So how does that work? One nostril only works for inhale and one only works for exhale? Or can you switch between them at will?

I don't really have any answers. Just a bunch of questions. And it really cracks me up that you recorded your nose squeak.

One works for both inhale and exhale. Randomly the working nostril will swap. It's perplexing.

Well, like me, you might ALSO be a freak. And your brief explanation above describes my nose exactly.

As a child, I always felt 'stuffed up' and was frequently told to stop breathing out of my mouth (yep, mouthbreather me). I didn't get a real serious look from an Ear Nose & Throat specialist until after I was 30 (and I had the best medical insurance of my life). The x-ray of my head was, in his words "freaky" (and he was talking about the sinuses, not my brain) and he was surprised I breathed as well as I did. Any surgery would have been more major than the improvement it would've brought, so I elected NOT to have it. Two decades later, I'm still breathing a little funny but still breathing.

And how do I smell? Awful.

That would drive me bonkers. I've only had one working nostril for the better part of two days thanks to my allergies, and I can't stand it.

But no, no answers from me, either. Deviated septums are a good excuse to get a nosejob that's covered by insurance, though. Not that you need a nosejob. But if I had a deviated septum, I'd be all over that.

I am positive that the BF has a deviated septum too. He always feels 'stuffed up' and blows his nose, but nothing comes out. He went to the doctor about it when he was a kid, but doesn't remember what they told him. I'd like for him to go get it checked out, but he would rather not breathe and blow his nose 50 times a day than go to the doctor. Psh...

Same problem here (excluding the squeaky thing). Never thought about surgery anyway: never felt like it was a real problem. Should I care?

That's pretty much my deal too, though the squeaky nose isn't quite so obvious. I've always had it attributed to allergies. But I get by just fine.

Let's start a club. Ruggedly Handsome Nerdmen with Squeaky Noses.

I only have one nostril that really works at all. The other one barely functions. I got it from my mom. It's funny, I used to be really self-conscious about it but I don't really care now. I think it's part of the reason my voice is so nasally, and I've never had medical insurance so I can't really do anything about it.

The other one barely functions. I got it from my mom.
So, what does she use now?

My nose works fine, but I can crack/pop the cartilage (I think that's what it is) in it by pushing it side to side.

Wow. Just Wow.
I feel almost normal now.
Thanks everyone.