I'm sorry, I know that it sucks, but if she was truly interested she would have found some time to call you. On the other hand, it's possible that her cat died, that an old flame showed up, or that she's just had a really busy week.

I'm not sure if this is the case, but to answer your question: Because a lot of people are like me. Procrastinators. "I have every intention of doing it, but just not right now"-ers. If you're familiar with my posting history (especially in YELLING THREADS), I have a sincere problem motivating myself to get out of bed to go to class ("Just five more minutes...") and to go take showers ("Right after this article/website/blog entry/videogame/movie/etc"). I still haven't showered. I think I'll do it... right after this post.
I still haven't edited a lot of photos that I've been promising my mom with for months!
I put off hanging out with genuine friends too (not related to the shower thing, though :P I just hate the showers here at school.) I'll call them back later. Right after this. We'll hang out soon, I promise! Hardly every happens.

The key is to remind them, I think. Maybe something like "Hey I'm going to be at suchandsuch a place around suchandsuch a time, which is right next to thisrandomplace. Would you like to meet me there? We still haven't gone out for a beer and I figured this would be as good a time as any to go get one."

Just a thought. Good luck with everything!

I have been this girl. With guys I really liked, too! It's usually like, I make plans but figure they probably don't care as much as I do, so if I have to cancel, I do so and forget about the whole thing, because I can't imagine they'd really care.

I don't send people I only know online things anymore, because of that whole failing to follow through (or up) thing...it's so annoying. Swap things never seemed to work out - I always sent things but never got anything back. Once I sent money to someone (he wasn't asking for money but it was obvious that he needed some) and he never even bothered to email me that he'd received it, I had to follow up on that myself by emailing him and asking. Another time I shipped some things to someone at some expense, and was supposed to receive some music in exchange and never did. Sometimes people suck. Bleh. I guess I was dumb for volunteering, but I'm a helper by nature.

As for the girl, I would get in touch with her again, just in case there's a misunderstanding. You never know.

I just don't want to sound desperate or pestering. Unfortunately, I still don't have her phone number...

Yeah, I'd give her one more chance, just to be sure, maybe invite her to something specific via email, like a show or something, and then if it doesn't happen, forget about it. I have to say that I never procrastinate where romance is concerned, but then I usually get hit hard emotionally when I like somebody; I've never really dated "casually."

It is very possible that you are more "into" this than her, but I agree with the others. One more try, sussing out where she's at about it, and trying to convey the message that there is no wrong answer that she can give.

This is easy. Like JanetLand said, suggest something specific, but be very very specific. Not, "Would you like to go to a movie sometime?" or "Would you like to meet for coffee?"

Instead, something along the lines of "On Saturday morning aroun 10:00, I'm going to Chez Cheeze for some coffee and sticky buns. I'd love to meet you there." If she confirms, great. If not, go get your coffee and sticky buns. If she shows, great - but raise a mental warning flag for communication. If she doesn't show, move on. Try hitting on the first cute woman you see - play the stood up card if you want ("I was supposed to meet someone, but it looks like she's not going to show. Care to join me?")

Ok, sent her another e-mail. Dinner, 7:00 tomorrow. At least there's a good bar at that restaurant if she doesn't show up.

Heh.

Good job, though. And I agree, the "we should do something sometime" emails tend to just fall through the cracks when I get them, even if I have the best intentions to respond. They just don't sound very pressing.

And I agree, the "we should do something sometime" emails tend to just fall through the cracks when I get them, even if I have the best intentions to respond.

I'm this way too -- I don't necessarily have a lot of free time, so a generic "let's get together sometime" almost never turns into real plans for me. A specific suggestion, however, will always yield an immediate yes or no response from me -- and if the answer's no, I'll suggest a specific alternative.

I find that in cases like this, it rarely gets you anywhere to generalize ("people don't follow through!") or assume the worst ("I'm being rejected!"). Sometimes it's just that people are on slightly different pages...that's all.

Dinner, 7:00 tomorrow.

Whoops! That's awfully soon. Before I saw that note, I was going to second plinth's recommendation, but with the caveat that you give her a few days' notice - like, 3 or 4.

That's based on my own patterns. I live a heavily scheduled life and no matter how much I like someone, it's rare that I don't already know what I'm doing for the next night or two. Sometimes I'm really aware that I'm crazy scheduled out, so if I'm trying to get together with someone, I'll go over the top reiterating "No I REALLY want to do something, but I'm busy the 9th or 11th, so how about the 10th or 12th?" By making alternative suggestions I'm hoping they'll realize I'm not trying to blow them off.

But I have fallen prey to the "He can't really like me that much, I don't want to be too forward and suggest something specific" thing in the past. That could be happening. You've given enough tries after this, though - if she turns you down with no counteroffer of another time or day, let it ride.

Yeh, dollar short, day late: but I was going to weigh in with "Sure, let's do something sometime" always ends up as a never with me, just for incidental reasons, but a "Bar X next Wednesday after work, 630" will, even if I have a conflict, because then I will say, "Wednesday's bad, can you do Thurdsay?"

However, when I was dating (I'm not now) I nearly always needed more than 24 hours notice, if not because I was busy, but because I needed to work myself up to it.

Good luck, though!

bsp, I hope she shows. If not, you can mingle in the bar. Maybe even meet an interesting woman.

But I have fallen prey to the "He can't really like me that much, I don't want to be too forward and suggest something specific" thing in the past.

I do this.

I've had friends from the playground or school or parties say, "We should get together for dinner sometime." This particular woman I think is pretty cool has said this a couple of times, and each time I don't take her seriously. I don't know why I think this way. I wouldn't mention getting together for dinner if I didn't intend to. I always say, "yes, we should," but never make concrete plans, because I think she is just "being nice". It's probably ridiculous thinking. I can't help to question why this awesome person would want to get together for dinner with me.

The whole "Let's get together sometime" I've come to realize is completely impractical in my life. Free time is consumed very quickly, so I usually respond to that with a very pragmatic, "I've discovered that if I don't put it in my schedule, it just won't happen, no matter how much I'd like it to - so let's pick a day."

Girls and women have told me over the years that they will often tell white lies instead of being honest and saying they're not interested. Their hope if eventually you'd get the hint and move on. They don't want to come across as mean. Of course I came across this knowledge after lusting after them and running into the "let's just be friends" wall and thinking it might lead to something else.

Personally -- and I told the friend girls this -- I'd rather get crushed right away instead of wondering for days/weeks/etc if there's a chance. To me, it is crueler to

Of course, it might be different in your case. She might be interested but bad with follow through. I hope that is the case.

But asking a girl out for dinner on Friday night -- on Thursday -- is pretty bold. Should have started with something less "date night" to make sure there's a connection. Like coffee or a drink during the week. Then again, what do I know.

Heh. I'm not known for being particularly deft with these things. Oh well.

I had someone disappear after the first date, only to resurface in a big way four months later. "What was that about?" I ask. "I thought you would have figured it out. I had to break up with someone, and it took longer than I thought it would."

Is this the thread where I confess that I am still doing easter/spring packages? My living room is littered with boxes and goodies. I promise.

Alright, so she rescheduled for Monday. Should I be holding my breath? I'm beginning to feel like this is a lost cause.

No - that's a good sign, really. Again, if she doesn't show, buy someone random and attractive a drink.

I agree with plinth, bsp. Sounds like she's definitely interested, if she gave you a specific date and all... Good for you for taking the chance. Have fun!