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Did you secure from Condition Panicked as directed, O tail-gunner?
Okay, then....set Condition Pi$$ed.
Or maybe not. You were panicking, right? Maybe you weren't the only one. But...are you better off without somebody who chokes at the opportunity to take a chance?
I'm learning that sour grapes can be an appropriate defense mechanism provided I don't take it to extremes. It's worked in dating and it's working in job-hunting.
Sounds like she's terrified of conflict, even if that conflict involves telling someone No, however politely. Also, passive-aggressive.
You're better off with the martini drinking than the emailing. And after the martini, resist the temptation to email her. Just let HER wonder. Or, if you really feel the need for closure, send her an email saying "It was nice to meet you, but this is obviously not going to work out. Take care."
If there's a nontrivial chance that paths are likely to cross anyhow, I don't know that I'd bother with the E. Just nod politely but distantly and smile a sad "Oh well" smile. If she feels she has some 'splainin' to do, it'll come out.
::builds up righteous indignation on your behalf::
I do like the idea of leaving this chick wondering. I mean, cease all contact. Never call her or e-mail her again. And then, if you see her somewhere, don't mention the date that didn't happen.
That sort of stuff drives women nuts.
(Unless there was a tragic accident and she's lying under a bus, in which case you can say, "You could have at least called!")
I'd call or email. You know, there could be some legitimate reason for her having not shown up. Whenever I get stood-up my policy is to leave a message saying "We had plans for today/tonight. Call me if you still want to get together. Otherwise.. see you."
There could always be some reason for not showing up. But if it's the same woman who didn't follow through, she's just, well, someone who can't follow through. And won't. No matter how many emails she receives or second/third chances she gets.
And if she doesn't follow through on standing you up -- that is, she doesn't call to explain and say she's sorry -- well, more evidence that she doesn't fucking follow through.
Write her off -- what pup said. No excuses at this point. What a lousy, childish way to behave! You don't need someone like this. You've worked hard enough on this block of granite. Move on to more malleable materials, ASAP.
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