Sister update →[More:]I just spoke to my sister on the phone, she's fallen out with her best friend, Val. They've known each other for over 30 years and Val has seen Lesley through her 6 marriages and umpteen ups and downs. There's even been a couple of times Lesley has had to move in with Val and her husband.

Anyway, Lesley said she's had a big bust-up with Val, and even before she said it, I knew it would be about a man. Lesley's started seeing someone over the last ten days or so and she said Val doesn't approve. I said that Val's probably concerned for her welfare, but Lesley doesn't see that, she just thinks Val's interfering. She said Val thinks her new boyfriend doesn't "tick the right boxes".

It turns out he's even younger than the husband she recently split from (who is 30) "but he looks about 30" - my sister is nearly 51. He doesn't drive, doesn't work and he lives in a really bad part of town - a ghetto - but she said he has got plenty of money (er, from where?) Lesley has already met his family, and she said he stays at her house most nights. So after knowing him little more than a week she's sleeping with him.

I asked her that, bearing in mind Andy has only recently said he will start divorce proceedings (he's divorcing her, she said she'd agree if it didn't cost her anything), wouldn't it be sensible to be a little circumspect for the time being? I had to explain the meaning of the word to her, but she has absolutely no concept that it might not be a good idea to be doing this.

She's always been "I want it and I want it now!" and her need for instant gratification and lack of impulse control will always win out over taking the sensible option. It could impact on the financial issues if she is in a new relationship, and although I'd told her this to her when she was thinking about going speed-dating, the idea that she might have to wait a few months before dating again is something she cannot contemplate. The weeks from Dec-April from when Andy left to when she met this new man is the longest time since the age of 14 that she has ever been single.

I realise I sound like an old moralistic granny, but Jeez, the woman has been through this so often. She fell out with Val over her fourth husband, who she met on her birthday on 29 June one year and married him on 1 September, with everyone saying "please don't do this, think about it". And that all ended horribly. I can see the same thing happening again, but she'll be left with nobody to help her pick up the pieces.