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26 July 2007

Man, what a shitty couple months. (Long, ranty rant inside.)[More:]

Met a girl, fell hard, got dumped, tried the 'friends' thing, found out that she's an even worse friend and possibly even a not-very-good person. It kick-started a big dose of hope after not having (or needing) any for a while, which then all went away very suddenly. This leaves one's head spinning.

Now, fast-forward. Have spent a few weeks working through that shit. My mom (who, for those of you who haven't followed along, has been diagnosed with a rare pulmonary disease) goes to see a congenital heart defect specialist for the recently-discovered hole/misdirected vein in her heart. She'd been told by the cardiologist that surgery was probably not necessary -- that it wouldn't fix the problem and would be high-risk. The specialist though, tells her yesterday that surgery is the ONLY option, that it WILL fix the problem and that she'll DIE if they don't do it. Great, huh? Conflicting reports. Die if you do, die if you don't.

She's having more tests today (doing that camera-swallowing endoscopy thing) and will have another heart catheritization soon to make sure there aren't any blockages. And then, depending on which doctor wins, she may have open heart surgery that involves repairing a hole in her heart, redirecting a wayward vein and, depending on the heart cath results, a possible bypass.

Sure, sure, people undergo open heart surgery all the time, scary as it is. But there are two elephants standing quietly in the corner: One, it's rarely performed on PPH patients. Two, my grandfather died on the table. So, yeah.

And then there's the little shit: My DSL has been out for 3 days. Tech support said there was a problem with the line, and they're sending someone out to fix it this afternoon. (Had to wait 3 days for the fucking technician!) But tech support also recommended that I try the modem on another phone jack to see if it worked there. Desperate for high-speed, I did that. It was comical. The phone jack isn't in the same room as the computer, so the cable is about 30 feet long and was buried between the baseboard and the carpet. It took me about an hour to disconnect the modem from the computer and the wall (half of it in the un-air-conditioned room), rip up the cable, and move it to another phone jack. I had to move furniture. And then? Voila. Modem no longer has power. Killed the modem after moving it. So I'm sure this visit from the AT&T guy is going to be all about "No, really, the modem worked until I moved it, which I was advised to do by your staff. No, really.

[And the worst part, the very worst part, is that it just NOW dawned on me that I'm a fucking idiot. The DSL cable isn't 30 feet long. It's three 10-foot cables joined together. All I had to do was disconnect one of them instead of pulling the whole fucking thing up from under the carpet. Yeah, I just realized this. And it did not improve my mood. Jesus.]

It's these things you focus on when you don't want to focus on the other things, yes?

The ex-girl and I had plans to go to Reno this weekend. I'd been bummed about that, about the not-going, for a couple weeks, because I'd really been looking forward to it. Went to cancel the reservation earlier this week and finally said "Fuck it, I'm going anyway!" So shit, I'm going to go to Reno tomorrow to sit by the pool and play craps and generally spend 48 hours forgetting about what there is to come home to.

Because really, what else can you do?
You go girl. I'll send you whatever luck I can find laying around the house. Win big!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 26 July | 14:29
Aw. Sorry to hear about your crappy weeks. Knock 'em dead in Reno!
posted by iconomy 26 July | 14:38
Take your fabulous self to Reno and enjoy the hell out of it, my pups. I send big hugs for your wounded heart and soothing thoughts to your worried mind.
posted by jrossi4r 26 July | 14:41
Gosh. Sorry about your Mom and all the rest too.
posted by rainbaby 26 July | 14:42
*hugs* and *luck* and *possibly more later because I'm leaving work right now*.

But mostly *hugs*.
posted by occhiblu 26 July | 14:45
Ugh, that sucks. But at least you're going to Reno. I hope the surgery goes well. Sounds like a rough time. Sitting by the pool playing craps sounds like a pretty good prescription. Chin up, mudpuppie.

May I also suggest some music? Try Thomas Dybdahl's "Science," my oft-recommended but never listened-to Mando Diao, "Ode to Ochrasy," and the undeniable Sam Cooke, "One Night Stand! Sam Cooke Live at the Harlem Square Club."

It beats caterwauling or the sound of jet airplanes, anyway.
posted by Hugh Janus 26 July | 14:53
Yeh, you need the Reno thing. Enjoy it. And I hope things improve soon. You're pretty awesome.
posted by crush-onastick 26 July | 15:00
Here's rubbing some of my Vegas luck on you for Reno.
posted by essexjan 26 July | 15:05
Hugs. Win big in Reno kid!
posted by arse_hat 26 July | 15:09
Definitely sounds like a shitty couple months. I hope things look up soon, pup.
posted by box 26 July | 15:17
Reno sounds like just the ticket. Good for you to know what you need!

Medical uncertainty is terrible anguish; I'm so sorry you and your mom are going through this.

*hugs*
posted by Elsa 26 July | 15:19
many whuffles and hugs..
posted by By the Grace of God 26 July | 15:21
Ah girl if I had any luck I'd send you some. Here's hoping you have fun in Reno & a whoosh of good healing white light to your mom.
posted by mygothlaundry 26 July | 15:23
Here's to Reno & bringing back better days.
posted by chewatadistance 26 July | 15:48
Good luck on all fronts!

Short story: Did the camera-swallowing endoscopy thing myself when I was in the hospital back in May (when they were still trying to decide if it was my heart throwing clots at my kidney). The strange/bizzare/cool thing is that they give you a mickey - basically a medical version of the "date-rape" type sedatives that don't put you "under," but make you very pliable and make you completely forget everything after you take it for quite some time. End result: I had conversations with my wife hours after the procedure that I never knew we had and she didn't know I wouldn't remember. It was actually weeks before we put together why she thought we had talked about things that I swore we had not.
When I was a kid I watched my brother, after having his wisdom teeth removed, drink three milkshakes offered him by three different assistants. Each one asked, "Did someone bring you something to drink yet?" to which he answered, "No." The oral surgeon came out and joked about how much he liked milkshakes. "What are you talking about?" my brother responded.

The doctor said, "Are you thirsty? Did anyone bring you a milkshake?"

"No."

An assistant then brought in two milkshakes, one for me and one for him. I didn't think it was fair to laugh at him, but I did anyway, because it was a good milkshake, and he was on his fourth one.

I wonder where they got all the milkshakes in the dentist's office. Seems like a conflict of interest.
posted by Hugh Janus 26 July | 16:06
I'm sorry, darlin'.

Your mom has my best wishes, and I relly hope you have a fabulous time in Reno all by your sweet self.
posted by Specklet 26 July | 17:25
Hugs and much empathy.

Troubles come not as single spies, but in battalions.

My shitty couple of months:

G/F gone overseas for 10 weeks, which is fine and good, but made everything that happened later harder.

My cat died. Then my Gran died. Then Mum was in a car crash (but OK apart from ribs). Then Brother-in-law falls into huge depression hole, starts medication.

Then (in the smaller things) work project falling over so badly that I stress to the point of physical symptoms and don't know what to do. Go to the doctor about it and manage to break the car key off in the door. Heh... you know, I was sure there were more little things, but they've totally faded from my mind.

I'm not going to Reno, but I am going to Malaysia to meet my girl on her way home... and without that to look forward to, I don't know what I would've done.

So best of luck for you, your mum, and your whole family. I've been learning just how all these things can build up.
posted by pompomtom 26 July | 18:46
Sorry about all this sorry bullshit you've been going through, you deserve a lot better. And yeah, you really need to get away. Hope you enjoy Reno.
posted by puke & cry 26 July | 19:23
Traveling alone can be very therapeutic, I've found... and hey, you're gonna win big out there, so that'll cheer you up even more! ;)

*hug* Sorry to hear about the crappy months, pupps. Why does the shit always have to rain down all at once like that? I don't know, but it always does.
posted by BoringPostcards 26 July | 19:40
Don't feel bad about the cable thing. I do stuff like that all the time and it drives me batshitinsane. Happened just the other day actually. I was cleaning the bathroom and I ran out of shower cleaner. I remembered that I had an old bottle of the same brand of shower cleaner out in the garage. The spray handle on the old bottle had broken, so I threw the spray handle away, put some foil over the bottle and stuck it in the garage and bought a new bottle, which was now empty. I got the old half-full bottle from the garage. "Hmm" I thought. I think I have a funnel somewhere to pour the contents of the old bottle into the newer empty bottle. So I spend around 20 minutes rummaging around the kitchen looking for a funnel. No luck. So I take both bottles in the shower and carefully pour the liquid from one bottle into the other, of course spilling half of it in the process. Immediately after I was done screwing everything up, it occurred to me that I could have just taken the spray nozzle from the empty bottle and screwed it on the old half-full bottle. Arggghhh! I do crap like that all the time. Get on my own nerves.

Hope things turn around for you soon.
posted by Otis 26 July | 19:50
Hey pup, I'm sorry about your troubles. Regarding your mom, is it possible to get another opinion? Best two out of three would seem to be the way to go, if possible. And the other stuff... time passes. It's been a long time since I was in Reno, but I imagine it will help in that respect. Play some blackjack for me, OK?
posted by bmarkey 26 July | 19:59
Don't waste Reno! Have. Fun.

It will all go well, and your mom will get the attention she needs. From you and the doctors. But for now, try to find what you need to do for yourself. It's all about YOU this weekend in Reno.
posted by carmina 27 July | 00:22
Hugging you, sweetie. Win a bunch of money and come to Athens and hang out with carmina (when she gets here for summer vacay) and me. It might be hot and sweaty and miserable, but misery loves company, right? We'll sit around and melt like a Dali painting and discuss the persistence of time.

HUGS HUGS them are big hugs for you
posted by taz 27 July | 01:27
Thanks for all the kind words and hugs, y'all. Means a lot to have some place to go for them. (I'm sure you all know that.)
posted by mudpuppie 27 July | 03:09
Many hugs from me too mudpuppie. Hope you and your mom feel better real soon.
posted by hadjiboy 27 July | 05:25
Hugs here, you know it girl! Hit Reno, make 'em have to work to forget you.

Look, we got Hugh's milkshake story out of this. One of many reasons I wsih I could favorite MeCha comments. ;-)
posted by stilicho 27 July | 08:19
Hugs to mudpuppie. Hope the Mom is going to be OK, and sorry about the love lost, and, I sincerely hope your trip is a good antidote.

And pompomtom too. So sorry about the kitty, and Gran, and family - and hope your trip is a good antidote too.

posted by mightshould 27 July | 08:46
Oh shit, yes, I meant to offer my sympathies to pompomtom as well, but I was too busy feeling sorry for myself. I'm more than happy to share the waaaaaahmbulance. I'll even let him drive.

Feel better, pompom. Here's hoping your trip is a bright spot.

/me hits the road
posted by mudpuppie 27 July | 14:00
I'm sorry about all the crap lately, (((mudpuppie))). I hope you had a good time in Reno.
posted by deborah 30 July | 21:08
Pips and square eggs? || Responsible, well-adjusted parents

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