Uh oh. What'd she do this time, Specks?

TO SPECKLET'S BOSS: YEAH, REALLY! DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE AND SMITE YOU!

TO MY LANDLORD: YOU'RE A CHEAP, LYING SON OF A SCROFULOUS, DUNG-ENCRUSTED YAKWHORE, AND IF I FALL THROUGH MY DECK THIS SUMMER I SWEAR I'LL SUE YOU UNTO THE SEVENTH GENERATION FROM MY HOSPITAL BED!

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! I'VE BEEN PRETTY MUCH GUARANTEED THAT I FAILED ONE OF MY CLASSES! FUCK! I AM PISSED OFF! I'M NOT FEELING TOO CONFIDENT ABOUT MY OTHER CLASSES! FUUUCK.

AAARRRRRGH!!! POT-SMOKING HIPPIE OVERLORDS SAW THIS SITE AND WENT ALL "OOOOOOOOOOOO! FLASHY GOODNESS! WE WANT!" AND NO, YOU CANNOT AFFORD, HIPPIES! SHINY FLASHY != GOOD OR USEFUL!!!

IT'S BEAUTIFUL HERE TODAY! 85* EXCRUCIATINGLY SUNNY!

RRRRRRAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

*smashing noises*

*First shouting thread* takes a deep breath and yells
TO MY TEENAGE SON: YOU ARE ACTING LIKE A COMPLETE MORON, AND IF YOU DO NOT STRAIGHTEN UP AND FLY RIGHT, YOU ARE GONNA END UP IN JUVIE! HAS ANYTHING YOU'VE DONE MADE YOUR LIFE ANY BETTER?!?!?!

I AM THIRTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG! pieisexactlythirty!

WEEEWEEEWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WEEEEEE WEHEY! can't be angry today pieisexactlythirty!

OH MY GOD IVE GOT A CHART REVIEW TOMORROW AND I THINK THE WOMAN IS GOING TO COME DOWN HARD ON ALL OF THE DISCREPANCIES. I HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT BUT I HAVE TO DO IT BECAUSE ITS MY JOB.

WHY IS THAT THE ONE YEAR I DECIDE TO BY NON-BLACK CLOTHES, BLACK IS FASHIONABLE? I WANT PRETTY COLORS- NO BLACK NO BROWN NO WEIRD GREENS!

WHY DO I ALWAYS THINK, "THESE SHOES DON'T HURT MY FEET" ABOUT SHOES THAT DO, IN FACT HURT MY FEET?

BUT YAY! I FINALLY FIGURED OUT A TOPIC FOR THE PAPER THAT IS DUE ON THURSDAY! AND I'M ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN IT!

DEAD MOUSE SMELL!
DEAD MOUSE GOOD
DEAD MOUSE SMELL BAD!
BAD!

WHY AM I SITTING AT WORK INSTEAD OF HIKING AROUND THE HEADLANDS? UGH!

ONE OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS FROM WORK'S HUSBAND DIED ON SATURDAY. HE WAS 33 YEARS OLD. HE COLLAPSED AND DIED AT WORK. I HAVE BEEN CRYING ALL DAY, OFF AND ON. I CALLED HER, AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. THEY HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR NINE YEARS, I WENT TO THEIR WEDDING, THEY CAME TO MINE. THIS IS NOT FAIR. YES, HE HAD POLYCYSTIC KIDNEY DISEASE, BUT HE WAS BORN WITH THAT AND HE MADE IT THIS FAR. SHE ALWAYS KNEW THERE WAS A CHANCE HE'D DIE BEFORE HER, EVEN THOUGH SHE'S A BIT OLDER, BUT NOT THIS SOON. Not this soon. Please hug your loved ones extra for me.

PIEISEXACTLYOVERTHEHILL! I MISS ELIZARD! PPPPPPPPSHO!

SMALL RUMINANT - WHY ARE WE NOT TOGETHER BUYING EACH OTHER BEER IN THE NORTHWEST?

GODDAMNIT PEOPLE I MISS YOU!

*This sudden wrack of homesickness was brought to you by Northwestall, the piney-fresh mental laxative that brings you back to the backwoods of the Pacific Northwest!*

*hugs redvixen*
I TURN 39 IN THREE WEEKS! I AM NOT TALL, YOUNG, THIN NOR WILL I EVER LOOK HOT IN A BIKINI! LISTENING TO THE GANG OF FOUR SONG "I FOUND THAT ESSENCE RARE" DOESN'T MUCH HELP! IT TOOK THREE DAYS OF BUSY SIGNALS BEFORE I WAS ABLE TO MAKE A RESERVATION AT BABBO FOR 10:45 ON A TUESDAY NIGHT, WHICH IS TOO LATE FOR MY AUNT AND UNCLE, SO I HAVE TO DIG UP THREE OTHER PEOPLE WHO CAN JOIN ME. I WANTED TO BE ABLE TO SHOW OFF MY PLACE TO MY FAMILY AND I CAN'T---THE HOT WATER DOESN'T WORK PROPERLY IN THE OFFICE BATHROOM AND THE GUEST'S IS SHUT OFF COMPLETELY. I'VE JUST FOUND OUT THAT NOT ONLY WOULD SOMEONE I ADMIRE WOULD HAVE SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME IN HIGH SCHOOL, BUT SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN A SNOT TO ME TOO. I DON'T WANT TO BECOME ONE OF THE SOUR OLD WOMEN I SEE ALL OVER NYC.