MetaChat - SHOUTING THREAD!

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01 August 2007

SHOUTING THREAD! →[More:]THE FRONT DESK PERSON WHO I HIRED LESS THAN A FRIGGING MONTH AGO JUST QUIT BECAUSE SHE GOT A BETTER JOB. NOW I HAVE TO HIRE SOMEBODY ELSE AND IN THE MEANTIME I HAVE TO TRY TO DO MY JOB WHILE DOING HERS AS WELL WHICH ENTAILS SITTING AT THE FRONT DESK BEING NICE TO PEOPLE (WHICH IS NOT MY FORTE ANYWAY) AND THAT MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO WORK AT ALL AND FUCK, FUCK, FUCKITY FUCK FUCK.

ALSO, I PRETTY MUCH GOT DUMPED LAST WEEK IF YOU CAN BE DUMPED FROM A WEIRD ON AGAIN OFF AGAIN ROMANCE. AND IT IS PAINFUL AND I WISH I HAD NEVER EVER HAD SEX IN THE FIRST PLACE OR DABBLED IN ROMANCE AT ALL BUT INSTEAD GONE AND LOCKED MYSELF IN A NICE QUIET MEDIEVAL CONVENT IN THE LOIRE VALLEY WHERE I COULD NEITHER BE HURT NOR HURT ANYONE. LOVE STINKS.

post by: mygothlaundry at: 09:38 | 54 comments

MY FUCKING MOUTH HURTS

posted by cortex 01 August | 09:47

I AM DOING AN EXPERIMENT THAT DOESN'T REQUIRE ANY THOUGHT BUT DOES REQUIRE ME TO DO STUFF EVERY 15 MINUTES ALL DAY! WHEN WILL I EAT LUNCH??

posted by gaspode 01 August | 09:52

I'VE BEEN WORKING ON THIS GOD DAMNED PROJECT FOR 7 WEEKS NOW GOING OVER AND OVER AND OVER THE SAME GROUND BECAUSE MY GOD DAMNED BOSSES CAN'T AGREE ON ANYTHING AND NOW WE HAVE LESS THAN THREE WEEKS TO FINISH AND THEY'RE ALL IN A PANIC! WELL DUH, MORONS! AT SOME POINT YOU HAVE TO AGREE AND LET US GET ON WITH IT, ALREADY!!!

posted by BoringPostcards 01 August | 09:55

I'm not sleeping well, so very tired. My boss WILL NOT DO ANYTHING he's suppose to do and everyone KEEPS CALLING ME ABOUT IT. And, all I want to do IS EAT JUNK FOOD!

posted by mightshould 01 August | 09:56

SUMMER COLDS ARE AN AFFRONT AGAINST ALL THINGS RIGHT AND GOOD! WHY IN GOD'S NAME MUST I BE FEVERISH AND UNABLE TO BREATHE WHEN IT IS 90+ DEGREES?

(Also, sympathy to MGL, and I am joining you in the Convent of the Holy Sisters of Love Stinks.)

posted by kat allison 01 August | 10:14

MY NECK IS KILLING ME.

posted by chuckdarwin 01 August | 10:18

RELATIVE CLUSTERING OF INDEPENDENT, STAND-ALONE RISK SEGMENTS IS EASY TO IMPLEMENT, BUT SUFFERS IN LONG-TERM EXECUTION, AS CONSIDERATION OF EACH INDEPENDENT DIMENSION LAGS FURTHER FROM THE OPTIMUM!!!

posted by Hugh Janus 01 August | 10:18

BUT SUFFERS IN LONG-TERM EXECUTION

Har har!

posted by mightshould 01 August | 10:21

WHO COULD POSSIBLY NOT LOVE MGL? HE MUST BE AN ALIEN OR SOME TYPE OF EVIL SHAPESHIFTER IMPERSONATING A HUMAN, FOR NO MORTAL MAN COULD WITHSTAND YOUR CHARMS!!! UP HIS ASS WITH A PIECE OF GLASS, AS MY LATE GRANDMOTHER WOULD SAY! (Yell it with a heavy Loretta Lynn-type Kentucky accent like she used to. It's both fun and theraputic.)

posted by jrossi4r 01 August | 10:32

ISN'T THERE ANOTHER LINE AFTER THAT "PIECE OF GLASS" LINE? I REMEMBER THAT FROM CHILDHOOD BUT CAN'T RECALL LINE 2. IT ALSO RHYMED BUT IT WAS "BUTT" OR "BUM" INSTEAD OF "ASS" I THINK.

I WISH I HAD NEVER EVER HAD SEX IN THE FIRST PLACE OR DABBLED IN ROMANCE AT ALL BUT INSTEAD GONE AND LOCKED MYSELF IN A NICE QUIET MEDIEVAL CONVENT IN THE LOIRE VALLEY WHERE I COULD NEITHER BE HURT NOR HURT ANYONE.

YES, I AM WITH YOU THERE. LET'S START OUR OWN ORDER OF SECONDARY-VIRGINAL FIRE GODDESS WORSHIPPERS WHO TRAVEL THE WORLD DOING GOOD WORKS, EATING AWESOME FOOD, AND DRINKING GREAT WINE.

posted by Miko 01 August | 10:57

UP YOUR NOSE WITH A RUBBER HOSE!
...EAR...CAN OF BEER!
...BUTT...ROTTEN COCONUT!

posted by Hugh Janus 01 August | 11:19

IT IS RAINING AND THUNDERING! IT IS NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT ON MY VACATION! AND I'M TRYING TO SET UP ORGANIST AUDITIONS FOR MY CHURCH, AND NOBODY IS GETTING BACK TO ME! COME ON YOU PEOPLE, I DON'T HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD!

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 01 August | 11:32

EVERYONE ELSE IS MORE SUCCESSFUL AND INDEPENDENT AND DOING COOLER STUFF THAN ME.

posted by casarkos 01 August | 11:36

MY FUCKING MOUTH HURTS

I think you're doing it wrong...

posted by AwkwardPause 01 August | 11:46

SOMEONE'S BEING A DICK BUT I'M NOT IN A POSITION WHERE I CAN DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!!!! MY LAWYER TOLD ME TO GET IN TOUCH WITH THE PEOPLE WHO DAMAGED MY CARPETS AND I'VE SENT AN EMAIL TO THEM WITH THE REPORTS BUT THEY HAVEN'T SAID ANYTHING!!! I NEED TO CLEAN UP MY PLACE BUT ALL I WANT TO DO IS SLEEP!!! THE NEW NO-TOUCH TRAPS DON'T WORK WITH MICE--THE ONLY THING THAT WORKED FOR THE ONE IN MY HALL CLOSET WAS TO DENY IT A WATER SOURCE FOR TWO DAYS, AFTER WHICH IT CROAKED!

posted by brujita 01 August | 12:00

I HAVE A GLASS SPLINTER IN THE BALL OF MY FOOT AND I CANNOT GET IT OUT!

A DEAR FRIEND IS MAKING AN IMPROMPTU VISIT THIS AFTERNOON, WHICH IS GREAT. MY BACK INJURY KEPT ME FROM CLEANING THE APARTMENT FOR HER VISIT, BECAUSE WE'RE CLOSE AND SHE'LL UNDERSTAND. BUT SHE JUST TOLD ME SHE'S BRINGING A CASUAL FRIEND OF MINE, TOO, WHO I'D RATHER NOT SEE ME OR MY HOME LIKE THIS.

ALSO, SOMETHING BIGGER AND BADDER AND UNDISCLOSABLE. BUT TAKE MY WORD FOR IT: IT SUCKS.

LET'S START OUR OWN ORDER OF SECONDARY-VIRGINAL FIRE GODDESS WORSHIPPERS WHO TRAVEL THE WORLD DOING GOOD WORKS, EATING AWESOME FOOD, AND DRINKING GREAT WINE.

OOOH. CAN I HOST A STOP ON THE GLOBAL CRUSADE?

posted by Elsa 01 August | 12:16

OH, CRAP, AND THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN "WHOM"!

posted by Elsa 01 August | 12:25

(((MGL))) MRS CHEWIE HIT A WALL TODAY WITH HER RECUPE FROM KNEE SURGERY AND SHE IS SAD! I SERVED HER A NICE SALAD ON HER BEDSIDE TRAY IN HOPES OF CHEERING HER UP. *SNIFF* ANY OTHER CHEER UP SUGGESTIONS WELCOME!

posted by chewatadistance 01 August | 12:30

I PUT A DOLLAR MOTHERFUCKING TWENTY-FIVE IN THE SODA MACHINE, HIT THE MOUNTAIN DEW BUTTON, AND WHAT COMES OUT? SIERRA GODDAMN MIST, FOR THE SAKE OF FUCK! WHAT SHITHEEL OF A SODA-MACHINE-FILLER-UPPER DOESN'T SEE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MOUNTAIN DEW, GREEN, NUCLEAR WITH CAFFEINE, AND SUGARY, AND SIERRA MIST, A PALE BLUISH TASTELESS SAP OF A SUGAR-FREE DRINK FOR DIPS WHO JUST WANT PHENYLALANINE AND BUBBLES WITH THEIR WATER? EAT A DICK, SODA DISTRIBUTOR MAN! NOW I'VE WASTED A BUCK AND A QUARTER, I HAVE NO BLESSED TEARY SUGAR RUSH COURSING THROUGH ME, NO CAFFEINE TO KNOCK THE BREAKFAST OUT OF ME, AND I'M ACTUALLY CONSIDERING GOING TO THE RIPOFF ARTIST IN THE LOBBY NEWSSTAND TO BUY A DEW FOR, GET THIS, A FUCKING DOLLAR MOTHERFUCKING FIFTY DOGFUCKING CENTS! FOR A GRAND TOTAL OF TWO PISSFUCKING DOLLARS AND SEVENTY GODDAMN FIVE MOOSEDICK CENTS, GODDAMN IT TO HELL AND FUCK AND BACK! SHIT!

posted by Hugh Janus 01 August | 12:31

YES, I AM WITH YOU THERE. LET'S START OUR OWN ORDER OF SECONDARY-VIRGINAL FIRE GODDESS WORSHIPPERS WHO TRAVEL THE WORLD DOING GOOD WORKS, EATING AWESOME FOOD, AND DRINKING GREAT WINE.

I AM IN. JUST LET ME KNOW THE TIME AND LOCATION.

I SPILLED HAND GOO ALL OVER MY FAVOURITE SKIRT THIS MORNING AND NOW I GET TO SPEND THE WHOLE DAY WALKING AROUND SMELLING LIKE CUCUMBER AND CHEMICALS.

posted by jokeefe 01 August | 12:34

Miko: I AM *SO* IN

CASKAROS: I AM *SO* NOT

posted by crush-onastick 01 August | 13:21

I AM WRITING ONE OF THOSE "LIFE CHANGING" EMAILS THAT MIGHT END UP CAUSING A MOVE TO A FOREIGN COUNTRY WITH A NEW JOB BUT THE WORDS JUST WON'T COME OUT RIGHT AND OH GOD THIS IS STRESSFULL.

posted by cmonkey 01 August | 13:48

I CANNOT GET THIS FUCKING AXE TO KEEP AN EDGE AND I DEARLY NEED TO SEPARATE THIS ONE MOTHERFUCKERS HEAD FROM THE REST OF HIS BODY.

posted by Divine_Wino 01 August | 14:34

LET'S START OUR OWN ORDER OF SECONDARY-VIRGINAL FIRE GODDESS WORSHIPPERS WHO TRAVEL THE WORLD DOING GOOD WORKS, EATING AWESOME FOOD, AND DRINKING GREAT WINE.

That's how I spent much of the last decade. It was fun for sure, but I'm up for a change.

posted by tangerine 01 August | 14:52

I JUST BOUGHT A MOUNTAIN DEW FROM THAT FUCKER DOWNSTAIRS; HE CHARGED ME A BUCK FIFTY BUT I GUESS IT'S WORTH IT, MY HEADACHE IS GONE, I'M NOT FALLING ASLEEP, AND I'M ABOUT TO TAKE A POWERFUL CRAP IN THE EXECUTIVE WASHROOM! I DRANK THE SIERRA MIST AND ALL IT GAVE ME WAS A HAND JOB AND A TICKET FOR A FREE VEGETARIAN MEAL COURTESY OF THE BHAGWAN. FUCKERS!

posted by Hugh Janus 01 August | 14:58

MY EX-HUSBAND OWES ME $50,000, HAD NO PLANS TO PAY ME BY YESTERDAY, WHICH WAS THE DATE SET IN OUR DIVORCE DECREE, AND THINKS I'M BEING MEAN BY GETTING PISSED OFF AT HIM ABOUT THE SITUATION.

MY LOVE LIFE HAS BEEN ON HOLD FOR THREE MONTHS BECAUSE MY SWEETIE WENT AWAY FOR THE SUMMER RIGHT AS WE WERE ON THE VERGE OF BECOMING BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND. NOW HE'LL BE BACK IN 2 WEEKS AND I'M PLAGUED WITH DOUBTS ABOUT HIM AND THE RELATIONSHIP.

I'M OUT OF CIGARETTES.

posted by Twiggy 01 August | 15:03

HEY, ANNOYING COWORKER IN THE NEXT CUBICLE, STOP TALKING TO YOUR BOYFRIEND IN THAT NASTY TONE OF VOICE AND CALLING HIM NAMES WITHIN MY EARSHOT! IT'S DISRESPECTFUL TO HIM AND IRRITATING TO ME AND I CAN'T KEEP GETTING UP AND LEAVING THE ROOM WHILE YOU WHALE ON HIM, I'VE GOT WORK TO DO!!

posted by initapplette 01 August | 15:07

GUY I KNOW'S BROTHER GOT IN A CANOE DEPRESSED AND DRUNK WITH NO PADDLE AND SET HIMSELF ADRIFT. I SUPPOSE HE GETS STYLE POINTS, BUT IT SUCKS AND I FEEL HELPLESS AND OOGIE AS I ALWAYS DO AROUND STOOPID DEATH.

THAT SUCKS TWIGGY!

posted by rainbaby 01 August | 15:14

AUUUGGHH THE GIRL WHO'S QUITTING LEFT A .PDF OF HER NEW SALARY RANGE UP ON THIS COMPUTER AND GODDAMN IF SHE ISN'T GOING TO BE MAKING ALMOST 10K MORE THAN ME! AAAAUGGGHHH I MAKE WAY LESS THAN A SECOND YEAR PUBLIC SCHOOL TEACHER IN RURAL VIRGINIA WHO IS, TO ADD INSULT TO INJURY, ABOUT HALF MY AGE! AUUGGGHHH!!

LET'S START OUR OWN ORDER OF SECONDARY-VIRGINAL FIRE GODDESS WORSHIPPERS WHO TRAVEL THE WORLD DOING GOOD WORKS, EATING AWESOME FOOD, AND DRINKING GREAT WINE

THIS IS A GREAT IDEA EXCEPT FOR THE GOOD DEEDS PART. I'M OVER GOOD DEEDS. I HAVE DONE ENOUGH AND THEY HAVE GOTTEN ME NOWHERE. I WANT TO COMMIT SOME CRIMES. I WANT TO MAKE A LOT OF MONEY AND BE TOTALLY, BEAUTIFULLY EVIL SOMEWHAT ALONG THE LINES OF CRUELLA DE VILLE BUT WITHOUT, YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY BEING MEAN TO PUPPIES.

posted by mygothlaundry 01 August | 15:28

ALSO THE MUSEUM IS FULL OF SHRIEKING, ILL BEHAVED CHILDREN! ANY MINUTE NOW, THERE IS GONNA BE A WHOLE LOTTA THROTTLIN' GOIN' ON!!

posted by mygothlaundry 01 August | 15:34

I AM UP FOR THE GOOD WORKS AND AWESOME FOOD, BUT NOT THE WINE OR FOR THAT MATTER THE VIRGINAL BIT. I'VE HAD TWO YEARS OF CELIBACY AND WANT TO START GETTING IT ON AGAIN.

posted by essexjan 01 August | 15:34

≡ Click to see image ≡MGL, LET'S GO STEAL STUFF!

posted by Hugh Janus 01 August | 15:37

THE KID IS RUNNING AROUND WITH A METAL BUCKET ON HER HEAD. SHE IS DANCING WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY:
*BLOWING THROW A FLEXI-TIBE TO MAKE THE HIGHEST LOUDEST WHISTLE POSSIBLE
*HUMMING
*KEEPING THE BEAT BY HITTING THE BUCKET ON HER HEAD WITH a SMALL PLASTIC JOUSTING LANCE
*SLAPPING THE HIPPITY HOP LIKE A BONGO

I'M GONNA LOSE MY DAMN MIND!!!

posted by jrossi4r 01 August | 15:42

THROTTLE MINE FIRST MGL!!!

posted by jrossi4r 01 August | 15:43

HAHA THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN! I'M GONNA DO THAT HERE IN MY OFFICE UNTIL I GET FIRED OR SOMEONE COMES ALONG TO JOUST! WHAT A WAY TO LOSE YOUR MIND!

posted by Hugh Janus 01 August | 15:43

BUT WAIT, HOW DO I SLAP THE HIPPITY HOP?

posted by Hugh Janus 01 August | 15:45

Gently and preferrably in private.

posted by jrossi4r 01 August | 15:54

I'm sure you could find someone to do that for you, HJ, if you were so inclined. ; )

posted by Pips 01 August | 17:42

I HAVE A HEADACHE.

posted by deborah 01 August | 18:38

My hippity-hop (horse style, not ball and ring style) gave me orgasms as a child.

posted by rainbaby 01 August | 18:42

MY COMPANY LAID OFF 13 PEOPLE IN MY DEPARTMENT YESTERDAY! I'M STILL HERE BUT IT'S GOING TO BE A BUMPY RIDE FOR A FEW MONTHS!

ON THE PLUS SIDE, I DID THE HIPPITY HOP FOR THE FIRST TIME WITH MY NEW GUY LAST NIGHT, YAY!

posted by matildaben 01 August | 18:44

ATTENTION MANAGERS OF EUROPEAN AIRLINES: CAN YOU PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, OFFER A FLIGHT FROM LONDON TO RIGA THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE A THREE-HOUR STOP IN OSLO OR COPENHAGEN, AND THAT MAKES BETTER USE OF MY TIME AFTER SITTING ON A FLIGHT FROM LOS ANGELES FOR 11 HOURS? RAAAWWWR!

posted by mdonley 01 August | 18:49

AM I THE ONLY GODDAMN PERSON ON METACHAT WHO ISN'T IN A RELATIONSHIP? ALL THESE RELATIONSHIP POSTS TODAY, WITH THE HIPPIN' AND THE HOPPIN' AND THE BIPPIN' AND THE BOPPIN', ARE MAKING ME SAD AND LONELY!

posted by box 01 August | 18:56

GOOD LORD.

I'D REGALE THE HEALING POWERS OF A GOOD HARD DRUNKENESS BUT I'M TOO TIRED. NOT HUNG OVER, JUST TIRED.
I'M ALL FOR THE GOOD FOOD AND BONKING TOUR OR WHATEVER IT IS NOW.
DOES IT START AT BUNNYFEST OR END THERE?
SHOULD I KEEP MAKING THE ONE OF THE TWO POSTERS FOR IT WITH MIKE IN SOME FRAZETTA POSE WITH BIG HEAVY METAL FONTS?

posted by ethylene 01 August | 19:02

I'M WITH YOU BOX. THOUGH NOT WITH WITH YOU, BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE WEIRD AND WE WOULDN'T BE SAD AND LONELY TO SHOUT ABOUT IT HERE.

SHOUT IS A WEIRD WORD.

posted by casarkos 01 August | 19:40

I LOVED MY HIPPETY-HOP!!! WAS SHE OUTSIDE OR IN JROSSI4R? THE SUPER TOLD ME THAT THE WALL AND CEILING IN MY OFFICE WILL HAVE TO BE BROKEN IN TWO PLACES!! THAT SUCKS, MGL!! I'M NOT INVOLVED WITH ANYONE BUT I WANT SOMEONE WHO KNOWS I'M A PERSON FIRST. COMFORT OR PASSION? I DON'T KNOW.....

posted by brujita 01 August | 23:41

THEY HAVE TO BREAK THE WALLS AND THE CEILINGS??? SCARY!

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 02 August | 00:13

AM I THE ONLY GODDAMN PERSON ON METACHAT WHO ISN'T IN A RELATIONSHIP? ALL THESE RELATIONSHIP POSTS TODAY, WITH THE HIPPIN' AND THE HOPPIN' AND THE BIPPIN' AND THE BOPPIN', ARE MAKING ME SAD AND LONELY!

RELATIONSHIPS ARE FOR PEOPLE WHO AREN'T INTERESTING ENOUGH ON THEIR OWN SO THEY NEED SOMEONE ELSE TO "COMPLETE THEM". THERE. I SAID IT.

yeah I'm single.

posted by cmonkey 02 August | 01:20

HAVING TO BREAK IN A NEW PENIS MAY BE MORE BOTHER THAN IT'S WORTH. AT LEAST THE LAPPING WAVES OF HYPERSEXUALITY HAVE SUBMERGED UNDER THE SWELLS OF MALAISE.
FINDING A SUITABLE ONE IS BOTHER ENOUGH WITHOUT THE ADJUSTMENT PERIOD.

posted by ethylene 02 August | 01:44

THE WORD 'MALAISE' ALWAYS MAKES ME THINK OF JIMMY CARTER. WHICH, 'LUST IN MY HEART' ASIDE, ISN'T REALLY A TURN-ON.

posted by box 02 August | 07:01

I TOOK MY KIDS TO A WATER PARK YESTERDAY DURING MY VACATION. ENDED UP GETTING PUMMELED, SHOVED, KNOCKED INTO, MOCKED, AND JUST PLAIN IRRITATED BY OTHER INCONSIDERATE SCUMBAG BASTARDS AND THEIR EVIL SPAWN. WHY, OH WHY WOULD ANYONE BRING A ONE-MONTH-OLD BABY TO A WATERPARK ON A 90 DEGREE DAY???!!!! LUNCH FOR FIVE PEOPLE COST $62.00!!!!! AND IT'S NOT LIKE WE ATE STEAK!!! A BOTTLE OF WATER WAS $3.50!!!!!! AND FAR TOO MANY PEOPLE OUT THERE WEAR BATHING SUITS THAT THEY REALLY SHOULDN'T!!!!

posted by redvixen 02 August | 08:03

THEY SHOULD BE NAKED?!!

posted by Hugh Janus 02 August | 10:05

YIKES, NO, BUT PLEASE CHOOSE YOUR BATHING SUITS MORE WISELY!! A LITTLE MORE FABRIC IS NOT A BAD THING.

posted by redvixen 02 August | 13:00

NOT SCARY BUT AN INCONVENIENCE---THE OFFICE, ITS BATHROOM AND KITCHEN ARE NOT THE ORIGINAL LAYOUT.

posted by brujita 02 August | 13:08

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