I walked right up to one of my housemates a few months ago and said, "Dude, you're twenty years older than me. You and I have both known since we were children how to wipe our asses after we take a shit, right? And we both know, there's no excuse for leaving shit on the toilet seat. None at all. So wipe your ass, and don't leave shit on the toilet seat, and don't give me any lip."

I thought about a note saying the same thing, but decided on the more direct approach.

don't leave shit on the toilet seat

I said the same thing to my roommate recently, except instead of "shit" it was "food", and instead of "toilet seat" it was "counter".

Also, instead of saying it, I just thought it.

[not passive agressivist]

[passive aggressivist]

for what it's worth i used to be a note-writer. i don't do it anymore, mainly because it always caused more trouble than it solved, and people seem to misconstrue / read in meanings to notes that they wouldn't to a face-to-face confrontation.

anecdote: we have a double sink in our kitchen. i've lived with my roommate for a year now, and for a year i've been continually moving / cleaning dirty dishes out of BOTH sinks. now, granted, i'll be moving soon but on monday night while i was trying to fix something to eat, i finally snapped -- he came in, got underfoot, and started tossing (yet more!) dirty dishes into the side that i had *just* cleaned out. i blew up and was like 'DUDE WHAT THE HELL?!?!! I'M SICK OF CLEANING SHIT OUT OF THE SINKS JUST SO I CAN WORK IN HERE!!!!!!!

afterwords i apologised for being a snappy bitch, he apologised for being a clueless slob, and it was all good. and since then, at least one sink has been available for use at all times.

so, my personal experience has been that even a snarky blowup is preferable to doing the note-writing deal. for whatever reason roommates (at least mine) seem to consider note-writing as a backstabby sort of two-faced action, where a full frontal confrontation, even if handled in a crappy juvenile manner (such as i did), seems to engender better communication in the long run.

(possible qualifier): all my roommates forever and aye, have been men. [NOT SEXIST].

HJ, loved your speech (and also amused myself by imagining all the nouns in it switched around).

I feel doomed to a life of getting passive-aggressive notes from friends, roommates, co-workers, etc.

This is due to the combination of having a piss poor memory and tending to intimidate people (unintentionally!). So people write me bitchy notes instead of addressing the matter like a grownup. I tend to react either by getting really mad and bitchy about the situation or internalizing it and feeling bad/guilty for a long time. I can't imagine that these are EVER the desired effect.

LESSON TAUGHT: Don't write P-A notes, bitches!

If someone wrote me a bitchy note, i'd be hard pressed to not write a bitchy note parody that would then escalate.
Actually i'd just ask the person about the bitchy note. Then i'd be hard pressed to not leave bitchy parody notes.
People never write me notes like that. They should.

You and I have both known since we were children how to wipe our asses after we take a shit, right? And we both know, there's no excuse for leaving shit on the toilet seat. None at all.

Is this why we've never met your housemates?

This Is Just to Say
by William Carlos Williams

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

I have seen
the shit
that was on
the toilet seat

and which
you were probably
hoping
I wouldn't mention

Grow up
it was disgusting
so lazy
and so nasty

*applause*

i always loved that poem, Pips.

Yeah, me too. Something about it.

*bows, rips tights*

i like how he asks forgiveness and presents the temptation. How could one not understand?

The plums poem is one of the few ones I can remember. Don't read much poetry. Never had plums for breakfast. Just for afternoon snacks.

Ha!

My siblings visited my grandparents recently, and found a note that said this:

to whomever it may concern

just because I am not always around to pickup the daily herald on my front door mat every day does not mean you have the right to take it. I enjoy reading the newspaper, so please do not steal it and leave it for me.

this incident will be reported to management.

Can we get a new meme of cats doing silly/bad things, captioned with "this incident will be reported to management."?