MetaChat - Things I hate about being a woman #427: Home Parties!

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25 July 2007

Things I hate about being a woman #427: Home Parties! →[More:]You know, when someone you know sets out some Cracker Barrel and box wine and then tries to trade on your friendship to guilt you into buying crap you don't need. Man, do they suck.

I've got to go to a Mary Kay party tonight and it's making me cranky. Normally, I turn down all such invitations, but this one is from my husband's cousin. She and her parents are the only members of his family that genuinely like me, so for her, I'd do anything.

post by: jrossi4r at: 08:56 | 28 comments

Go along, and buy the cheapest thing they have.

posted by chuckdarwin 25 July | 09:00

Mary Kay is so hilarious though. I had a Mary Kay makeover once, right after my daughter was born. I was around 18 and my sister in law, who was 15, was staying with me, so we both agreed to have the makeover from this neighbor lady. Who was, you know, ancient, (like 45, argh, how the mighty have fallen) and had huge hair and that kind of spackled on three inch deep makeup you rarely see anymore. She came in and started applying makeup with garden tools on both our faces and teasing our hair up until we were both most unbelievably hideous to behold. It was awesome. We collapsed with laughter. The lady got cranky and left but we giggled for the rest of the day.

So just buy a lipstick and knock back some wine and hope there'll be one of the real serious Mary Kay ladies there with a pink cadillac. They're so cool in their own pink way.

posted by mygothlaundry 25 July | 09:04

Ugh. I feel you. I effing hate these things. It's definitely a girl thing. I always say no. There's a woman down the street who has one about every 3 months, and she always sends me an invitation and says something to the effect of "you don't have to buy anything, just come and we'll party". Um sure. What a fun time that would be!

Her 'parties' always feature something I just don't want, like 15 dollar a jar gourmet jam (a must have) or those goddman party lite candles (they have no scent whatsoever). The invitation should just say "Please come to my house and buy things you don't want so I can get some free gifts".

posted by iconomy 25 July | 09:06

It would be more fun if you guys were there. Maybe I'll bring my laptop.

posted by jrossi4r 25 July | 09:10

My mother's friends sell that "Tastefully Simple" stuff. My Mom buys me the Potato Cheddar soup mix, because she knows I like stuff like that. I think it makes her happy to have a fallback thing to buy.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 25 July | 09:20

Oh I hate these things too! (although I haven't been to one for years; I think my general grumpiness about them got around...) jrossi, I wish you could take your laptop and give us a running commentary.

posted by gaspode 25 July | 09:24

A friend of a friend in my old town held Tupperware parties a few times a year, and I always tried to demur on the grounds that I was not going to buy anything. The hostess simply didn't care --- she wanted plenty of lively people, and a fun evening.

I have hosted sex-toy sales parties (my friend K owns a sex-toy shop), and I always felt the same (and K agreed): you want people, fun people, chatty people, not suckers who'll be pressured into buying stuff, and you want good food and hilarity, and then if people want the products, the sales take care of themselves. If people don't want 'em, eh, then the salesperson got some good food and wine.

posted by Elsa 25 July | 09:30

When I was a kid, my mom used to have (and go to) Tupperware parties religiously. We owned every single thing ever to have been manufactured by that company, right down to an awful vinyl picnic basket and all its acoutrements.

Now I wish I had respected the Tupperware more so it would still be in good condition and I could consequently sell it to some hipsters in Brooklyn.

posted by brina 25 July | 09:32

Until this post I'd never heard of Mary Kay, and after Googling, I was surprised to see there's a UK company too. I hate those parties too, haven't been to one in years, but I did buy something once at a Tupperware party about 20 years ago that I still use at least three times a week, with the drainage basket in to steam veggies in the microwave, and without the basket, to cook rice in the m/wave.

posted by essexjan 25 July | 09:35

Is there a male equivalent to this kind of thing?

posted by box 25 July | 10:44

I wish I knew someone who sold mark; I miss buying their stuff from the girl I knew who sold it.

posted by ThePinkSuperhero 25 July | 10:50

I'd love to live blog it. That would be fun.

7:15 Choke on a Triscuit. Make hostess break into husband's beer stash so I can wash it down.
7:30 Reveal that yes I DO believe there are people who actually like Hillary Clinton. Refrain from revealing that I am one of them.
8:00 Let stranger touch my face. Feel kinda oogy about it.
8:15 I LOOK LIKE A WHORE AND NOT IN A GOOD DOLLY PARTONESQUE WAY!

posted by jrossi4r 25 July | 10:57

And Elsa, sex toy parties get a pass. That would actually be fun.

posted by jrossi4r 25 July | 10:59

I've been to a couple sex toy parties. They're always fun. I've been to too many Pampered Chef, Tupperware, Taste of Home, Candlelight, Southern Living Home, and Creative Memories parties. And I can't forget to mention Princess Home. I bought a huge chip and dip and broke it the day I got it home. There went 70 overpriced bucks down the drain.

Thankfully I haven't been invited to any home parties in a while.

Mary Kay makes good masks. I had a pore reducing mask from Mary Kay that I loved. I think it's light lavender in color.

posted by LoriFLA 25 July | 11:13

I am pretty sure it would be impossible to collect 6 to 10 of my closest male friends for an in-home sex toy party. I am certain that after trying to do so, I would have fewer friends of the straight male persuasion.

But getting 3 or more guys together for beers at a titty bar only requires that one of them filed for divorce, or bought (or sold!) a boat or a new truck, that day. Hell, some of 'em will buy rounds to celebrate a new lawn tractor...

posted by paulsc 25 July | 11:40

Oh, so sorry, Mary Kay is one of the worst, especially if you don’t use makeup! (which I didn’t use years ago when I had to go to one….I think I could do better nowadays, seeing as I need all the help I can get!) :>

I do feel for you. I’ll think of you sometime later on tonight, and smile knowing it’s not me!

I believe the worst “party” I ever had to go to was hosted by our landlady. It was Tupperware. She was a chain smoker and the place reeked, absolutely reeked of stale tobacco! Makes me ick just remembering… but, I was young and didn’t know that I could say anything. By the time it was over I was the “proud” owner of a deviled egg holder-thingy, and sick with a headache that lasted for days!

Woohoo fun!

posted by mightshould 25 July | 12:58

Ugh, sales pitches disguised as social events. Haven't been to one of these yet. I might, conceivably, go if I thought the stuff might actually be something I wanted and I could trust the people involved not to pressure me.

posted by Orange Swan 25 July | 15:00

Lori, I read that as couple-sex toy parties, and Paul, I read that as in-home-sex toy party, and I am feeling that I miss all the fun parties.

I got some wildly overpriced, but very useful, bamboo kitchen utensils at a recent home party. But, Mary Kay? icky. See if she gets any points for numbers, and maybe you're helping just by being there.

posted by theora55 25 July | 15:01

I have to agree with paulsc - even as couples, you would be hard-pressed to get many males to a sex-toy party, I think. Maybe it's because we hate to acknowledge that, you know, we don't totally fulfil every single sexual desire of our wimmen. Plus, while men talk about sex a lot, we don't talk about it in the kind of detail or in such personal terms as women do. Or so I've heard.

posted by dg 25 July | 15:50

*decides to host an in-home sex toes party*

posted by taz 25 July | 16:29

My wife went to a couple of Petra Fashions (lingerie) parties a few years back. That didn't suck ;-)

She sold Pampered Chef kitchen stuff for a while, and did pretty well at it. She quit ten years ago when we moved back to Texas; didn't want to rebuild her clientele.

posted by Doohickie 25 July | 20:55

I went to one once. The woman who originally found Crosbie as a stray pup, and then found him a home with me, hosted a Pampered Chef party once. I went because I love my dog and I am grateful to her for hooking us up.

But she lives two hours away, so I was mercifully off the hook -- I couldn't realistically buy anything anyway. So I drank a little wine, ate a lot of olives, and laughed at people's jokes. Then Crosbie and I got in the car and drove back over the mountains and home.

posted by tangerine 25 July | 23:21

So..I went. And it wasn't a party. It was just me, my mom, my mother in law and one of her friends. When I got out of the car, we had this exchange:
"Oooh..look at you Miss Brunette!"
"Ugh. Yeah. Let's not even talk about that."
"Your mom told me that you were really upset. You can still see where they screwed up..it's..."
"I know, I know. Seriously. Let's not talk about it."
"FINE!"
Then she teared up, walked in the house and barely talked to me for the rest of the night. She cried because I wouldn't let her tell me how awful my hair looked.

But I got new eyeliner and some mascara. That's nice.

posted by jrossi4r 26 July | 11:18

Aw, jeez. That's too bad. Why is it that "Let's not talk about it" translates to so many as "Please, let's hash it over"?

posted by Elsa 26 July | 13:41

Enh. It's one of those things where I always say what I mean and she never does. Therefore, I take her on face value when I shouldn't and she reads things into whatever I say. Just your basic inconquerable communication breakdown.

But there was dip and cookies, which was a plus. No wine, though. Wine would have helped.

posted by jrossi4r 26 July | 13:58

I have hosted sex-toy sales parties (my friend K owns a sex-toy shop)
We used to call them "Fuckerware Parties".

When I was in college, Joani Blanc (founder of Good Vibrations) held one on campus, which my then girlfriend (now ex-wife) attended. My ex reported that the lesbians in attendance were really disappointed that Joani wasn't gay and that Joani sold out of everything that she brought.

posted by plinth 26 July | 14:48

Ha. I called them "tupperwhore parties." I much prefer yours.

posted by Elsa 26 July | 14:59

If you want Mark go find an Avon lady.

posted by bunnyfire 26 July | 16:31

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