You actually had a wise person around ever?
Wow.

I've never had a person like that in my life. How lucky for you that you have. And it sounds like you had more than one.

My parents. And my pastors, to a certain extent (the only reservation I have about them is that they're sort of hippies, lol).

Perhaps you've now become someone else's Wise Person.

Everybody's a wise person, at least some of the time. You listen to people's stories or what they know, you're bound to pick up something.

Neither of my dad's parents graduated from high school. They both grew up in huge families during the depression. My grandmother actually taught my grandfather to read after they got married.

Yet, they were the first people I knew to get an Atari, a VCR, a home computer, internet access. They are extremely well-informed. Bring up the Bush administration and I guarantee they'll give you at least 3 more reasons to hate it that you didn't even know.

They are, and always have been, profoundly liberal. Growing up, my grandmother's best friend was black. No big deal now, but back in our blue collar section of the city in the 60s and 70s, among her generation that was pretty damn rare.

My grandmother once announced at Thanksgiving that statistically there was a good chance that at least one of her grandchildren would be gay and she just wanted us to know that it was OK with her and that her love was unconditional.

They're in their 80s now and still going strong, passing on their love and wisdom to their great grandchildren. I'm so grateful for that.

I don't know if it's possible for one person to be wise in all respects, but I do have a cousin brother who I sort of look upto.

I'm with matthewr; at least to the extent one can know someone on-line, you've always struck me as pretty damn wise, Miko.

That said, I've found wise people can turn up unexpectedly in one's life. The most recent one I had was my wonderful ex-boss, whom I lost in the big workplace reorganization last year but with whom I still meet up from time to time to talk about life, the universe, and everything. I hadn't expected him to turn into a Wise One in my life, since temperamentally we're very different (and he's actually quite a bit younger than me). But man, did I learn a lot from him about how to deal with people, organizations, conflict, politics, etc. etc. while always retaining one's humanity and integrity.

The most consistent W.O. in my life is my older brother, the one person with whom I can talk about *anything* and who always gets it. I'm incredibly lucky to have him in my life, as well as all the other Wise Ones I've encountered.

My landlady is half Fate, half Muse. Her Wisdom score is like 18/00.

I guess my wise-people are my parents. They've both been through a lot in their lives and so can provide useful input on many things but there are days when I wonder if I'm outgrowing their wisdom. This makes me sad because I don't know if I'll the same connection with anyone else in this world.

My friends are also a pretty savvy bunch and we talk about just about everything there is to talk about. I've gone to them numerous times with rants and whatnot but there are just some things that I can't bring up with them and then that's when I turn to my parents.

And finally there's the bunnies! You guys seem to fill the holes left by my friends and family. You guys are all a smart and grounded bunch of people and can honestly provide a neutral opinion on things.

I guess now that I think on it I have a perfect trifecta o'wisdom, if you will.

Thanks guys!

I've got a few. My godmother was a big one for me but she passed away in 05 & I miss her voice more than anything I could imagine. Since then my mom has become much better at being my wise person than I ever would've expected, so that's been good.

Otherwise I just bounce stuff off of my old friends who think they are wise people. Oh, and my dog is pretty wise sometimes. Her main answer to everything is "I love you & I think I shall lick your face now." Sometimes that's all I need.

And for everything else, there's AskMe. ;)

Well Miko, I too have lost my “wise person” and feel so lost without him, so I can somewhat know how you feel. Not being a spring chick any longer, it’s difficult to find someone else who’s experienced more, or been around longer and has the wisdom of years. Course, my Tom could be characterized as one of those people who were born “old” and came out already knowing lots of stuff…. So, it may not be a function of age, just wisdom and a constant search to know ALL about MANY things – the renaissance man incarnate.

Like you, I struggle to find someone to “trust” (?) Maybe jonmc is right. Now’s the time for you to consider being the “wise one”. You seem that way to me too.

Interesting question. I've never really had a wise person; mainly my sister and I just fumbled our way along, and I think it helped us to have the courage to just jump in and forge new paths for ourselves. It made us learn that it's ok to be scared, but that it doesn't have to stop us from moving forward.

Perhaps this is a function of becoming an adult, and realizing that nobody really knows what the hell they're doing, despite appearances of confidence.

LOL! This is very, very true, and an equalizer, in my opinion. Maybe at some point we become our own wise people?

As for not quite as deep questions, like how to saute garlic, or how do I hook up the dvd player - people on the web have been invaluable to me. I never had a very close relationship with anyone in my family (except one of my sisters, mentioned above), so it has really been wonderful to have a resource like that at my fingertips.

jrossi, your grandparents sound AWESOME!! I wish I'd had a chance to know mine, especially on my mom's side. Her dad looks like such a card in all the pics. They died before I was about 3.

My dad died 5 years ago, but I still consider him my wise person. Though he wasn't flawless, "what would Dad do?" is a pretty good guideline.

Though I've never really needed to consult him on anything terribly weighty, my friend Pete would, I think, fulfill the role pretty well. He would, at the very least, tell me I'm full of shit if the situation called for it.

I've always been a bit of a loner as far as confidantes are concerned. I was self-sufficient from a very young age and learned to keep my real thoughts and feelings to myself.

When I was going through my 4th and 5th steps in AA, I was appalled at the idea of having to tell all my stuff to someone. I'd become aware of how people gossiped and couldn't bear the thought of my secrets being the subject of other people's conversation. So I chose an elderly priest, sober in AA for about 35 years, and we did it formally, as a confession in his church, although I'm not a Catholic.

People tend to confide in me. I never tell other people's secrets. I was a divorce lawyer for long enough to have had that ingrained in me. Ohh... I could write a book, the secrets I've been told.

I tend to put far more stuff about myself out on the internet than I ever tell people face to face.

I agree with you, jon, there is a bit of wisdom in everyone. I was speaking more specifically here that sometimes there is one person (or more) who seems to have wisdom for everything. That's more rare.

It's nice to hear about all your wise people.

I know I've accumulated some wisdom in my life and I'm glad if it's helped anyone. But I do a pretty terrible job being wise for myself, sometimes.

Mr. S., my best friend's father growing up, always had a lot of horse sense for me. He was good at putting things into perspective, and he had the best and raunchiest sense of humor. He was so different from my own father, who yelled about the littlest things. God forbid you filled the ice cube trays too much.

My biology teacher in 9th grade was also a great support and help, as was my 11th grade English teacher, Mr. G. My clarinet teacher, too.

And of course, my mom. She's always been good about not judging, and I feel like I could tell her anything. She's almost 92, though, and just a little bit "out of it." I try not to trouble her with problems. We had a nice visit around the 4th; went for dip cones at Dairy Queen.

I don't really have anyone like that now. Nor do I particularly want anyone. I'm wiser than most people I know. ; )

I have several in my family. Some of them are younger than I am. Also I have some very good friends.

I'm like Miko in that I think I'm better at being wise for other people than I am for myself.

My yoga teacher seems to be popping up a lot in my conversations lately, in sort of the wise person role you're describing. Though it's more of a teacher role, in that it's not like we sit down and talk specifically about my problems, but I love the way she combines images and explains theories and describes what it means to be a good, whole, open person, and I find myself drawing on her wisdom a lot when I'm trying to think things through.

One of the things I also love about yoga is the sense of thanking the teachers of our teachers of our teachers of our teachers, ad infinitum. There's a sense of lineage in that that I never got elsewhere, and I like it.

I fear I'm about to get rambly, so I'll try to make all this tie together: One of the things I admired about my ex-boyfriend's family was their extended family network; they seemed to have so many family friends of all different generations, and in places all over the U.S. he and I would visit with multi-generation families made up of some of the most awesome people ever. The grandparent-generation folks were always just astoundingly wonderful -- active and funny and interested and engaged and really living their lives. While I'm rather glad to be rid of the ex, I'm sad to have lost some of those connections.

In one of my university classes a few weeks ago, we had to introduce ourselves by stating our name and the story of our name, which is a fascinating request. My parents gave me a name that was specifically not a family name; they both had problems with their extended families (my mother much more so than my father, since her father had been abusive) and really wanted a fresh start, free, as much as possible, of their families.

Knowing the individuals they were trying to separate from, I do see that their decision was probably a good one. But, especially when I was surrounded by all those wonderful people revolving through my ex's family, I really miss that sense of connection to past generations. I often do feel like I'm out on my own, that there's not that wise, experienced person to check in with from time to time.

Which (trying to tie this all in) is why I think I prize that feeling in my yoga classes. That lineage of wisdom.

But I also really like the sense I have that really random things can sometimes be the most profoundly life-changing, that the universe sends us knowledge when we're ready for it and our job is to be open to it, to be aware that we're all each other's teachers.

The mister is very wise and I'd have to say he's my first "wise person". My mother is good too, but I think there's too much history there for me to really rely on her.

Also, I had never heard of a "wisdom score". I Googled and found this test at NYT and lo and behold, a thread at AskMe.

I have been lucky enough to be surrounded by people who weren't wise, necessarily, but there when I needed them. Real mentors. People who took me places outside of the daily mundane round, and gave me moments to grow.

The usual suspects: high school teachers, camp counselors (Thor, where are you now? No shit. I had a camp counselor named Thor and he rocked and let me pitch in our Baseball Camp's World Series.)

The best Wise Ones always walk with you around the block, but lead you back to your front door to walk on into life by yourself.

I thought this was the whole reason that none of us is an island. All of humanity is a source of wisdom for each of us. Standing on the shoulders of giants, etc.