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27 May 2007
Now that I'm "internet" famous , how long do I have to wait before the bitches and blow kick in? Addendum: should I leave my wife and kids now or wait until Angelina Jolie eventually breaks up our happy home?
Addendum to the addendum: is there any way I can make sure Angelina adopts my children as well? I've grown somewhat fond of them, though this is not a deal-breaker. Sadly, they do not sport exotic colorings unless you find "pasty" exotic.
See, now I feel bad for Brad. I hate to do that to the man who brought us Tyler Durden. Still...it's pretty much out of anyone's control now. The die is surely cast.
I guess pasty complexions are exotic to those who don't have them, right? I would like to think that someday I'll be shipwrecked on an uncharted island and the perpetually tanned people there will think I'm very exotic because my skin glows in the dark. Hopefully there won't be any 40 foot apes on the island that they need me to lure out of hiding for them.
I just paste them into a text file for future reference/lol's.
I haven't heard the interview yet but I plan on listening to it tonight.
And I did not know you were in that line of work!
One year in high school, we had to go to a "Career Fair." It was a total bust, and completely boring. That is, until, I found the Carpenters. Mr. and Mrs. Carpenter ran a funeral home. I spent over an hour talking to them about it. It was one of the more fascinating conversations I've had in my life. I yearn to go on a tour of a funeral home soome day.
I was mentioned in the podcast once, which makes me mefi famous, if not internet famous. I'll have to work my way up. But I will have your illustrious example, old buddy.
jon, I'd like to tell you that one day you'll be a big bright shining star like me, but the truth is that God only deems a small few of us to be lifted above the common dirt and rabble that you commoners dwell in. Just take solace in the fact that a megastar like me once knew you and once deemed to call you friend. A long, long, long time ago.
I mean, obviously, I can't hang around shitholes like this anymore, now that I'm a celebrity, but you can all take comfort in my meager posting history and say, "I knew him when." Of course, if asked, I'll deny knowing any of you plebes.
I'm starting to see the dark side of my incredible fame. I just found out my wife has started seeing Wilmer Valderrama and my two little girls are hopelessly strung out on Flintstones vitamins and Grey Goose. Curse you, internet fame!
Some day when I have an extra hour and nine minutes I'm actually going to listen to that podcast, so I can see what everyone's raving about. Until then I guess I'll just continue to worship you because you're an office-products and school supplies afficionado, and also because you have a notebook which contains sketches of notebooks.
And someone said something about you writing a book. Write it. I'd buy it. I think I've made it very clear that if anyone wrote a damn book around here I'd read it.
I already started the rumor that CC will be replacing Adam on "Mythbusters" (although I'm working on having him replace Jamie instead so we can have TWO MeFites on the show). Or if he prefers, we can go for a field reporter on "The Daily Show" or something on Food Network ("Iron ColdChef?"). But first, I have to get miss lynnster onto the panel on "The View". Because nobody makes a deal in this town without my OK (unfortunately, my town is NOT Hollywood).
1 hour 9 minutes? That's the exact time that my train journey home takes. Now I don't have to wonder what to do with the extra 20 minutes or so left over after I listen to the podcast on Mondays.
photo by splunge
photo by TheophileEscargot
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