My fear is to fall to my death after being thrown out of an airplane by spider-clowns.

What's a spider-clown, you ask?

Insects. Lots of them.

Having to share a prison cell with a four hundred pound Samoan.

Who hasn't touched a woman since there was a peanut farmer in the White House.

Double posts.

And, still: Fire.

That I will die a rich man surrounded by trinkets and trappings of power.

That I will never have children.

Snakes. Or, wasps. Or, snakes that shoot wasps out of their mouths at you.

That I will be stuck where I am now for the rest of my life.
That there actually is life after death.

Not getting to the next phase of my life. And then not getting to the next phase after that.

Never having sex again. (It's only been maybe three or four months, not so long, but I just discovered that my hookup fellow -- who seemed so flakey -- is now in love and in a serious relationship with a lovely seeming gal.)

Related: Realizing that it really is me that's the problem.

Well, now my greatest fear is that SassHat and psmealey will be the architects of my demise, bringing down spider-clowns and wasp-spitting snakes on my head.

Oh dear, where do I start?

Being on the BART, under the Bay, during an earthquake which cracks the tunnel open. Being a victim of a violent hate crime. Falling back into the mindset of my religious upbringing. That the republicans will figure out a way to hack the upcoming US presidential election, and that the democrat's candidate will ignore the obvious fact that the election was hacked. That David Lynch's Inland Empire actually sucked me into another world that looks a lot like the world I'm familiar with, but is actually just a part of the film. That I'm dreaming everything, including my dreams. That I will die. That I won't die. That, instead of reincarnation, we live exactly the same life over and over again, for eternity. That there is nothing but eternity. That there is no eternity. That I will go to hell and suffer the eternal torment of a lake of fire or whatever. That I will go to heaven and suffer unending awareness of everything that goes on in the universe, for an infinite temporal duration. That the worst peak oil scenarios are what's actually going to happen. That the singularity isn't just sci-fi speculation but is actually going to happen, to disastrous grey-goo consequences. That the earth will refuse to support us any longer and discover a way of ridding herself of this parasitic life form. That we're descending into another dark ages, in which all the learning of the western enlightenment will be lost. That I actually have some purpose that I'm completely oblivious to or ignoring. That some cosmological event will take place which will wipe out all of the known the universe. That I'm getting older and uglier and there's nothing, no amount of healthy eating or exercise, which will make any difference.

That stuff, plus the spider-clowns, right?

Oh, yeah, the spider clown definitely. I'd avoided clicking on that link until now. Thanks a lot, Else. :)

I fear not the spider clown, for I have magic earrings and an inhaler.

That I will be exposed as a sockpuppet.

Erm.

I am afraid that someday I might lose (more of) my mind. I also fear that, once I'm finished with college, I'll turn out to be a horrible high school math teacher.

Wasting my life.