Let's just smile and pretend nothing's the matter, while shit still keeps happening →[More:]I just got off the phone with my father, who told me that one of my grandmother's live-in caregivers, "M" has been abusing her: a bruised mouth, not bathing her (the excuse was a broken shower door, but this was not promptly reported to chupahija or her only full brother ) nor giving her sponge baths, taking her out and leaving her in the car while the caregiver went shopping--there was an incident where another car rammed and totaled it which was not reported, verbal abuse. Several years ago another woman who worked as a caregiver for someone else in the building called my mother several times to try to report the abuse, but wouldn't leave her name---she later sent chupahija a letter describing what she had seen: verbal abuse, taking her out to sketchy neighborhoods to visit her family --which isn't necessarily bad in and of itself, but was done without my mother and uncle's knowledge--their justification for not getting to the bottom of the matter was the presumption that this woman only wanted to take over "M"'s job; my father has just claimed that this woman had been involved with "M"'s son and it ended badly. About ten years ago, I went to take something over to my grandmother and discovered that M had left her alone. I stayed until the other caregiver, "P" showed up. My grandmother has alcoholic dementia. When I told chupahija, she blew me off. I called my uncle who let me know that M and P didn't get along, but nothing was done...I seem to remember my uncle telling me P would report things to them, but they blew it off because they thought it was a result of the spat. My grandmother broke her hip some time ago and a third caregiver, "M2" was hired. She was not hired through the caregiver agency; she was an acquaintance of M's and it turns out that she is an illegal who was using a stolen social security number. Apparently she witnessed much of M's actions, but didn't do anything because M would threaten to turn her in if
she said anything.

I haven't wanted anything to do with my grandmother in years; I grew up seeing her behave like a nasty, alcoholic cunt-- the fact that she's been subdued with Prozac and whatnot since she and my mother's stepfather were declared incompetent (at the time the caregivers were hired their coked-up youngest son had drained them of most of their assets and was making threats when they wouldn't give any more)doesn't change anything-- but if I'd fucking been listened to ten years ago this wouldn't have happened.

God knows what will happen if chupahija becomes incapacitated--my brother is the one who will have to deal with it since I want nothing more to do with her.