MetaChat - You must know I love you...

MetaChat is an informal place for MeFites to touch base and post, discuss and chatter about topics that may not belong on MetaFilter. Questions? Check the FAQ. Please note: This is important.

20 June 2007

You must know I love you... I am an honorable man... I have pluck... I have initiative... I can shift for myself and for others, too....

Oh, I am sure of that.

Then use me... let me help you... put me to the test...!

post by: Hugh Janus at: 12:29 | 25 comments

Well... I do like a man with pluck, it must be said.

mustn't it?

posted by taz 20 June | 13:20

I've got just the job for you. I've been saving it for someone with your set of skills....IF you think you're up to it.

posted by Miko 20 June | 13:28

Well... I do like a man with pluck, it must be said.

I think you misspelled that.

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 20 June | 13:30

I've been pinking varlets all morning for honor's sake, entrusted with a Royal mission by my lady love. I could use a nice distraction.

posted by Hugh Janus 20 June | 13:30

≡ Click to see image ≡

posted by Hugh Janus 20 June | 13:34

I read that: "I can shit for myself"

lol!

posted by By the Grace of God 20 June | 13:36

What wanton maiden was wound about your heart so, inflaming your loins and your passions and your pluck?

posted by ethylene 20 June | 13:56

Such wording as "wanton" is an offence to milady's honor and mine. I will have satisfaction; however, as my arm is weary from the morning's exertions and there seems to be a mere scratch through my belly from front to back, I'm sure your senses of pride and propriety will lead you to agree to postpone your own chastisement until we are both equally fit to meet again. Now, if you would be so kind as to call a surgeon?

posted by Hugh Janus 20 June | 14:16

If you feel run through enough for need of a surgeon's care from your arm's exertions, perhaps you should give your sword a break?

posted by ethylene 20 June | 14:25

Is she not wanton with your affections and have you been much braver since?

posted by ethylene 20 June | 14:27

pen is mightier.

posted by taz 20 June | 14:28

And here I was wondering where all the romance in life had gone.

posted by chrismear 20 June | 14:47

Into being chivalrous during sexual relations, hopefully.

posted by ethylene 20 June | 14:51

Scandal! Scandal! Take back your calumnies or by the Holy Blood, I'll spit you through like ortolans!

posted by Hugh Janus 20 June | 15:09

Apologies for i am the wanton one, made libertine my the vile tentacles of the lascivious acts and carnal wants that threaten me with an eternal dance in the flames of ceaseless sexual congress in the afterlife--
wilt not someone save me by sheathing their sword and attending to my... cause?

posted by ethylene 20 June | 15:20

Oh, kind and noble gentle sir, grant me forgiveness for i am in need confession and relief from and for my frankly ungodly ways in the encouragement of carnal knowledge by the unwed and enduring the wild gesticulations of limbs and protuberances, even the writhing snarl of lips contorted for purposes not intending speech! Upon not the air of chaste breath!
Oh, i am surely damned...

posted by ethylene 20 June | 15:34

I am ashamed to have caused you such obvious distress, but... did I say distress? That takes it! I'll dash in and rescue milady from her guilts and fears with a double dose of Gascon gallantry. Allons-y!

posted by Hugh Janus 20 June | 15:40

This weak flesh may not be able to sheath a sword of such mighty girth, at least until we partake of some refreshments of wine and smoke the pipe of peace--
Being corseted makes a maid cranky with restraint and frustration.
i am at your generous service, make of me what you will.

posted by ethylene 20 June | 15:48

I generally wield a relatively long-bladed sword characterized by a complex hilt constructed to protect the hand wielding it. While the blade might be broad enough to cut to some degree, the strength of my sword is its ability as a thrusting weapon. The blade, completely without a cutting edge as called "estoc" by Pallavicini, is relatively long and slender, and ends in a sharply pointed tip.

Your interest in the tool of my trade and your offer of libations and other relaxments exerts a powerful effect of its own on my resolve; in short, your flattery has got you everywhere, and I anticipate some degree of rumbust once we repair somewhere quiet to ease the press of your whalebone.

If you will, forgive me for being so forward; yours cordially.

posted by Hugh Janus 20 June | 16:02

Forgive me in presumption in liberating myself from my bindings for the sake of my own comfort; the situation shall be remedied should it offend thine sheltered gaze.
Such a commotion is afoot nearby where the awkwardly robust cries of the neighboring help seem to suggest such untoward liberties being taken, by both both sexes to both sexes, and possibly same sexes!
Truly this is some test of my morality to see how readily i might be swayed to ardent sinful action--

posted by ethylene 20 June | 16:10

A sinner against the Cardinal is a saint for the King! Dive right in, milady; all for one, and one for all!

posted by Hugh Janus 20 June | 16:14

If you would be so kind as to escort me, sir? Sans corseting, my unfettered bosom jiggles in a most unladylike fashion and i fear the friction of my bodice might cause an unseemly spectacle without the protection of your sword at the ready. You have my promise to keep it well sheathed when its work as a promise of threat is done.
i must admit a weakness for a finely brandished sword.
*swoons*

posted by ethylene 20 June | 16:25

*cuts figure, doffs hat, bows, offers arm*

posted by Hugh Janus 20 June | 16:29

*whispers behind fan*
So this one you have pluck for, be it the same lady who thou once spoke of in terms of wishful engagement?
Is she free to be uncorseted in your presence?
Have you plucked her or merely wish to take the initiative?

Pardon, sir, my tumescence nipple cannot but chafe against your muscled arms!

posted by ethylene 20 June | 16:41

*eats popcorn and cheers at entire thread and its participants*

posted by TrishaLynn 20 June | 21:52

← This is a whine and whuffle thread. || Ask MeCha: →

HOME || REGISTER || LOGIN