:39

Good, because cortex is TOAST.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 22 August | 16:45

I'm so happy to hear this! Of course I want to hear all about who proposed to whom and when the wedding's going to be and all that. And even though I'm not around as often, I will definitely be sending along a gift, and I will always look back fondly at the meetup I went to where it's almost certain that they got to know each other well for the first time.

Congratulations!

I'm so sad to hear this. Of course I don't want to hear about who broke up with whom and when the pity-party is going to be and all that. And even though I'm here all the time, I will NOT be sending along a gift, and I'll try to forget the meetup I wasn't at where no one's sure that they barely spoke for the last time.

My condolences.

posted by TrishaLynn 22 August | 16:51

OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 22 August | 16:59

I will not do the Electric Slide, or peer through embarrassed hands at the creepy garter dance.

Uncongratulations. You could have been the cutest couple. :)

posted by LoriFLA 22 August | 17:03

OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

More like unnouncement, amirite?

posted by dersins 22 August | 17:29

I will not make cupcakes for everyone attending.

posted by casarkos 22 August | 17:47

Thankfully, I won't be able to judge them based on their prototypical cliche union.

posted by chuckdarwin 22 August | 18:30

I am not overjoyed.

AND I know exactly what is going on here.

posted by jason's_planet 22 August | 18:37

I am not sticking a buck in danf's g-string.

I am not straightening pinky's train.

I am not renting jon that Elvis suit.

posted by Pips 22 August | 18:53

I am not practicing my gyrations and crooning 'Trouble' into a beer bottle.

posted by jonmc 22 August | 18:54

(They do not offer weddings on cruise ships ; )

posted by Pips 22 August | 18:55

I am not wearing a silicone adhesive bra and inappropriate low-backed dress.

posted by taz 22 August | 20:21

I will not get drunk and accuse the wedding guests of never having believed in me. I will not try to make out with random guys in the wedding party. I will not try to take over the DJ booth after the schmuck plays Electric Slide for the third time.

posted by SassHat 22 August | 20:21

Fucking Bizarro Superman.

posted by klangklangston 22 August | 20:24

See, kids, THIS is why you need to Just Say No To Cilantro.

posted by bunnyfire 22 August | 20:42

I will not be wearing my orange swan costume to your wedding.

posted by Orange Swan 22 August | 22:38

Not looking up their page on theknot.com and not sending a place setting.

posted by brujita 22 August | 23:21

Many unhappy returns! Get unwell soon!

posted by trondant 22 August | 23:25

Elvis has not left the building.

posted by Pips 23 August | 11:45

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