MetaChat - Dang. I just had an overwhelming urge to eat ....

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21 August 2007

Dang. I just had an overwhelming urge to eat .... JUNKFOOD. I don't even know what kind of junky junkfood I want. Something weird... like Arbees or a McDonald's fish sandwich. Nothing so relatively normal as pizza. →[More:]

Ain't gonna happen, because I'm not venturing out in 95F to seek it out... whatever it is (and it's probably not available here, anyway). But, give me your lovely junkfood inspirations nevertheless. (for titillation.)

post by: taz at: 07:36 | 44 comments

A Yoohoo and a 7-11 chili dog; you extrude your own cheese and chili from the pumps behind the Slurpee machine.

Or, how about this: a cup of office coffee (the bad kind) and a Nutri-Grain bar (they aren't very good for you). That's what I'm having. It's free junk.

Lamb fries and mountain oysters? (Junk food, get it?)

posted by Hugh Janus 21 August | 07:45

Oh, wow. I could totally eat an awful-awful 7-11 chili dog with cheezelike gunk oozed onto it. That's the brain, Hugh!

(I can't be pregnant. Mr. Man hasn't been around enough - even if we could work the baby thing at this advanced stage of the game... and there's no other possibility. Maybe I'm just heatcrazy again.)

posted by taz 21 August | 07:51

Our local RaceTrac gas station has these little chicken-and-jalapeno "taquitos," which are just chicken, cheese, and peppers wrapped in a little tortilla tube, and then fried or baked or something.

These things are like crack to me. I've stopped going there just because I can't help walking out with two of those things and a Coke Zero...

posted by BoringPostcards 21 August | 07:55

I just had a sandwich and some crisps: not the healthy option :-(

posted by chuckdarwin 21 August | 08:02

Oh, nice! Taquitos sound perfect, too.

My only serious junk food thing that I absolutely had to overcome (when I was in the U.S.) was... um... shit. I can't even remember what they were called - those little sausage biscuits from, I think, Burger King? Very crack-like. I would get one on the way to work every morning for a while. About 10 pounds worth a while. eee!

I was also overly fond of Popeye's Red Beans and Rice, but I could keep that to about once a month. Real red beans and rice, I had much more often, but I think Popeye's was ridiculously good because it was cooked in the rendered fat of infant Buddhas or something, so I had to cut way back.

posted by taz 21 August | 08:04

The only junk food item I am powerless to resist is a donut, filled with red jelly, and glazed. My coworkers know this and are merciless.

I literally have to have one if I see it. Any other donut, I can take or (most usually) leave.

posted by danf 21 August | 08:09

heh. I like the "red jelly" thing. It's not a particular flavor that you crave, but a particular color?

I can get behind that. I'm afraid I'm in the mood to eat white and orange... two of the deadliest colors on the menu!

posted by taz 21 August | 08:29

All the above sound positively gourmet!

Why not go for some hard junk? Pizza crunch, say.

posted by jack_mo 21 August | 08:31

salt. you want salt. something bad, greasy and salty. I'm always drawn to the big "fat fries" (ha!) at a place near here - they put the best seasoned salt on em.... mmmm.

posted by mightshould 21 August | 08:32

One of my favorite things to do is a junk food day. Videogames, processed cheese food, snack crackers, cookies, whiskey&cokes, gummi bears, jalepeno poppers. . . . But I rarely get this urge when it's hot outside.

soon I will replace the absconded Playstation! I'm so happy!

posted by crush-onastick 21 August | 08:35

jack_mo, Don't! Stop! Don't... stop! don't! stop?

posted by taz 21 August | 08:41

Closest I get to junk food is a baby ruth. Or reese's. Or 3 musketeers. I can't do the fried stuff. Grease does not agree with me. :/

posted by chewatadistance 21 August | 08:48

What about a Glasgow special:- Battered and deep fried Mars bar?

posted by Wilder 21 August | 08:50

How about a halv special? It's a Gothenburg speciality consisting of a hot dog in a bun with big scoops of mashed potato on top. Apparently, this man’s is the biggest there is.

posted by misteraitch 21 August | 09:01

I don't really go for these sort of things, but you could try matching your craving to your dietary needs:

posted by seanyboy 21 August | 09:05

My kryptonite is a tube of original Pringles, those things are fricken deadly, if left unattended I can eat a whole tube of those without realizing it. It's not that they taste so great, I just seem to have a sinister link with them.

posted by King of Prontopia 21 August | 09:07

Chewie, and Wilder - I'm a "savory" rather than "sweet" temptee. I like nice sweets sometimes, but they never really intrude as yearning. Nine times out of ten, I'll have a dessert because my husband really wants something, and he wants us to have it together. Once in a blue moon I'll get a killer-dark chocolate bar, a few cookies, or maybe some ice cream when he's not around, but it's on the order of once every few months.

Almost always when I'm possessed by a totally-not-good-for-you yen, it's gonna be fried/meat-something/carbo bad.

misteraitch, I want that right now. NOW. Gimmee.

posted by taz 21 August | 09:07

Bacon roll with brown sauce
Irn Bru
Creme egg for dessert

posted by By the Grace of God 21 August | 09:09

This thread is useless without jonmc's flikr stream.

Wait!

BtGoG has done with words that which only jonmc... etc.

posted by GeckoDundee 21 August | 09:17

I was watching the Travel Chanel the other night - there was a great show called Unusual Foods or something like that. This Andrew guy travels the world looking for insane, unusual, revolting and disgusting food. Also good food. His only rule is that he has to at least take one bite of something. He had chicken bones and chicken butts and rooster testicles and poisonous blowfish in China, and octopus sashimi and spirulina straight from the pond and still beating frog hearts in Japan. In Thailand he found a place that served food that was, like, decades old - eggs and shrimp and stuff. He ate that. He found another place that served something called Stinky Tofu that seemed to be prepared to be as disgusting and smelly as possibly. He ate that - he gagged on it, but he did manage to swallow one bite. He went out fishing somewhere and caught a swordfish and bit right into it as soon as he took it off the hook. After it was fileted, he reached in and grabbed the heart and put salt and lime on it and ate it. Just so you understand that this guy has no boundaries.

He was defeated by durian. In Thailand. He gagged on the smell and valiantly tried to forge ahead and swallow a handful of it, but he spit it out and couldn't put it back in his mouth. He said it smelled really foul and that it tasted liked really rotten, mushy onions. Couldn't swallow.

Anyone here like it? It smells like farts mixed with natural gas, and it tastes like farts mixed with natural gas too.

Are you still hungry, taz? Huh, are ya? :P

posted by iconomy 21 August | 09:22

hahaha! Ico you made me lol. Actually you made me lol-x (laugh out loud - extended period).

Well, the truth is, no matter what evil cravings I have at the moment, what I'm really going to eat is a tuna/romaine/tomato/avocado salad... which is pretty much exactly what I would want on a hot summer day, on almost any hot summer day ever... unless maybe I would have it with some sliced mushroom and perhaps a little Roquefort instead of tuna. But, you know - like that.

The BADFOOD craving is so rare, I can't remember the last time I felt this way (non-hangover).

posted by taz 21 August | 09:34

grosss, ico!!

posted by chewatadistance 21 August | 10:10

Ico, I saw that show! My son loves it; we watched the stinky tofu one.

I'm like taz - sweets don't appeal to me all that much. It's salty, fried, fatty things that I go for every time. Like jalapeno poppers, particularly the cream cheese ones. They've got your spicy, your cheesy and your deep fried goodness. Mmmmmmmm. . .

posted by mygothlaundry 21 August | 10:32

Ah. I didn't notice seanyboy's comment before. According to the chart, what I want is Mustard and turnip greens, broccoli, kale, legumes, cheese, sesame, and Raw goat milk, fish, unrefined sea salt.

Well, I always want greens, but right now they are not that easy to find, and I'm not going fire up the stove to cook them, so I'm having raw dark lettuce greens, and arugula when I can find it. Broccoli isn't available at all, and I've been wanting it (occhi's arrabiata, oh yeah)... kale? I don't know if we even have that. Or maybe I have it all the time but it's called something else.

Legumes? Love 'em. Not firing up the stove. Cheese. Do Want. Do have. Sesame? Well... I often add some sesame oil when I stirfry, which is often. Raw goat milk? Who the hell normally has raw goat's milk???? I have goat feta, though. Do. Love. Fish? Eh. Not so much, because it's usually so expensive. But, yes - do want. Sea salt is pretty much all the salt we use here. Not unrefined, probably, but I do have a salt grinder with sea salt in it... which is probably unrefined. Especially if "refined" means ground up into teenytiny useful granules, instead of grind-grind-grind-grind for about a half-hour until your arm goes numb, to salt the soup. ;)

posted by taz 21 August | 10:32

I don't even know what a jalapeno popper is, but I'm pretty certain that I need one, badly.

posted by taz 21 August | 10:43

Jalepeno, stuffed with cream cheese, breaded and deep fried. Ummm. I might need one, too.

posted by crush-onastick 21 August | 10:55

our needs are... colliding. *sigh!*

posted by taz 21 August | 10:58

I think I'll make some salsa and guacamole when I get home in a few. Black bean burritos with napolitas, anyone?

posted by chuckdarwin 21 August | 11:03

Just deep fry everything.
EVERYTHING.
Eggsrolls and things filled with cheeses and batter coated everything.
Or some impeccably light tempura of seafoods and vegetables.
i was just reading of a place that does nothing but batter fry foods in the crispiest least oil absorbent way. In NY or Chi or someplace i'm not.
It's worth going to places that fry so that my life doesn't smell like oil for the next lifetime.
Personally, i'm going to have some roast beef on homemade bread with tomatoes and such or some chicken picked off the carcass with in torillas or whatever can make it in my gullet before am too weak to assemble food.

posted by ethylene 21 August | 11:07

My most favourite junk food is an Elvis special - a sandwich of peanut butter, banana and (preferably) marmalade or, if no marmalade, then honey.

posted by essexjan 21 August | 11:17

Thanks to #bunnies I have a craving for feta cheese and olives. Neither of which are in my apartment at 1am.

Still beating frog hearts? Damn it's actually pretty tricky to find frog here - I love it and have been searching. I love eating frog congee when I go to Singapore! Durian though is something else. The smell is everywhere!

I guess every country has that odd food item that you have to grow up with to like. Australians have Vegemite, Japan has natto, Singapore has durian, and America has that freaky cheese in a can. None of these really cross over very well.

posted by gomichild 21 August | 11:20

Dastardly foreigners don't appreciate the glory that is Cheez-Whiz? They must be insane!

posted by mygothlaundry 21 August | 11:23

Oh crap, this thread is killing me. And I brought a home-made salad for lunch. Ah well, I put my favourite cheese in it (Bucheron) so it will be tasty.

Right about now what I really want is some jalapeno poppers though. And some Baltimore Wings (chicken wings with old bay and butter). yum!

posted by gaspode 21 August | 11:32

I are hung over. Need all these things. Please. Am weak with hunger. Please, someone, deliver me something.

posted by Specklet 21 August | 11:53

Someone start the international funnel cake and feep fried chocolate covered strawberries cartel with a full deep fried dumplings and batter coated appetizer menu.
Cheese to please you, the Night Bus could have a portable fryer and run on the biodeisel...
Who's gonna find me a salvage bus and a fry cook?
Cuz i ain't soaking fry grease outta my pores everyday.

posted by ethylene 21 August | 12:05

i just grossed myself out.
i'm going to have a fresh juicy peach to cleanse my mental palatte.
It's too freaking humind.

posted by ethylene 21 August | 12:06

"humind" is when it's hot and sticky ... in your mind.

It's pretty humind here, too, eth.

posted by taz 21 August | 12:09

i need to check my head
and make some phone calls
Waiting for stupid people to show up is going to takes a few more hours at least, grrrrr--
The heat be rising again but i loathe to turn on the dreaded acs again. Using the oven yesterday suddenly blasted my cool into a nauseous reaction.
Someone needs to soak us in berries.

posted by ethylene 21 August | 12:24

The only junk food item I am powerless to resist is a donut, filled with red jelly, and glazed.

Thanks to a long-ago Spy magazine article, I invariably think of red-jelly or yellow-jelly Danishes and donuts as "slutty." This association is reinforced by the fact that I encounter such pastries almost exclusively at hotel or convention breakfast buffets where they lie around unattended and languid on cheap black plastic trays besmeared with sticky fingerprint, like so many low-echelon odalisques among the sugar-glazed cinnamon rolls.

It in no way mininishes my desire to cram my mouth with big bites of said donut or Danish, swig it around with slurps of hot sweet coffee, and feel my bloodstream clog with sugar. Oooooooh.

posted by Elsa 21 August | 13:02

I'm surrounded by places selling amazing gelato and all I ever crave are those soft-serve "ice cream" cones, with that weird waxy "chocolate" coating on them.

posted by small_ruminant 21 August | 13:05

I was also overly fond of Popeye's Red Beans and Rice, but I could keep that to about once a month.

I can't let that go without posting the soundtrack for the craving: Dirty, Dirty Rice.

posted by mudpuppie 21 August | 15:17

This thread made me hungry too. For a pizza bagel. Or bagel dog. Or corn dog. Or mmmm...mozzarepa!

posted by PY 21 August | 15:18

He was defeated by durian.
In Indoesia, they say it "tastes like heaven, but smells like hell" Apparently, if you can get past the smell, the taste is awesome. THere is a good reason why durian is banned in all forms of public transport there, because it does smell truly awful.

posted by dg 21 August | 19:49

Beef chow fun. IHOP's cream of wheat pancakes--they had to change the name to country griddle. Real tuna melts, which can only be found at Amy's bread and Johnny Rockets in NY.

posted by brujita 21 August | 23:41

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