MetaChat - Oh good grief.

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15 June 2007

Oh good grief. →[More:]I just got off the phone to my sister. Yet again, her life is a train wreck.

She's having problems at work - she's had many, many jobs over the years because if she's in charge she can't handle responsibility and if she's an employee she can't stand being told what to do. This time she's a boss (she's head of school meals in a primary [elementary] school) and she can't cope with it.

Always used to having what she wants, paid for by her man, this is the first time she's had to manage financially for herself in her entire life, and just three months after re-mortgaging to buy her last husband out, she's found herself in debt on her credit cards, with nobody to bail her out.

She has this deadbeat new boyfriend - he doesn't work, is under 30 (she won't say how far under - she's almost 51), has three children by two ex-wives and he neither sees nor supports them, doesn't drive, lives with his mother ...

And she told me that she's changing her life insurance, naming him as beneficiary on her policies in the event of her death. And she's already told him she's doing this.

post by: essexjan at: 14:36 | 8 comments

Essexjan, for some reason that last paragraph scares the living crap out of me.

Where you live, can you get a background check on him?

posted by bunnyfire 15 June | 14:44

No, unfortunately, it's not possible in the UK to do that in the same way as you can in the US.

posted by essexjan 15 June | 14:49

aaaiiii.

Counsel her to tell him that the insurance company told her she can't go forward with that transaction at this time blahblah legal reason. He won't know better, and it will give her a chance to smart up, if there's any possibility of that.

yeah, I know she probably won't listen... but try anyway. I'm sure you already have.

posted by taz 15 June | 14:53

Yes, taz, I tried to tell her that she can't do anything until her divorce comes through (not true but worth a shot).

As she is the one being divorced, she doesn't need a lawyer, so there's nobody to advise her. And she won't listen to me at all, although she will, when it suits her, ask me for legal advice, which she ignores if it's not totally in her favour. The only people she ever takes any notice of are the ones who tell her what she wants to hear.

posted by essexjan 15 June | 15:01

This guy is in his 20's, lives with his mother, and is going out with a 50something?

That alone says "trainwreck" to me.

posted by danf 15 June | 15:05

Maybe you should just tell her that if she wants to promise him a cash payment to keep the deadbeat around, she should just leave a set amount of money on the night stand instead of slowly letting him hock her jewelry.
Then apologize and tell her you were thinking of this desperate old bimbo you know.
Then tell her to snap out of it and find herself a decent rentboy for a better price, lazy bitch.

Then nod and smile, pat her hand and inquire as to her want for tea.

posted by ethylene 15 June | 15:50

From what you've posted here, it seems like George's relatives are way more family to you than your sister is.

One of my 18 year old cousins drunk-dialed me at 2:30 in the morning several weeks ago (their mother's name showed up on my caller ID). I sent them both an email letting them know that I cared about them, and I was there if they needed me, but unless it was a life or death emergency, I did not want to get phone calls like this again. Only one replied; denying it--I'll find out which one when I dig up the scrap with the numbers.

I had said for years that I wouldn't want anything to do with my mother if she weren't related to me, but four years ago I finally realized that being around her was not in my best interests, blood relative or not.

posted by brujita 16 June | 01:32

"No, unfortunately, it's not possible in the UK to [get a background check] in the same way as you can in the US."

Not even if he's a suspected terrorist? nudge nudge wink wink...

posted by craniac 16 June | 15:30

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