I was stunned that my sister/ best friend actually died, although my parents had been telling me for years that she was sick... but I didn't get how sick she was. As any older sibling does, I goaded her and teased her, regardless of her illnes. I ratted on her when she didn't take her pills... I even played tricks on her when she was in her oxygen tent while still at home before the hospital! I just had no idea she would actually DIE! She was too fabulous, witty and smart and up on all the music American Bandstand showcased to just leave this earth. I couldn't believe she was gone.. and I didn't even have the chance to tell her goodbye.

Today I'm dealing with being the caretaker of this current sister and the impact my brother's affliction has had on her. So I had not thought about Shelley in a long time. But I miss her. I wish she were with me now and maybe that's what your contacting me is all about... maybe she is with me still. And thank God for that... I need all the help I can get in that regard.

I'm curious at what thrift store you found the diary. Please let me know. Was it about three years ago? That's when my mother died and my father and I locked up the house and all its contents and put up a For Sale sign. My mother never threw anything away, so it was too overwhelming to even go through it all. There was an estate sale and all our life long possessions must now be scattered everywhere.

But I never knew Shelley had kept a diary.

As my daughter said: "Mom, this is a big cosmic kick in the ass for you... thank this woman!"

And of course I am so thankful. I hope we meet or cross paths or continue to be in touch. You have a depth of soul that I look for in people at this stage of my life.

[...]

Thank you so much for your dedicated quest to find me. It's truly amazing to hear from you and I am grateful.